All post Archive

So over the new few week (perhaps months) I will be moving all of my old observations from the facebook page to here. Along with all older post from any section of my site here…. With a little luck… it will not take that long… This page will continue to update as the weeks go bare with me..
Music and Opinions on it! < Post from 05/22/202012 -07/07/2015




NERO…Between II Worlds


I am not much a fan of Dance music in General..BUT..Every now and again I hear a beat or a tune or something hits me with it that catches my attention. Nero a project is one of the few …few…FEW… Dance projects that I know I can buy an album from and I will enjoy the ENTIRE album.


If 2016 has a sound to it I can probably agree that it would sound very much like this album. Taking great clear Vocals, hard beats and steady Rhythm is a hard thing to find. It’s music that forces you to feel it no matter what mood you are in. Personally I think the entire album creates a very very distinct sound for Nero that at this point having only created 2 albums I am pretty confident in saying that anyone who has listened or purchased or done both with this Project can agree  you get the best quality from this type of work “IF IT BE DUBSTEP, DANCE..WHATEVER!”.

Between II Worlds pretty much continues what Welcome Reality did and expands the ideas. Do I think it’s a better album? I honestly can’t say but I can say that as a entire project listening to every single track from start of album 1 “Welcome Reality to End of Between II Worlds” it’s all worth listening and really fun as it comes.
comic Reflections

So what is “Comic Reflections” all about?

The idea here is to talk about characters, plots, spoilers, my feelings, and so on around the comic books I LOVE! Most of the comics in this section are older comics. IF IT’S SOMETHING NEW-ISH “As in within the last year or so” I will post a RECENT tag for it like this!


Short of that you read it at you’re own risk because I will compare and sometimes talk about different books… so over all it’s a one man discussion! WITH THE WELCOME OF ANYONE’S QUESTIONS AND POINTS OF VIEW!!?



So a new year has started! Lots of things ended in 2015 that will be interesting to see play out in 2016. Bruce Wayne looks like he is about to learn more about his past “HE IS BATMAN”. Harley has a few things to over come on her end of the world. Lots of twist and turns and with the new year coming I am looking forward to all of it!

I know this post is coming  a bit late fact is I had to have a tooth removed today! So yea.. it’s been hard for me to focus on what is going on here. Over all I can say a few things on the topic of comics. We are reaching a interesting point I notice in that characters are having major changes. Female Thor, Wolverine, Batman not being Bruce…the list goes on.

Without question people are going to hate on it. Some are going to say FINALLY ORIGINAL IDEAS. Other will say leave it all alone and just progress the characters. I personally am an open minded guy so really I like whatever comes to be so long as the changes MAKE SENSE. One of the biggest changes is that Wolverine is now a female..and that female has many clones of herself. It’s a interesting concept if you ask me.. I didn’t see it coming. However it also adds layers to what the name Wolverine means. In a round about kinda way it keeps things interesting but it also allows for us to explore what the characters mean.

I honestly like seeing personality drawn out and questions being asked about characters that we don’t normally focus on. I think in a odd way it’s a fun time to be reading comics but it’s also very Alien because everything you could explain about the characters pretty much has to be left behind and presented as what it is now. If you asked a kid in the street who was just getting into comic books who is BATMAN? He/She might reply Jim Gordan now or something along those lines. Hell to make a character like ROBIN interesting is pretty one of the coolest things I have seen done. WE ARE ROBIN is probably  my third favorite comic to read right now and really that’s saying A LOT considering I never liked Robin at all.

Either way things are changing and I think it will be cool to see how it all pans out. Of course films are coming out this year and those will be cool in the right of …whatever.. take it as..but we will see what happens!

Video Games < Post from 10/30/2011 – 07/17/2015



Yoshi’s Woolly World


Yoshi has always had a place in my heart since the SNES “Super Nintendo Entertainment System” Super Mario World game that was the first game I played on the SNES. The character continued to have a influence during his introduction to his own games which included Yoshi’s Cookie and of course Yoshi’s Island. Now we have Yoshi’s Woolly World which introduces some interesting new mechanics to the series while maintaining all the charm of what people come to expect from a Yoshi game.




Like it’s New Super Mario Brothers this game has a coop mode that doesn’t for you to wait turns. You and your Partner “my girlfriend” play thru each level together collecting different items and coming across both friends and foes as you do it. The game has 6 worlds which to me seemed a bit short considering I was expect the normal 8 worlds. However that plays for it’s own role in that you have 6 worlds with 8 stages on each chapter.  I am sure the game has more to it in as I am sure secrets can be discovered after playing it thru the first time.


The game is a side scroller that plays simple with it’s mechanics. You can jump, hover, use your tough to grab items, and shoot eggs made of yarn. In truth everything in this game is made of yarn and cloth so pretty much everything short of the backgrounds can be used to a advantage to excel thru each stage. The game also has many collectible items such as flowers that are used to get to bonus stages. Yarn Buddles are used to add more colorful yoshi’s to your collection which you can use to play as your character. Stamps can be found to use as exactly as it’s titled.. stamps which you can leave as messages online for people “Some are REALLY REALLY FUNNY”. Lots of side items like that allow for good replay and force the play to be detailed with each search of the stages rather then rush past each level.


The game has a very colorful and interesting style to it that captures it’s charm to a T. The music goes along well with each stage but at times can be a bit annoying. As a coop game it’s challenging because it uses that mechanic well in that you are forced to find items and to do so often you will require another person to boost or help your way up onto hidden areas.

Over all it is a great game and worth the price which at the time that I purchased dropped a bit. I managed to buy the Amiibo version of the game that came with a cute little yarn yoshi that can be added to the game along with all the other ambiibos in my collection. It was worth the price just to play with my girlfriend.
Observation 123
January 9th, 2016

A new year and a new set of both the good and bad. So far I can say I started hopeful. The only bad thing to happen is a stupid f@#%ing tooth problem which I am currently dealing with. However funny note to that last part is for the past 2 years…I started each year with having a toofs”<-best English ever!” removed so really no surprise on that end.

Started the year also with a 25 cent raise because minimum wage went up again. It’s a good job to have that provides what it does for it’s employees. So over all I have zero complaints. Actually this is going to be a interesting post because currently my mind is really surrounded by family. My older brother is here from Texas and all that keeps staying in my mind “in some odd part of it” is how the years have progressed. We are all happy with our positions “for the most part”. We have built ourselves into adults and for the most part this is the first time in many many years that all of us can say we see a direction.

Now seeing a direction isn’t the same as going into it but it’s without a question a source for good feelings and Progression. We are all set her by fate in my belief and understanding why we are here is not so much as important as understanding what we will do. It’s a good feeling and probably one of the payments you get for making a good decision but it’s also like the cherry in the pac man game. You don’t need it but it’s nice to have.

That’s how I view this insight I am having..this good feeling. That things will get better and even in dark times something is to be gained from it all. I feel hope and for the start of a new year.. that is a good direction to follow.
————————————————————- <- Older post from April 4th 2015 – May 10th 2015



Running and losing weight.. what I know works for me?!

From point of Wake up
– Anything with “REAL” Peanut Butter, High Potassium food ” Bananas, Black Berries,Almonds,Broccoli “boiled”,Prunes… Really you can find a list of stuff but make sure to avoid all Butters, oils, and anything with lots of grease.
-Some “Yogurts”, Shakes can work also..but it varies..TUNA IS AMAZING…Sports drinks “power aid, Gator-aid” do help A LOT also but in moderation..not saying drink 2 BOTTLES…just one bottle will be fine.
About 30 minutes after RUN!
-Best to run for at least 10 minutes at a steady pace. Not fast! Just what you can maintain for 10 minutes. Push yourself.. and understand that yes you will hit walls but it’s important that you maintain it for 10 minutes STRAIGHT.. Push yourself each time you run and be consistent with it.
-If the first day you manage to run half a mile in 10 minutes continue to set that as the goal for the next day but push or a little more each time.. so never try to go under that start goal or what you pushed for the day before. It’s hard to maintain and ASPIRIN IS YOUR FRIEND During the first week “It’s not very good for your stomach but it will help with muscle pain so be careful with it”!

Evening Meal “Between 11 – 1pm”

-Chicken “Boiled”,Greens, Fruits, NEVER USE BUTTER, Canola Oil is good, Avoid anything WHITE “Breads, Rice”, Brown rice is good, Beans are good, Anything with lots of grease is BAD! Fish is YOUR FRIEND AND IT’S FOOD! Avoid anything fried, It’s best to avoid most canned food…but it’s not really bad.

-Anything with noodles is ok in SMALL Portions but again…NO BUTTER, NO CANNED TOMATO can make your own sauce using tomato, basil, Vegetable Oil “but probably better to use Canola”

-Avoid Cheeses, Milk that isn’t 2% or Lower, Again Grains are good “but really more of a morning thing”. You will be burning food because of the running in the morning so really things that don’t take long to break down work.

-DRINK WATER! It’s VERY VERY IMPORTANT! Helps to keep your track clean, body running and so on..Avoid SUGARY Juices, Sodas, and really anything with HIGH SUGAR. Tea is amazing, coffee works “straight black”.

At give or take 6-8pm dinner.. NO LATER THEN 8PM DINNER

-It’s important to build a pattern for your eating…Your body will adjust to it. You must continue to run EVERY SINGLE…DAY… even if you don’t want to do anything else…RUN…It’s how your body will learn to break down food, build up it’s Metabolism, and tighten your muscles..

Day 1 and every Other day..”meaning do it day one,skip a day, next day do it again”

-You will want to push for workouts that tighten your muscles. Sit ups, Small weights, Yoga helps. Most workouts that include fast movements can work also..”millions of different types of that”.

-SNAKING IS BAD…but..not if you do it right! Fruits won’t hurt you! Greens will never hurt you “But to be fair..I MEAN GREENS..NOT GREENS WITH SAUCES, TOPS, or anything like that” Meaning strictly GREENS! Again avoid breads… grains are your friend…but not BREADS..Fish foods work.. and take a multivitamin works also..

LOVE AND MY OPINION OF IT! < Post from 08/04/2014 – 06/27/2015



119 Focus

All relationships come down to what you give and what you take from them. However with that in mind being able to focus on your goals and the goals of others also make for a interesting part of how we build it all up. I know people in my life that simply don’t have time for everything because of the focus on Work, Education, Personal Goals, or sometimes just interest in general.

Being Constructive also shines on the good parts of people. Sure from time to time Jealousy can kick in but most of the time that part is pushed away by understanding and comprehending the moment.  Adults are REQUIRED to work, just like kids are REQUIRED to go to School. With that all in mind finding time is what we learn to do in between everything.

Now this also can be a big problem for those looking in. Naturally the questions come up “Why isn’t he focusing on me? or Us? Or anything outside?…perhaps it goes the other way.. Why not the important stuff?” It’s a state of mind that one can get into while dealing with relationships and it begs so many variations to it that I could probably write a book on just that topic alone.

Yet getting back on topic I have come to find that in my  own personal way I learn to run with it. People need space and of course people need time to be with other people. Measuring is different for everyone and really the discussions are how to conclude everything or at least ease the minds of those who want to understand YOU. People should be asked.. what is the goal? How long will it take? Do you have a idea on How Long? Is this the person you want to be? Is this really a big change from the person YOU HAD BEEN? It’s all measuring in concepts! Ideas and finding time to talk.. Which.. in such a fast paced world… Who can really say?
December BUNCH 2015

December part November bunch is here and never too late! LET’S GET STARTED!!

As always my sources!

Now before I GO ON! I should note that I only have a couple of places I get my comics from.. FIRST I Order em online AT


They have a good pre-order base and even a good just collection of pretty much everything related.. It’s a good organized website that you can set up a account on and make things SUPER easy to order on…

The Second place I manage to get meh stuff from .. is!


I am a big fan of the TWO locations midtown and upper east town Manhattan.. anyway! WITH THAT OUT OF THE is what I Got!!



Managed to get two deliveries this month.. so yea…

Nov 17th and December BUNCH!!

We Are Robin # 5 READ

Spawn# 257

Mortal Kombat X # 12 READ

Lobo # 12 READ

Green Lantern # 46

Flash # 45 READ

Detective Comics # 46 READ

Batman # 46 READ

All New Wolverine # 1 READ

Witchblade 185 READ

We Are Robin # 6

We Are Robin # 7

Tarot Witch of the Black Rose # 95 READ

Spawn # 258

Lobo # 13 READ

Harley Quinn # 22

Harley Quinn # 23

Green Lantern # 27

Gotham Academy # 12 READ

Gotham Academy # 13 READ

Flash # 46

Detective Comics # 47 READ

Batman # 47 READ

All New Wolverine # 2


All New Wolverine # 1

I am not much a fan of the Marvel Universe but I recently heard a rumor that ANOTHER Marvel Universe character was changing sex “The first being Thor”. Wolverine who is currently Laura Kinney “X-23” is set up to take the mantle of the fallen Male Wolverine “Logan”. However the first issue explains that a interesting twist is being set up about Laura.. So far only being 2 issues in.. it’s a interesting plot being set up.


All New Wolverine # 2

Picking up after issue 1 we find that Laura is learning more about her current situation. To be honest I really wish this book had more Dialog..but we will see I guess…it’s only issue 2.


Batman # 46

This series continues to keep me with it. I really am enjoying MR.Bloom and how his character is developing. Jim is making for a very different style of batman so far. Also Bruce is just.. gah.. it’s killing me!


Batman # 47

This issue.. HAD THE BEST ENDING TO IT.. and really it sparked a interest in what will become of the Robin Wars to come. I think it will be interesting to see how it all pans out at this point… but the ending… TO COOL!


Detective Comics # 46

As I said with the batman book I really am ENJOYING Jim Gordon as Batman. The way that he explains his actions and how he struggles with the character of what it is to be BATMAN is really helping to layer the character.


Detective Comics # 47

This one pretty much ties batman into the Robin wars. It seems to me that everything recently is branching into that. It’s sort of an End/Beginning we will see..


Flash #47

This book is full of information and some pretty big changes! Honestly can’t wait for 48 “which I have in my  hand” .. pretty cool seeing what is happening here! Again.. very interesting ending to this book..


Gotham Academy # 12

I have said it before .. CHARM SPILLS Out of this series. I continue to find that the characters are building to be really interesting characters. I like seeing how the relationships are growing and what is happening to our main characters. This one really picked up parts for what I think will be a interesting future for the series.


Gotham Academy # 13

Again at this point pretty much everything is going in the direction of the Robin Wars. However this one introduces a interesting character who I think might even become a very important piece to the future of the series….perhaps


Lobo # 13

THE END!! or…is it? Honestly I sort of knew what was going to happen here before reading it cause of the signs the books gave before hand. Not exactly the way I would have thought it would be concluded…but not a bad ending.. not a bad series really..just… sorta all over the place.


Mortal Kombat X # 12

This book alone could have been it’s own story. It has a beginning a middle and an end.. it being the last in the series I really HOPE that 13 and so on get’s made because lots of questions are still up in the air. As of right now no NEWS on up coming issues have been made…but.. I Suppose the future could branch out to another game..and what really threw me off was the fact that the new DLC has sorta a link to this book specifically.. we will see!


Tarot Witch of the Black Rose # 95

I like this book..but if I hadn’t read previous books.. about the characters that are introduced in this book I probably would have no clue what was going on… It seems to me that something is being built in the background to this story. Not sure….what… but it’s without question going to be a interesting future..


We Are Robin # 5

This series I continue with because it really does have a driving force for more in the DCU than it lets off. At this point it is the center of the events to come and without question the characters continue to become more and more interesting. I look forward to reading the next too issues..


WitchBlade 185

I Love how this series was sort of sad..but in a nice way.. and really to see the witchblade series end …broke my heart but it also leaves in a interesting way because of how it branches off.. Do I think this is the real end?….NO…but I think it’s a great way to at least conclude this series for a few years..



It’s been some time since I last wrote anything about politics. While I was gone things here have become from what I have noticed a continued shit storm of “who will be president, Terrorist Attacks, what will come of the border? and pretty much the same old bullshit I really do come to expect!”. I think about the world around me and a part of me needs to hold hope for it. The idea that it will all lean to something better still holds true in the back of my mind.

People are scared but not changing the state of mind of “This is what they want SO I WILL  NOT GIVE IN AND CONTINUE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME REGARDLESS!!”. I mean if I think about why anyone would do something horrible to the people the main thing that sticks out is because they want PEOPLE TO FEAR THEM! They want walls to go up and people to make them feel like they made a difference in a negative way.

It’s like having a bully in your life. If you ignore em 99% of the time they lose interest. However that 1% of the time people just need a good beat down to tell em.. you aren’t crossing lines with me! So by ignoring the stupidity you sort of learn to say “you aren’t worth my time”. Actions should be taken place but in a smart manor not senseless strikes because what’s the point in all that?

I am not saying we as people should do NOTHING. I am saying Strikes need to come from smart places. The people should feel safe and should know that we are doing everything we can to protect what is good in life. IT’S THE STATE OF MIND THEY WANT TO CHANGE… and You should NEVER GIVE INTO THAT.






I am one of those people who loves to hold long conversations about everything. You get me on a topic and I can go on for hours and hours. So naturally I also have the attention to listen to good conversations. I can’t stand watching the News ON TV..but I do enjoy opinions IF it’s labeled as that “An opinion”. So about four years “I want to say” I got into podcasts.

Podcasts for those that don’t know “maybe 2 % of my readers” are pretty much recorded conversations online. Sometimes they report News but most of the time it’s just opinions recorded. Naturally I enjoy my comic book, horror, and Video game podcast. Yet I am also finding some Relationship, Computer Programming, and cooking podcast I also enjoy.

In truth I almost ditched this writing nonsense on here TO DO A PODCAST. However I never could focus on it like I could this. Either way if you ever get the chance to think.. hey I like “blank” chances are someone is doing a podcast about…LOOK IT UP!

Observation 122

December 31, 2015

This year has been really good “all things considering”! 2015 proved a few things about humanity that I have been “saying” for years. In groups we are dumb. We believe the words of many many many people without fact. We always jump to conclusions about topics we haven’t done any sort of research with. If we read about it in the newspaper/New website or see it on television… IT MUST BE TRUE!

This is why I think we have “and this is my opinion” the problems we have and will have THIS COMING YEAR. Donald Trump…is running for president and this year “2016” will be a election year. It sounds like a joke even as I write it but I know people who will vote for him because he is “Honest” which in sum to the above joke proves that people believe the government is being depicted as DISHONEST.

Secrets destroy relationships and no one can question that. While we lie for the benefit of pretty much everyone we do it with that never helps. It creates drama and while some people LIVE FOR DRAMA “I do not”. I Write because it helps me express my feelings and not because I want to make up drama. While most REAL DRAMA is written I know that everything I write here I will back up in person. I make it “as a matter of fact” by inputting it all into words that I can “prove” with a time stamp. I said what I said and here you go you can read it during the time I wrote it.

ANYWAY this has been all over the place so far. The point I am making is that my writing will continue and I am refining the website more this year. With this year will come a great many changes “for everyone” that much I am 100% sure of. Who knows what will happen?

I can hope! That is what I will continue to do!




Take every Violent game and Heavy Metal Album you have ever listened too and combine it into one thing with really the most minimal story and you have Hatred.  A Pc game that drives the player to just kill person, after person, after person. You kill the Police, the army and really have one drive… TO kill more after that!


The game has a very very simple mechanic to it. You run and gun.. Nothing really technical to learn about the game. You are allowed to hold 3 guns at a time, and a side weapon which consist of throwing items like Grenades and Flash bombs. Close finishing moves allow you to rebuild your health. You can ride around in some vehicles during the game but it’s more of a side thing to do. pic3

It’s not a very long game to play and should give the average player about 2 – 4 hours of gameplay but for the price it’s expected. While using the Unreal 3 engine is cool graphically and it does allow for some very brutal cut scenes. The game doesn’t really change it’s pace at all.. 8 stages of ..kill kill…kill..gets a bit boring but it does keep it’s sense of humor thru the pacing so that pretty much becomes the drive for the game.


Much like the game Duke Nukem it has a silly side to it. You can’t take the game seriously with some of the dialog. While it does have a side to it that was a bit over the time with people screaming NO DON’T KILL ME…AND Lots and lots of F-Bombs..The game is fun.. but in a Adult Arcade type of way. NOT A GAME I WOULD BUY FOR ANYONE YOUNGER THEN 16… it’s worth a shot if your into senseless silly violent fun!
Video Games < Post from 10/30/2011 – 07/17/2015



TOP 10 FOR 2015!!

Now keep in mind as always this top 10 list is something I always do at the end of the year and it reflects games I enjoyed this year.  Doesn’t mean they came out this year..just means I managed to play em this year..and yea..


Alien Isolation (ps4)

This game took me a bit by surprise. I didn’t really know what to expect from it and really from what everyone was telling me “at the time” it was the game every ALIEN FAN wanted to play. It was creepy, set the mood from the films, and had a interesting story to tell. Without question this had to be on my list and while I am making it number 10 that isn’t a bad thing at all.



New Super Mario Brothers. U (Wiiu)

Me and my girlfriend had a really really good time playing this game together. It challenged us and over all was a good bonding game that presented something to us both that most games forget about. FUN FUN FUN! While it didn’t really offer anything super new to the experience short of allow both me and her to play each stage at the same time “as opposed to having to wait your turn”.. it was one of those games that just brought us together and was really over all everything I hoped to expect from a Mario game… on to YOSHI’S WOOLLY WORLD…


Batman Arkham Knight (ps4)

I know .. I haven’t even written my review of this game yet. Fact is I am not 100% finished with it. The main story “is finished” but so much more content to look into with this game before I can feel satisfied enough to write about it. However I will say that it’s fair for me to call this game number 8 cause it does conclude a REALLY REALLY FUN SERIES..of games.



Another game I haven’t review “not because I didn’t want too!” I haven’t been able to review it cause I didn’t have pc to finish it with..NOW I DO.. so this will probably be the next game I review for 2016!’s on the list cause it’s just..over the top..not to be taken seriously..and it stars a guy who many people have said..IS ME……ON A BAD BAD…BAD…BADDDDDDDDDD DAY…lol


Destiny (ps4)

Honestly I wish I HAD MORE TIME TO PLAY IT.. but it being an online game and a shooter and being so damned massive I can at least say it’s a good game .. should be on this list. Will I ever write a review for it..who knows…cause I don’t normally write much about MMO’s…but it’s a fun game to play!



Splatoon (wiiu)

Not going to lie… this game took me away from Destiny in terms of online games. It’s fun.. competitive…and very very addictive. I will write  a review for it once.. I manage to finish it…and get enough time into it to write up an opinion… puff puff




Another game that I would have had finished had I had the PC to finish it. This one is on the list because it’s fun.. original..and made me laugh my ass off… GOING TO FINISH IT SOON…so yea.. Christ….lmao



Challenging.. I still haven’t finished it but I love the style, gameplay..the tone of it.. everything about this game is awesome short of the fact..IT’S HARD… REALLY DIFFICULT to finish and requires a great deal of grinding that I simply don’t have time to do these days…I am sure a review will come for this game sooner or later..but who knows when…




Shocked!! IT’S NOT #1!! Don’t get me wrong.. this game was perfect for what it was.. and I love everything about it. It very well could have been number one on my list for all the time I spent playing it and enjoyed it. The story was great, characters are awesome and nothing is wrong with this didn’t do for me what the number one game did..




Ok..couple things I want to say here..First I am not much of a shooter fan. In all honesty I could do without the shooter stuff..However.. ! One of my favorite games of all time is DOOM 64. Why? It’s a simple game that really I can sit down..don’t have to pay much attention to..and really can pick up at any point and enjoy..

Now take that.. mix it with an amazing story..AND I MEAN AMAZING STORY… and you got a really really perfect combination of fun..attention..focus..and just a experience I haven’t felt in a longgggggg time… This game is great..and without question my favorite for 2015.. but mkx does come close…but damn…this game was REALLY FUN AND GOOD..
Observation 121

December 6th

The last few days have been sort of strange. My moods have gone from really good to really bad in just one week.  I mean that can be really any given week but what made it strange this week is that I actually noticed how it slowly declined.

So let me explain so that it doesn’t make it sound like I am on drugs or anything strange like that. Every week starts off at work cause I work at night so let’s say 1 a.m. Sunday Morning. I did my normal Sunday routine and I was feeling pretty good cause I had just gotten past another Thanks Giving.  Thanks Giving is always a good time cause I get to spend time talking to everyone that is important to me. Sister “April”, her Husband “Charles”, the boys “CJ and William”, my mother and father.  I spent a good part of the weekend thinking back on that and how lucky I am. Of course my mind would go other places but mostly I was on that this is a good life High that people get “from time to time”. Really it was a normal work week.  I can’t say anything strange happened at work at all that wasn’t in routine so I know for a fact it isn’t work that is bringing me down.

The Two nights I had off I honestly didn’t spend any time doing anything important or even really note worthy “here”. I played Video Games a majority of that time “which I haven’t done in a LONG LONG LONG TIME”.  Something about Wolfenstein The New Order caught my attention this week and I had to finish it “really really good  story…will write about it in the video game section later on this week”. So I can pretty much mark off it wasn’t anything I did during those two nights off.

Come to think of it the weather has been pretty shit lately. Probably has something to do with that and the air pressure around here. Might be a mix of December at age 32. Not the same feeling as December at age 12 “but what is the same at such a difference”. I don’t know what it is is.. just can’t pin point the feelings. Just feeling really low…”not so much depressed” as much as low…no motivation…no clear thoughts..just sort of …drifting..”if that makes sense?”.


yea this is a strange One.. ….hmmm…..
Video Games < Post from 10/30/2011 – 07/17/2015



Wolfenstein The New Order


So awhile back I ordered this game thinking I was getting a copy of it for the ps4. Sadly I made the mistake and it was for the PC. Now I wasn’t upset at the time because I had a PC that could run it. Really I played half way thru the game ON PC but because it wasn’t my own PC things got a bit side tracked and I never finished it. Skip a few months later and thanks to I managed to REbuy a copy of this game for PS4 ..for like..less then 5 bucks..  SO …after all of 3 days..perhaps in total..24 hours.. I managed to finish the game and ..yea…here we go!


Anyone that knows me knows I love love love everything ID software produces. From Doom, to rage, to Wolfenstein. Now this series has been rebooted several times in my life time. Pretty much every time it has been rebooted I payed no mind to it because really didn’t have anything different to offer that really..most shooters don’t already offer.. So it’s sort of bores me to think..ok ..another shooter..blah…

However I was taken back to find that this time around ID software was going to focus not so much on the shooter aspect of the game but THE STORY. Again anyone that knows me knows I LOVE  a good story! I knew entering the game that it was going to be a short game.. give or take 2 or 3 hours of story telling…perhaps at best.. 8 hours of Gameplay..which your first go around will actually take sometime to get past…

One of the things I did enjoy the most about the Gameplay was how simple it was. Pretty much they set you off in a direction..and you shoot at Nazi’s “LIKE WOLFENSTEIN 3D”. So really anyone who has ever played a shooter can pretty much finish the problem…the graphics are beautiful..sound is pretty epic.. really everything that went into making the game you could tell was done with love and to cater to the great story.

I didn’t expect much but really the story is what drives the game. You learn to care about the characters and pretty much dive into the world you are presented. It’s twisted and scary in that it’s a world that EVERYTHING is against you. However easy to enjoy and fun to explore. I had a great deal of fun playing this game and for the price really it WAS WORTH IT.



Now..before I go on last weekend was also the first round of the DOOM BETA. I did get to play it..and while the game is everything I expected it to be..Honestly I am not much of a online can’t really say much for what was presented other then..I WANT TO PLAY DOOM….NOT ONLINE…JUST…DOOM!….good times..good times…


November BUNCH 2015

November bunch is here and never too late! LET’S GET STARTED!!

As always my sources!

Now before I GO ON! I should note that I only have a couple of places I get my comics from.. FIRST I Order em online AT


They have a good pre-order base and even a good just collection of pretty much everything related.. It’s a good organized website that you can set up a account on and make things SUPER easy to order on…

The Second place I manage to get meh stuff from .. is!


I am a big fan of the TWO locations midtown and upper east town Manhattan.. anyway! WITH THAT OUT OF THE is what I Got!!



As I explained “kinda sort of” I skipped last months Bunch..but of course I DID get comics..just was so focused on trying to write my book. Anyway..Last month was so big that it had a delivery and a trip to the city ..that caused me to MAKE… a bunch for in between..So this will be Titled Novembers BUNCH!***

Batman # 45 READ

Convergence HC

Detective Comics # 45 READ

Gotham Academy # 11 READ

Green Lantern # 45

Harley Quinn # 21 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 11 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us year Four # 12 READ

Justice League Vol 2 READ

Lobo # 11 READ

Mortal Kombat X # 11 READ

Spawn # 256

Tarot Witch of the Black Rose # 94 READ

Tarot Witch of the Black Rose Volume 2 READ

New Suicide Squad Volume 1 Pure Insanity

BATMAN Eternal Volume 2 READ

BATMAN Eternal Volume 3 READ


Batman # 45

So this one starts with a bad situation and sort of dives out of it in a fun way. Adding to the character some more gadgets and of course the idea of why the Mech suit. This issue becomes important because it applies more of what makes this batman actually different from REAL BATMAN.


Batman Eternal Vol 2.

Now I didn’t get to read the weekly releases of this series. I knew that details would come up with the series that I would be required to know…but I kinda just left it be..and tried to wrap my head around many of the details as best I could. SO…after Finally picking up Vol 2 and 3.. I understand many of the underlining things that happened to Gotham and so on. In all honesty this is probably some of the best Batman STORIES I have read in awhile…”short of hush and Justice League vol 1″. You can really tell from this volume 2.. that the main characters are changing..and growing to be very outside of what we knew of them from the past…


Batman Eternal Vol 3.

Now this one starts up directly after Vol 2. The characters have all pretty much changed..Gotham for lack of a better way to say it..IS HELL..on earth.. We have a big rise of villains we know and love… and the questions FINALLY come to a all honesty’s a ruff ending ..but a really really really great story… Me knowing how it all turns out..kinda makes it more satisfying in the end…


Detective Comics # 45

So along side Batman 45.. this one is a bit more focused on Bruce Wayne…The Justice League and the start of what the new Batman “Jim Gordan” will figure to face for the future. You receive some absolute answers on what state of mind Bruce is in..and you come to understand a bit more about what the start of this new arc will be like..


Gotham Academy # 11

Return to Gotham…with the fun kids from Gotham Academy and your bound for some interesting events.. This book features some cool twist.. Naturally we continue to learn more about Olive and her past.. it also features a special guest…but i won’t say more..BUT IT’S COOL!


Harley Quinn # 21

My goodness this still has to be the funnest series to read out of all the books I have gotten to read..It still continues to make  me laugh.. ANYWAY.. This book continues from the last with Harley out of New York..chasing after the bratty girl and eventually running into DEADSHOT.. to say the least.. it’s a fun conclusion to that bit.. but it also sort of hints a bit at things to come.. I really am very curious with what is going to happen next..?


Injustice Gods Among Us year four # 11

Continuing down the road to the video game.. we learn a few details about why the old gods and the new gods don’t get involved with what is actually happening on Earth. Some answers are given..but really it raises more questions to what might happen in the coming year five…


Injustice Gods Among Us Year four # 12

Honestly I thought this would be the book to wrap it all up and move to the video game..but it wasn’t… We are actually going to a year FIVE…which sort of took me off guard..but in some ways leaves it very open for why why why… in the series..At the end of this one.. you really do come to understand a few things about the main characters.. and really I am looking forward to seeing what year five will bring?


Justice League Vol 2

Justice League Vol 1 was so good that I had to see what Vol 2 would be about.. While vol 2 didn’t hold as much did dive into a very interesting way of explaining why we have the characters we have in the current Justice League. This was really a book about roles…and places..Naturally it expands on what exactly is the Justice League…why the team to begin with? While it is a fun book to read.. it really does layer what the series can be..


Lobo # 11

At this point I am a bit sad to see this series end… knowing that it has ONE MORE ISSUE.. I Thought ..perhaps they would rush much of the story to the conclusion..but really this one goes at it’s own pace..a really interesting few things happen with the red lanterns… kinda raises some questions on that group…which really I didn’t find to be a interesting group …until this book… now I am a bit curious..hmm?


Mortal Kombat X # 11

We finally have a conclusion to most of the events of the series in this issue.. it does leave a few questions.. and really while it expands the story.. I am left with still…so many questions.. Perhaps issue 12… but I suppose we will see considering I think next month is the last issue 😦


Tarot Witch of the black Rose  # 94

One of the main reasons I keep reading and collecting this series is because I can ask a question at the end of one book..and Receive an answer by the next issue. 94 answers questions I had about the Skeleton man and everything he is involved with..while it hasn’t been addressed in awhile.. it comes full circle with what the series started with “his character”… and sort of plays catch up on current events and everything he is involved with.. I like how it’s paced..and how it goes on to sort out..POSSIBLE…futures..but continues to make me curious!


Tarot Witch of the Black Rose Vol 2

ONE OF THE HARDEST…BOOKS TO FIND!! yet worth it! This book collects issues 7 thru 11.. and really does dive more into my favorite character in the series..”Raven Hex”.. it’s a fun book..and it really does build the structure for what the main characters will become.. just over all a good time to read..and really really really happy I FINALLY OWN IT! This set in the series.. really does explain so much of what the series will become..and yet.. leaves some questions..that I STILL…don’t have answers too…hmmmmm?
comic Reflections

So what is “Comic Reflections” all about?

The idea here is to talk about characters, plots, spoilers, my feelings, and so on around the comic books I LOVE! Most of the comics in this section are older comics. IF IT’S SOMETHING NEW-ISH “As in within the last year or so” I will post a RECENT tag for it like this!


Short of that you read it at you’re own risk because I will compare and sometimes talk about different books… so over all it’s a one man discussion! WITH THE WELCOME OF ANYONE’S QUESTIONS AND POINTS OF VIEW!!?



So much cool stuff to go over!! Lots of things have happened in the DCU and so much more is happening in just comics in general. The coming year will be pretty big for on the big screen stuff also. Honestly I am sort of looking forward to seeing the new Marvel Civil War part 1 film.. I read the Civil War comics and it’s going to be a interesting story to dive into with Government VS the Freedom of the people sort of underline theme to it.

So to start off I will NEED to explain how BATMAN is now currently the Comic book series that I am really really really into. First off for those that don’t know…Bruce Wayne is VERY VERY ALIVE. However after the last issue I read He has no clue who he is with the effects of the last story arc with the joker and him ALMOST dying.  To simply prove the fact he has no history of him being Batman the justice League stepped in and had Wonder Women do a sort of Q & A with Bruce to figure out if he was telling the truth of leading everyone on with his memory lose.

Truth be told Bruce Wayne at this point is just that… Bruce Wayne…and not Batman.  Due to memory lose who can really say IF he will ever wear the suit again. Of course most Fans are interested in this and while some are whining about it. I personally think this is a really cool way to explore the man Bruce Wayne and what type of person he COULD have been had he not put the suit on. Which in itself so far is fun because you come to understand he still is a good man. He works still with the helpless, spends a majority of his time trying to help others just not in SUCH A EXTREME way.

HOWEVER.. With no Bruce in the suit… The city of Gotham has come to it’s conclusions that it still NEEDS A BATMAN.. So in a sort of State Assigned way.. James Gordon has taken on a VERSION of a Mech-suited Batman. Now keep in mind while James does have a military background he has none of the  training Batman has.. True he makes for a good Detective but in this state he really is just a man doing all he can to hold the mantel of Batman in the best way he can.

To me it makes sense because you would want someone who would be none corruptible to be in the suit but also someone who understands the battle as long as Batman has if NOT LONGER. Understanding the city and so on..IT’S A COOL STORY AND I LOOK forward to seeing how the rest will pan out.. Of course it has it’s New Villain to play with ..which is actually one of my favorites to see come to the pages “MR.Bloom” in a long time. We will see how it pans out …!

Also I managed to get hold of the digital First Issue of the Dark Knight Returns Part 3. I like what is happening with that..and for those that haven’t read it YOU SHOULD! I ALSO did finish Batman Eternal and Hush and really both are great stories!!

With a sad heart I am also going to report here that we are heading into the ending of Witchblade..Mortal Kombat X and Lobo.. with this coming month..

Now honestly I expected Mortal Kombat X to continue like Injustice has..cause it’s got some really GREAT Story telling in it..but I guess we will see how it concludes regardless.. Witchblade to me seems like it’s being rushed to end… I don’t know why but I guess we will see what the result of that.. and Lobo I sort of knew was coming because of how bad it’s sales had been.. The character just no one I think wanted all the changes..and I am sure in the future it will revert back to OLD LOBO…and at some point it will start again… Just a matter of time. The way I look at it is sort of like..the band Kiss.. You take the make up off to lose some that when you put the Make up back on …YOU GET A BIG BURST OF OLD FANS welcoming it back…

Short of all that Really things are moving along in the Universes… Wolverine is taking a new face also..with A FEMALE version of Wolverine.. My guess is it only makes sense to change the sex considering they changed Thor and Spider Man…while still a just seem Spider Woman is more a interesting to tell.. Who knows how any of that will go but I have hopes for good story telling..


So I am still working on pretty big list of games. However this post is like a week late and while that accord to me so did a few other thoughts. So this month I will have a game to write about once I finish it “Majoras Mask for the 3DS”. Yet aside from that.. the reality of the situation came to mind and …I am about to explain some changes here..

Since I was..I want to say about 11 or maybe even 9 years old I have had a love and some say “Obsession” with Video games. Games have always opened that part of my mind that allowed me to not only relax but interact with people and things. It built my love for lots of things such as how I got into Music, Horror, and art in general. I can recall a million memories of going to school having really nothing to relate to with anyone BUT spending hours upon hours talking about Video games that I enjoyed playing with friends and so on.. Time would pass and I would get into specific ones more then others..

Mortal Kombat WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MEH will Doom, the Zelda series, Kirby, and so’s simply at this point built into my personality. However after almost 20 years of all that and becoming an adult I am finding that time is just limited on the day. I have things now that I didn’t in the past “Responsibilities…etc” so with that in mind things …have…changed…

I am no longer capable of being a gamer the way I am..or as kids would call it now.. I AM A CASUAL GAMER!

Which…really…means…I won’t be post nearly as much! SO yea..ya get what your getting now and … I Don’t want to hear no griping..sorry… I AM OLD!

Observation 120

November 9th

It’s taken me a few days to think about what this observation would be about. Normally I have something in mind but recently my mind has been really focused on the future. The universe has been asking “what do you want? What are you planning to do next?”. I have put so much thought into it all and I still have no answer. The most important question that comes to mind is “Am I happy with what I have?”.

I am not uncomfortable with any of my decisions. I don’t feel upset with my past in as much as I once was. I know now that what has happened is in the past and that whatever good or bad comes my way now will be all on my own ” as it has always been”. Yet I still have no risk? Nothing I can think to jump for? Perhaps I am comfortable with what I have currently and because of that I just don’t see a drive for more like most people.

I mean really what more could I want at this point? I have a job, a place of my own, people who love me and every materialistic thing I could want. I get to write on here and while my job isn’t the best in the world it’s providing me with what I have. Would I like to do more and perhaps leave the field I am in? Sure.. and for the most part I am taking time here and there to learn things I haven’t really thought about learning before “Computer coding, writing, stuff like that”. To me it feels like I am in a good position to do anything but because I can do ANYTHING and I know I am smart enough for that perhaps it’s important at this point to just figure out WHAT IS MY FOCUS?

It feels like having a table full of treats and being told that you can only pick ONE to eat for the rest of your life. HELL even with that I would probably have an answer but at this point the bigger picture just seems really small. It’s going to continue to rack my brain until I figure it out..but something tells me a answer is coming soon!

LOVE AND MY OPINION OF IT! < Post from 08/04/2014 – 06/27/2015



118 The Roads less Traveled

Who’s really to say what is right and wrong? I mean naturally lines are provided by emotional content. We all know by our feelings what is the right thing to do and what the wrong thing to do is. While some of us get confused about the Social Standards to what is right and wrong I don’t believe it’s all that complicated.  So alright we first have to set this up into sections I think and some are clearly easy to understand while others REALLY COMPLICATED.

First we understand and ALWAYS OBEY THE Societies LAWS! Why? Cause going to jail would suck and really those laws are provided with a understanding of all ages. Not one mind put them in place but many and without question of just one view but many they have always proven to be the correct way to go. So we never break the laws!

However this is a funny statement because so many of us forget that Legally Marriage is “in many parts of the world” the binding of TWO people. In many states it is ILLEGAL TO CHEAT and believe it or not you can be punished by LAW for doing so. Now of course this is sort of a bending thing that people whom are married almost never follow. Most of the time it’s “You cheated = Divorce or Forgiveness”. So bending the law is a bit of a thing people do these days.

I personally never understood that part but I also have never cheated on anyone I have ever been with but I’s a personal point of view for most people. GETTING BACK TO TOPIC…

The Second thing that most people don’t do and this part is mind numbing to me. Communication! Talking to the other person till the face is blue tends to work. However in some cases no matter what words are said sometimes the words go in one ear out the other. Often this is because one member wants something the other member simply doesn’t. It comes down really to compatibility and Compromise.

What understanding both parts of this really is comprehending that everything “both physical and emotional” come from one end of the party. People relate to each other by accepting the strange and the different from themselves.

I have in the past had friends who most people would never understand how I managed to get along with. Truth is it was always working because we understood each other “which isn’t the same as agreeing with one another”. It meant that communication was good and that getting from point A to point B worked.

Yet I think about this and so few people understand that part because it can often be a social leap to accept. The Road less traveled becomes in some ways a delusion because if you can’t preconceive it working from the start it often becomes not worth even trying for it.
comic Reflections

So what is “Comic Reflections” all about?

The idea here is to talk about characters, plots, spoilers, my feelings, and so on around the comic books I LOVE! Most of the comics in this section are older comics. IF IT’S SOMETHING NEW-ISH “As in within the last year or so” I will post a RECENT tag for it like this!


Short of that you read it at you’re own risk because I will compare and sometimes talk about different books… so over all it’s a one man discussion! WITH THE WELCOME OF ANYONE’S QUESTIONS AND POINTS OF VIEW!!?



So with the introduction out of the way a few questions come to mind that should also be answered about my love for comics? Well really questions that comes to mind for anyone who loves comic books so this is going to really make it personal but sort of common in the same.

What type of comics do I like? “Genre wise”..

Personally I don’t have a particular Genre I like. I have read mystery, sci-fi, horror, Romance…really it’s the characters that keep me with the stories. I like seeing the evolving of emotions and thinking of each character. So genre has never been a question. I am open to just about everything and it has more to do with the writing really that keeps me focused.


Currently I am more of a DC Fan and mostly it’s because of timing. I personally hate to start anything from the middle “unless I really have no choice”. Lucky enough as I am I got into comics just before DC Comics figured it was a good idea to REBOOT all of it’s series back in 2011. So naturally once I sorted out how I was going to buy the comics I set a path to follow some series.  Most of the series I Follow are DC comics for the new 52 series. I have kept with some and left others behind but it’s be really a learning experience on it’s own.

Do I have a favorite series or character?

Batman has grown on me and really Thanos is still probably the coolest villain character I have read in a story. I can see why Marvel Studios made him the big bad in the films they are releasing. In truth Villains have always been more interesting to me so really picking one would be difficult to do.. but yea..

What I plan to do with this section after this post is go into more detail about plots and stories. So really with all that out of the way it should be a fun time!!



It took me a few days to think this one over. Fact is I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about until a few moments ago.I Just had a strange dream but that will  be explained some place else. Right now the concept came to mind about being young in the world. I Remember being young and I never really thought much about being older. Hell being young I never thought I would make it this far. Was just more concerned about passing grade school test and was worried more about what my homework was.

Those had been my priorities. I didn’t want my parents pissed at me and I didn’t want to disappoint them most of all. I was afraid of the future more than anything else. I mean here I am a kid living in Brooklyn, New York during the 90’s. Ya don’t talk to strangers! You always look before crossing the roads both ways AND ABOVE ALL YOU CALL your parent to let them know you are O.K. at least once every 2 hours. Yet here you are with everything at your finger tips and all you want to do is ride your bike outside.. You do it stupid fast also and some how always manage to avoid every single car. Never a scratch on ya but you don’t think about the risks either. It’s living fast and dying young at it’s best and you do it without a care in the world.  Well you care about video games, your friends, and the natural cause and effect of the ladies hits later on but that again is another story on it’s own.

So we take all that and we jump let’s say.. give or take 20 years later! You are old now and you look around and everything isn’t as free as it was. Hell you come to learn NOTHING IS FREE. You have bills to pay, food to buy to eat, stress from working a shit job. That feeling of really being free is gone and it isn’t anyone’s fault but your own. You accept it because you have to accept it. It’s what sane people do! They work 9 to 5 jobs “in my case 10 to 7”, pay the bills and shut the fuck up! God forbid you do anything to show someone how to do anything the right way. Everyone has a point of view so you are always wrong. Democrat or Republican YOU ARE WRONG No matter what you say to whomever.

Religion becomes a thing because as you get older you start to think maybe one day you will die! So naturally that feeling of playing cards comes into the adult point of view and everything you do now is being judged. While young you could dismiss it and wear black nail you would look like a crazy person doing that and probably lose your job in the process CAUSE EVERYONE BUT YOU HAS STANDARDS ON WHAT YOU DO.

I never thought much about the nature of god and so on. I have my points of view of it and I believe in enough stuff to keep my morals grounded and yes perhaps I should practice more to save my soul..but I Will get to it one day..when I am not so tired.. Anyway…just a thought I Suppose?

Music and Opinions on it! < Post from 05/22/202012 -07/07/2015


So last week saw the release of new album “Feel the misery” by My Dying Bride. It’s been give or take three years since the last album the band made “A Map of all Our Failures”. Having listened to the album recently I can honestly say this wasn’t what I expected at all and was pleasantly surprised by the direction the new album took. Rooting itself with this album is a much much heavier sound than I expected to be released . Having revisited some of it’s more aggressive tones this time around I have no question that after 13 recorded albums and several EPs released to top it that the band knows exactly what it’s good at and what it wants to leave behind.

This album comes with eight tracks that show a very technical and Symphonic sound to it. Adding to the Doom lyrics a very melodic/Heavy way of presenting itself I personally feel this is one of the more focused albums to come from a direction of mixes with the guitars, drums, vocals, violin, bass, and synthetic sounds that come from the band. Without question it is proof that the Doom Metal Genre isn’t dead and that new things are still being discovered with the right art form.

One of the main focuses I also noticed about this album in particular “against previous albums” is that it’s a much lighter tone than I expected with it. Not leaving its gloom and doom roots but taking a bit of a “happier” sound with it…it’s sort of hard to describe because really happy isn’t the word I wanted to use but it’s got sort of a pop to it.

Really it’s worth every penny and if doom is something that interest you it’s without question something you should check out!

New Super Mario Bros.U 09/25/2015


So awhile back I purchased two Wiiu systems. One I kept with the Skylander/Nintendo Land Pack that came with the system. The other as a gift for my parents that came with the New Super Mario Bros.U . My parents being the most epic people in the world allowed me to borrow it and well me and the girlfriend took our time with it to finish it up. Anyway…here..we..go…


The very first thing I noticed about this game is that graphically this is the nicest looking SIDE SCOLLER Mario game to date. Taking advantage of both 3D models and interesting Background designs it pretty much becomes a update to that which everyone knows as a Mario Game. Take that statement really for what it’s worth because old or new the formula still works. However the most interesting part of this version of the game if you ask me is that instead of going one character at a time you work cooperatively with the other player on screen.


So naturally player one plays as Mario with either the Wiiu Pad or a Wii mote. Player 2 – 4 can choose between Luigi and a assortment of different color toads. Really the characters don’t differ much side from the colors you can choose. This time around also you will find that they assortment of power ups you receive are very useful in that you can use them to explore each stage given.

Like previous Mario games “since 3” you are given a map to travel to get to the end. Another interesting thing about this game that I found was that you could take paths that would direct you into a entirely different path to the end. So even if you went one way your first go you could go back and go a completely different way. Naturally the end goal is the same but it makes for a less frustrating game in that you could choose a easier path to go.


Also because of the massive scale of the maps this time around you have been provided with Pipe tunnels that allowed you a sort of fast travel between areas. Even if you finished one area you could return to it to up the scale or search for better power ups.  Exploring has always been one of the funner parts to the Mario games and really this one is no different in that it do in that it does provide you with secret worlds, power ups, and paths to explore if you take the time to do it.

In truth it is a Mario game and really you get exactly what you would expect from it. While the new power ups are fun and the soundtrack to the game is cute. The title really says exactly what you are getting… A NEW MARIO GAME..Nothing more…Nothing less..


Observation 117

September 18th 2015

This was the first week that work felt normal. I managed to get everything I wanted to get done because the seasons changed and well work was at a normal pace. I wouldn’t say slow just yet but without question it was manageable. I have always found it interesting how people work in patterns it seems. During the summer everyone is rushing around to get as much relaxing and showing off as possible. The fall they sort of rush to set up for the Winter. The Winter everyone pretty much hibernates. Spring we reset again to get ready for the Summer.

Me personally I understand how it works but it sure does seem sort of structured and almost like people are being manipulated. Which in many ways I guess we are because of nature and so on. Yet that conversation has more to do with theory of the meaning of it all and so on.. “This isn’t the place for that”.

I don’t know maybe I am over thinking here a bit but I find the entire thing very interesting. As humans we like to believe that we have control and free thought to do whatever we like. However in the grand scheme of it all we always become very tied to the structure of “this is the time to work” and “this is the time to play”. I mean it’s true people really do live by what they feel is progression. We work as people and that becomes our meaning for the most part.  Whatever job we hold will structure how we eat, sleep, live, and place our emotions. Without work we pretty much live a life of chaos not knowing what to do with ourselves “short of trying to find a new job”.

Nature always wins I Suppose…hmm



SEPTEMBER bunch is here and never too late! LET’S GET STARTED!!

As always my sources!

Now before I GO ON! I should note that I only have a couple of places I get my comics from.. FIRST I Order em online AT


They have a good pre-order base and even a good just collection of pretty much everything related.. It’s a good organized website that you can set up a account on and make things SUPER easy to order on…

The Second place I manage to get meh stuff from .. is!


I am a big fan of the TWO locations midtown and upper east town Manhattan.. anyway! WITH THAT OUT OF THE is what I Got!!


21st Century Tank Girl # 3

Batman # 43 READ



Gotham Academy # 9

Harley Quinn # 19 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 7 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 8 READ

LOBO # 9


SPAWN # 255

SPAWN # 252


We Are Robin # 3 READ

Battle Chasers Collection # 1 – 9 READ “Digital Copies





So this is a very important issue if you ask me. It explains the come back of Bruce Wayne and why he isn’t Batman anymore. It also introduces MR.BLOOM..who if you ask me is a creepy MOTHER F@#%ER… Really this is a very important issue going forward and not one to skip!


Detective Comics # 43

This one picks up right after issue 42 and we come to find that the plot here is going into several directions. Batman “who is still not Bruce way but Gordon” is finding that his attackers are up to more than he expected. This issue also opens way to what is happening to Gotham City and it’s people…


Flash # 43

Here we are getting some answers and learning a great deal more about the plot and how it will effect The Flash in the future. Something tells me that a big underline is about to be revealed but it only seems to me that a hint hint hint is going to happen…SO curious what is going to happen next issue cause of this one…


The Conclusion to one problem and the start to the next. Harley continues to be amazing to me and yet I am finding that the next arc to come is going to reveal a bit more about our hero than this one. How this one ended was pretty funny and sort of unexpected!


Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 7

What really hits me with this series and really most of all this point in the series is how much the story really digs into the mythos of the DCU. It continues to be but and driving to read.. however the WHAT IF factor in this series is just overwhelmingly great…


Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 8

So it’s very clear at this point that Superman isn’t as all powerful as he thought he was. Many of his weaknesses are coming to a head and really hope…is …being …turned into .. I want to say lose but again.. it’s a uphill road with this one..


Mortal Kombat X # 9

What I am enjoying the most is that the game had lots of open questions. This comic is doing a great job of closing those questions. This issue in particular reveals more back story and explains why everything went down the way it did. Honestly I can’t wait to see how this will end…



Really every time I read the connections between the characters in this book I have to reflect on parts of my own life. It’s always got its ups and downs. This series continues to be very well written and so much fun to follow!


We are Robin # 3

ALL I WILL SAY ABOUT THIS ISSUE…Hard lessons learned… gotta read it!


Battle Chasers # 1 – 9

I became a big fan of Darksiders “The video game and series” a few years ago once it was released. This was a series I kept meaning to read because everyone was telling me..IF ya love Darksiders READ THIS SERIES… Honestly I Fell hard for this series to the point that I read all of issues 1 – 9 in about two days.. It’s fun.. and I have sooooo much more to say about it..BUT I Will do so in the future..probably under my VIDEO GAME SECTION… soon!


THIS …was…AMAZING.. While a very long read in terms of comic books. It was both fun and thrilling in that it takes the adventure of Batman and pushes it into different directions! I CAN’T WAIT TO PICK UP VOL 2



Honestly if the rest of this series is half as good.. I WILL BE VERY PLEASED… This is a MUST READ For anyone who loves the DCU..It’s funny, has good great drama too it..and is just…amazing!

I know I said I wasn’t going to write SHIIII online because I am working on meh book. Well I am still working on it but I FELT A NEED…to write something here… “I might be addicted to post stuff on here…damn”..
Anyway the last week has been rather stressful with a large amount of stuff happening that really wasn’t in my own control. Next week should be better but I think the thing that most bothers me is a big misconception most people I don’t think know about me because really I never talk about it. DEATH!!
The feeling of lose is something I personally have a very strange reaction with “compared to others I know”. Now when it comes to the topic of death a few other sub topics come up “Religion, Faith, and so on”. To start with I am the type of person who would never say anyone is wrong. You have your religion.. you have your faith.. good for you! Hell if you have a question for me about my own I am more open to conversation about anything then anyone on the planet. However with that in mind I have my own beliefs and faiths and really they are personal to me. You don’t agree with me I DON’T GIVE A FU@# and nothing you say or do can change that. I am without question one of those people that thinks into logic, facts, and what I have experienced in my life. It’s how I built my faith! It comes down to feelings also and the regard of what my own moral stance is for myself. So whatever I write past this point is really just my own judgments and reflections …OBSERVATION from the topic..
So yes lose to me becomes a matter of prospective. I don’t understand why people go to funerals and cry. I don’t understand why people say DEATH is the END. To me it’s just another part of the adventure of existence. To me everything is built of energy and what we feel “both physically and Emotionally” is forever. Everything has a balance in the world from what I have noticed. People are born and we have babies. People Die and that energy is transferred to other states of being. It’s how the universe works from every tiny tiny source of energy that can’t be seen by the human eye to every building block constructed. You can feel the energy around you and depending on the person you can even learn to manipulate it. Now of course all that sounds bizarre and so on..but I have in the past witnessed people do it and so yea..
My own ideas on death are that people live and people die but they are always and forever around us. Call it spirits, ghost, the soul..whatever.. it is a concept I have kept with for a long long time. So I am never upset really if someone should pass around me. I mean I hope everyone I know lives long and happy lives but it’s simply something a person can not control anyway. So GETTING BACK ON TOPIC..When it comes to my own life I have never feared death. I don’t like pain, I don’t like being miserable but I know it’s a part of life. It comes and goes the same with being happy. Like a coin flipped it has two sides. Rules of the universe say you can not have one without the other..positive and negative and really I see it in everything that passes me. So I have no fear of death and I Respect the nature of living.
So why the hell did this topic even come up? Well I keep thinking about what I want and really sort of mingled it’s way into my head.


117 Fear part 2

This  is one of those days that makes me reflect on what I fear the most. Losing everything I have.. It’s a normal fear and most people have it because like most people I feel love. I have great love for my family, my friend and of course all the little things I build upon. To lose it all would be strange if you ask me. Especially for it to happen in just a single day? People die and really it begs the universal question of what next? It’s scary and often I don’t fear it so much because I have the state of mind to say “I did everything I COULD do today… tomorrow is probably still coming”. Now what does any of this really have to do with love?

Showing you care is important to everyone. Not everyone can do it the same way so what we do as people each day is attempt to deal with both the physical bring me downs and the emotional. Emotionally right now I am GREAT.. I could of course ask for more but really I don’t think it could improve my happiness or my current state of mind. Here is a million dollars!! GO DO SOMETHING WITH IT!! Currently I am getting ready to go to work …starting a new work weekend is all that really is on my mind. Even with a million dollars I would still probably be doing what I am about to do right now.. WOULD IT CHANGE TOMORROW…PROBABLY… but in this moment.. I just gotta go to work.

I wake up every day knowing I have what I have because I want to have it. It’s a privilege that not many people happen to have. Some don’t even think about it because they just don’t take the time to do so. Personally I think it’s important to understand that part every time a person wakes up.  This is the point you are at as a person. You will love, hate, be sad, and happy because it’s all under the control of what actions  you take. Actions make it happen and those always start as thoughts.


I almost never get excited about Future games or Kickstarters projects. Fact is if it’s unknown to me if a game is good or not I normally wait for the game to come out, play it, and than make my judgement AFTER the fact. However something happened to me about 5 or so years ago during the PS3 era of consoles. A very special game was released and it had a very interesting impact on my view of adventure games. In 2010 the game DARKSIDERS would be released and well…to say the least it would become one of my favorite games and series on the ps3.

READ ABOUT MY VIEW OF IT HERE > videogamesalex


Darksiders which was created by Vigil Games and published by THQ would become something I would not only enjoy but sort of obsess over because of it’s art, game play and story. It mixed everything I loved about video games and made it it’s own taking from a bit of The Legend of Zelda, Portal, and a few others while adding a underlined adult theme to it’s flavor. While all that was really cool the main thing I walked away with was my own personal introduction to an artist by the name of

Joe Madureira

He and the team at Vigil struck something that would continue to be so awesome that a sequel would be released some 2 years later.

Read about that here >videogamesalex

Yea…so you could see my excitement for the series.. but even with all that greatness!! Something tragic would happen and Vigil Games along with THQ would sadly go under.. Now the good part about it all is that THE DARKSIDERS SERIES was purchased by another company NORDIC Games and while hopes for a Darksiders 3 is still on my mind.. my biggest question would remain.. what would happen to the artist Joe Madureira?

darksiders 2

As I tend to do with everything I obsess over I did some research and found out that JOE MAD “For short” hadn’t just been a video game creator but actually was a Comic Book creator before his rule over the Darksiders Universe. Fact is he created a series called BATTLE CHASERS!

battle-chasers-anthology < Link to web site!!

Now once I found this out naturally I wanted to get the books… but to my sadness again.. I FOUND that the actual books are RATHER EXPENSIVE… cause of collectors and so on… the only way I could get hold of the series was to find em DIGITALLY at

battle comic < Link to COMIC!!

The Only sad part to that story is I couldn’t physically have the comic.. but the underline to that was that I could get issues 1-9 “the only one’s released to date!” and I could read em RIGHT THEN AND NOW.. It took me all of 2 days to finish that the 9 books and I was very pleased with it…


The series was left in Comic Book LIMBO for awhile considering JOE MAD went off to do darksiders.. and THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!! However recently the series has been brought back in a big bad way but … CATCH to it is .. the game and the comic will only be brought back.. CURRENTLY PENDING.. THE KICKSTARTER PROJECT!!


Currently… “as I write this” IT’S ALMOST ACCOMPLISHED.. And hopes to be the best of two things…!

A REALLY GREAT COMIC BOOK SERIES… and a OLD SCHOOL JRPG similar to that of OLD SCHOOL CLASSIC GAMES LIKE Final Fantasy 1-3 “IN America”,Chrono Trigger…etc…

The idea alone to me sounds great.. and the project still has 30 days to go.. MY HOPES ARE IT WILL BE DONE BY TOMORROW.. but who can really say? At this point…only time will tell!! SO GO SUPPORT IT.. IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT GAME IF WE ALL HOPE FOR IT AND FUND IT!!!




I don’t know what the deal with Nuclear Blast America Record company but I know I love em for sending out the CD’s before the release date! Not really much of a pre date.. today is the 4th and the record doesn’t hit stores till the 7th! Either way I am pretty happy with the result!

So I ordered the cd with the 3 songs released on the net previously in mind. I wasn’t really sure what direction the band was going to go in because really the three songs I heard sounded REALLY GOOD..but with a Fear Factory Record you can never really tell what you will get. I have written about my love for this band before keep in mind…

So what did I think of this new album? GENEXUS…

Well it follows suit lyrically with the entire MAN VS MACHINE concept.. Diving into more of that universe which is something I continue to admire from the band. Very cool to see that the thought continues down the same theme and continues to remain fresh and fun to listen too.

This album however I found had a much more Energetic, organic feel too it then most of the previous albums. Something about the way everything was put together sounds very mature and very much like the band was trying to create something different rather then follow suit with just hard blast beats and loud long guitar riffs. Not that I think anything is wrong with that but this sounds very experimental compared to the other albums.

Which if you ask me is a GREAT THING to bring to this band. It opens avenues for future sounds and really proves that the band is without question Timeless. It’s a band that does continue to do great things musically and if you asked me how I felt about this recent album I would say it holds the feel that I have to listen to it from start to finish. It’s hard to pick a favorite song on the album as really listening to it I find it’s sort of a adventure in sound to just listen to the entire thing over and over.

Observation 116

August 26, 2015

The summer is almost done “THANK THE GODS!”. Starting this week most of the students will return to college. Workers will get back on the grind and I will return to my normal routine of work “THANK THE GODS!!”. It has been a progressive Summer in terms of business. I know the company seen a good share of sales from our end at least. This also makes me think about how the coming seasons will progress.

Will it be a hellish Fall and Winter? Will we survive IT AGAIN!!!? We always do so really this is a bit of a dramatic question. Yet here we are and my mind can’t help but think about the future. I have given a great deal of thought to what I want to happen. For the most part I think it will all pan out very well. Yet I am left to question the possibilities.

Any number of things could happen in the coming months. Yet I know from looking back that things will calm down around here. My life will become more aggressive “creatively” and I should manage to focus more on my own ideas. It’s funny to me how the pace hits a slow down because of the weather. Maybe it has something to do with the nature of life in general? I can’t really say but I know that it happens EVERY YEAR. Perhaps it’s just something to think about…hmmm



116 Fear part 1

Fear is a important part of love. Without it the very idea of love can on some levels become meaningless. It’s uncontrolled emotion at its best because it will cause every to be brave or to be scared. I have always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. Saying you love someone is important but showing you love that person thru self improvement is by far the best way you can express it.  Yet with a fearful mind we tend to break down the simple things to the most complicated.

A kiss for example becomes very meaningful if done in the context of showing that the expression means more to push a person past fear and past ego. Every first kiss I have ever had was something I feared doing because it showed just how much I wanted that person to know how much that person meant to me. Contact in general has always been something that I have felt bonds a person to another. You can read energy, emotion, and state of mind from a hand shake, a hug, or even the right glance. A person can give a true sense of state of mind with the right amount of fear or shyness in some cases.

Reading emotions is a complicated thing and isn’t something most people learn to do quickly. It is something you pick up and understand with time with each and every person you come in contact with. Comfort is what drives it in most cases. It makes lovers ..lovers..and best friends the best! Cause understanding one another and how to deal with those states of mind bring everyone closer together..

Alien Isolation… 08/21/2015


I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this game. I knew going in it was a first person/Horror game and really from what EVERYONE I knew was saying it was pretty cool so with very little detail to it.. I was curious!? Anyway I started it and it took me A GREAT DEAL LONGER..than I thought it would to finish it. So…here…we…go..

Alien: Isolation™_20150805200346

Alien: Isolation™_20150805200346

To begin with the game starts out simple and really is EASY to learn. For the most part you walk around searching for items to help you progress. The details to what is happening in the game for the most part is what causes it too carry the charm it is given. You will feel the isolation “hence the title” and it really does hold a old sci fi feel to how everything is planned out. Being VERY Respectful to the first Alien Film the game sounds and is visual to the same concepts “considering that was the source”.

Alien: Isolation™_20150805194517

Alien: Isolation™_20150805194517

In terms of horror the game plays itself as a DON’T BE SEEN aspect. Don’t make a sound, Don’t even breath!! Something will hunt you down and kill you and chances are it will be AN ALIEN! It’s both fun and frustrating because you find yourself looking around areas for places to hide and finding ammo is almost impossible to do. You are given weapons but must learn to use em VERY VERY VERY RARELY. Hiding is really the goal to the game. So you progress a bit..hide..hide..hide… progress a bit… Which is probably why it took me so long to finish this game.

Alien: Isolation™_20150805190149

Alien: Isolation™_20150805190149

Aliens aren’t the only thing you will run into with this game. The ship you are placed on is MASSIVE yet easy enough to figure out and most of the time you will use the map to find the places you need to be. REALLY.. it wasn’t a bad game just ..kinda.. long.. fun and respectful to the source. Was it scary? Sometimes!!! It was really fun to walk around the world given. It told a very good story and was well worth the price which was less than 20 bucks… So why not!?



AUGUST bunch is here and never too late! LET’S GET STARTED!!

As always my sources!

Now before I GO ON! I should note that I only have a couple of places I get my comics from.. FIRST I Order em online AT


They have a good pre-order base and even a good just collection of pretty much everything related.. It’s a good organized website that you can set up a account on and make things SUPER easy to order on…

The Second place I manage to get meh stuff from .. is!


I am a big fan of the TWO locations midtown and upper east town Manhattan.. anyway! WITH THAT OUT OF THE is what I Got!!


21st Century Tank Girl #2

Batman # 42 READ


Gotham Academy # 8

Harley Quinn # 18

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 5 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 6 READ


SPAWN # 254

Tarot Witch of the Black Rose # 93 READ

WitchBlade # 183



Continuing from issue 41 we find that batman continues to have issue with …being …BATMAN. However this issue had a surprise ending to it I DIDN’T see coming “Always great!!”. Regardless of all that it’s a fun issue and it begs to answer some questions..but RAISES SOME MORE?


Flash # 42

Also Continuing from issue 41 WE find the Flash looking for answers about his father but also in a state of complete surprise. Someone is pulling the strings and the Flash has no idea how bad it’s about to get for him! This was a fun introduction to things to come!


Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 5

The fight begins! Superman fights Wonder Woman!! WHO WILL WIN!! Well considering this all takes place before the game we all know…No one wins but I will say…It’s a good fight! How could all this conclude becomes the question? A very interesting twist is placed in this issue!


Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 6

The cover tells a little but for the most part you are left with more questions in this issue than answers. This issue is a turning point and yet I question now what direction we are going in this series?


Maxx Maxximized Volume 4.

I have read all of the Volumes up until this point. So far this series continues to be an amazing peace of artwork alone. Story telling wise it’s interesting and probably one of the most original works I HAVE ever read. Maxx is fun!! and anyone looking for a good story should look into it!


Tarot witch of the black rose # 93

Starting off seconds after issue 92. This one is actually a important issue because of the things it reveals. Many characters are touched upon and it has a REALLY GOOD ENDING.




This post has actually changed twice. The first time I wrote it I wanted to explain the differences between Republicans and Democrats. However upon trying to define that I found each branch had different methods of explaining itself. This lead to me almost writing a story of two different fictional worlds. One world in which the Republicans managed to get everything they wanted and the Second the Democrats. It was at this point after having finished one story that I came to the conclusion I COULD potentially write a really really long story about it and perhaps this isn’t the best place to tell that story.

So really what I needed to do was figure out what exactly am I trying to understand with this Post? Does it in fact really matter what the differences are? Is it all really just a question of opinion or morality? Upon trying to get the first answer I came to understand that I wanted facts about the way people view the world. What I found was that Republicans tend to give a great deal more credit to humanity than Democrats.  This is also a delusional state of mind if you ask me because it’s also pending on the idea that people live some sort of preset course of life. Meaning it’s in the state of mind that everyone can do everything perfectly without anything ever bothering anyone because that’s how “blank” did it. Sort of like saying you will be without question born into a good family, you will pass grades 1 -12 go to a good 4 year college and work whatever job. Then you will take the money you are given at a high pay and pass it down to those working the way up.

I give credit to humanity but not that much… Call me Cynical but I have seen how most people view other people with less than what they have and I don’t believe it will ever work that way. People are mostly focused on getting from A to B without be bothered by C and D. Democrats however made it a point to out that if you give people the chance with support from our government it will pay off. However it’s a really twisted state of mind because in that statement alone you have to define what is CHANCE and not just SUPPORT.

I do however believe that is what potentially is the best way to go about things BECAUSE it comes up with the most production across all fields of life. Now I Really believe the best way to do it is to mix the two however the arguments will become more problematic because not everyone chooses to go in one path. As a matter a fact people get comfortable and really it becomes more of an issue than it should.

So in conclusion I will in fact be writing about two fictional worlds at some point and with it explaining the Morality and Opinion state of mind that comes with both worlds. As soon as I am done with my first book on Common Sense which …who knows…if that will ever happen… Either way.. it’s interesting research!
comic Reflections

So what is “Comic Reflections” all about?

The idea here is to talk about characters, plots, spoilers, my feelings, and so on around the comic books I LOVE! Most of the comics in this section are older comics. IF IT’S SOMETHING NEW-ISH “As in within the last year or so” I will post a RECENT tag for it like this!


Short of that you read it at you’re own risk because I will compare and sometimes talk about different books… so over all it’s a one man discussion! WITH THE WELCOME OF ANYONE’S QUESTIONS AND POINTS OF VIEW!!?



So the best place to start  would be at the beginning right? Comic books really have been in my life since before I was even born. My older Brother and my Uncle “on my fathers side” had been collecting comics since forever in my life. Honestly I don’t remember a time that my brother didn’t collect books. I remember living in Staten Island and seeing my brother in his room with comic books spread all over his floor because he was trying to organize em. Now I was very young at the time and really I had the biggest issues learning how to read. It really took me forever to get down the concept of it and to pick it up. So comic books or really books in general weren’t something I seen as entertainment till I got much older. Being young reading was work so I avoided it but it was always in the background.

My uncle had these amazing statues all over his home of comic book characters he enjoyed and admired. Some of em he painted himself and in all honesty every time I came over his home I would look at them and be in complete awe at the level of detail. However funny thinking back on that now I never really questioned who most of the characters were?

Like some of the statues I knew about like Batman, the terminator, Aliens and Predators..but I knew them because of the films and Television shows. I knew at the time that people wrote comics about the characters but I never thought it was as detailed as the films. Really I didn’t think much about comics at all because again… I HATED READING.

Jump a few years to Jr.High and like so many things in my life I would find out that a comic book shop was around the corner from the very place I lived at. Now again my biggest interest wasn’t comic books… it was mostly video games. So If I went to the comic book shop it was to find anything related to that.


I would collect Street Fighter 2 comics, Mortal Kombat Comics…mostly anything related to that. If it be toys or anything like that..HOWEVER.. 1997 would release a film that would slightly change my point of view…

Spawn was the first really relative comic book that FORCED me to go to the comic stores again. Yet again.. it wasn’t so much the comics I paid attention to as much as it was the comics, the toys, and some of the myths that went with it. Really when I think back on it spawn is probably the first character that wasn’t related to a video game, or television that really made me want to understand comics.  Yet again my interest.. was just dim… not yet light …YET!

So we jump again… some 10 years later… 2007… and here I am living in West Allis, Wisconsin. I remember being at the Laundromat and picking up one of the local News papers “can’t remember the name of it” but it had an article in it about how DC was about to kill off Batman in a series called “THE FINAL CRISIS” . So the idea for whatever the reason struck a cord with me and across the street from the laundromat was A COMIC STORE!!


Collector’s Edge Comics would be the first comic book shop I would walk into in almost 10 years with the intentions of buying a comic book. Of course I would come to find that the FINAL Crisis wasn’t just one book but it was a on going arch in the Dc Universe. Now of course the store was covered in comic books that I would be like….wow..that’s cool! that’s COOL!! COOOLLLL!! So naturally I would buy more than just that series. It would become sort of a hobby which is exactly what it remains today… HOWEVER.. as life would have it be I didn’t find all my comics in this one shop!! I would come to find that a larger spot would be not to far also…


This place Lost World would also be another shop I would go to and it was larger and had more comics to explore in and out of. I would find my love of comic just kept growing and growing.. yet again… things would change.. and I would be forced to LEAVE Wisconsin and return back to New York. However with this change I came to find that my interest in comics needed to continue to grow. So once I managed to get myself all settled I needed to find NEW SHOPS… which was sort of grim…

The area I live at now doesn’t have a comic book shop even remotely close to it.. So I would be forced to look online and pay the sad price of shipping and handling..

The first comic shop I went with was

In terms of exploring it’s a really really basic web site. It has a great data base for searching for old and new comics but it doesn’t have much show for exploring. Mostly text and some images but nothing really flashy.. So for awhile I would buy comics from that site. I would explore other web sites like DCU, Image, Marvel and so on just to get some more ideas and dig myself a deeper hole into the Comic book Universe. However with all that exploring I would find my MONTHLY  shop that I go to the most now online which is ..


I order from TFAW every month and it has a good system that allows me to keep track of my orders “both past and present”. So…that is pretty much the spot I am at right now..

Observation 115

JULY 18TH 2015

I am all for the idea of being entertained. Many of the things that entertain me are violent, morbid and sometimes a bit disturbing but always underlined with good stories to keep it contained. However what I find truly disturbing to me today is that the place I call home “America” is about to head in a direction that truly makes all of the stuff I find entertaining VERY VERY FREIGHTING. Truth is to it all that type of stuff never scared me. What does scare me is people who will vote for someone like Donald Trump. Educated people who not only have open minds but have good states of thought.

Now while I have had no problem in the past voicing my opinion on said things. I will say we need to understand the idea behind FICTION AND REALITY. Fiction is represented by an idea that everything is made up to Entertain. If we google the definition we will find this…

  1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, especially in prose form. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction. something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story:

REALITY is what we deal with every day. Paying bills, raising children and trying to survive day by day. What I am trying to get at right now is that most of what you will see on your television is ENTERTAINMENT. Media while it sometimes covers facts more often than not attempts to keep you glued to the screen with little to no purpose short of gaining ratings that keeps it running. If you don’t spend the time watching it it doesn’t make it’s money. If people wanted understand real issues like poverty, education and the economics of our surrounding area it really doesn’t take much to figure it short of opening the doors you have.

Personally I have seen on my own time a rise of drugs, homeless, and uneducated minds. Now this is a cause for concern because we are going to now vote for someone because that person is good at entertaining but shows absolutely no drive or message for anything that shows leadership AT ALL. Truth be told I am not that shocked by this rise of vote for the entertaining guy because I look around at the world and I see what we are doing. Reality TV is funny! More people know who Kim is rather than Gandhi and if you showed a younger person a picture of Gandhi at this point that would probably point and say HE’S A TERRORIST.

It truly frightens me to think about the future we are headed towards. Book stores close down and no one takes notice. Sports stores open in the same place and everyone thinks WOW THAT’S A GOOD IDEA! I don’t know what the future will hold but me personally I think it’s time to start beating the dumb and someone needs to TAKE THE REMOTES AWAY!



JULY bunch is here and never too late! LET’S GET STARTED!!

As always my sources!

Now before I GO ON! I should note that I only have a couple of places I get my comics from.. FIRST I Order em online AT


They have a good pre-order base and even a good just collection of pretty much everything related.. It’s a good organized website that you can set up a account on and make things SUPER easy to order on…

The Second place I manage to get meh stuff from .. is!


I am a big fan of the TWO locations midtown and upper east town Manhattan.. anyway! WITH THAT OUT OF THE is what I Got!!


21st Century Tank Girl # 1

Batman # 41 READ

Detective Comics # 41

Detective Comics # 42

Flash # 41

Gotham Academy # 7

Green Lantern # 42

Harley Quinn # 17 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 3 READ

Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 4 READ

Lobo # 8

Mortal Kombat X # 8 READ

Spawn # 253

We are Robin # 1

We are Robin # 2

Batman Hush READ



At this point if you haven’t read the last arc for this series you will be completely lost as to what happened to batman? I don’t like to spoil things but to say that a new batman is in the suit of this “comic cover” machine type of batman wouldn’t be out of this world. Someone very important is now batman “that isn’t Bruce” and the questions are being raised as to what the future will be like for Gotham?


Harley Quinn # 17

Continuing from issue 16 Harley has her team set up. Now in this issue she is dealing with the authority properties to having the team. Will the city accept her plan? What can be done to stop them if it doesn’t? This issue held a good mixture of humor and drama to it.. honestly it still have yet to read a single issue of this comic book series that I didn’t really really enjoy..JUST PERFECT!


Injustice Gods Among Us Year Four # 3

So this issue you can start to see the set up for the game happening. Little hints to how it all concludes are being hinted at. Really the plot is becoming very driving and while you know how it ends “if you played the game”. Lots of the details are being pushed.


Injustice Gods Among Us year four # 4

This issue had a good twist and to me felt more like a action ride. Lots to pick up on the underline here but it also details some very interesting points between the relationship of batman and superman.


Mortal Kombat X # 8

Picks up right after issue 7 and goes into some very interesting details with Scorpions and Raidens Relationship. Several very important details come out in this book that really make me look at the game and think…well that explains why Raiden and Scorpion had a background… Pretty cool book!


BATMAN HUSH (graphic Novel)

Everyone I know who knows I read batman has been telling me “YOU NEED TO READ HUSH!”. I kept putting it on the back of my list until recently I managed to get a copy of the book and I must say it was worth it. I pretty much managed to read it in the span of 2 days and was in love with the book from just looking at the artwork. The story is very driving, well written, and fun. It has twists turns and lots of good points to be made about the character of Batman and some of his relationships. Over all if anyone says they are a BATMAN Fan AND they haven’t read HUSH… GIve them the book …THEY WILL BE PLEASED!


115 Emotionally letting go!

What is it to say you love someone? Letting someone into your heart and letting them understand your state of mind is both one of the best things you can do for someone and the worst. It can feel like the best feeling in the world or the worst if “Betrayed”. Which is why we have web sites that give you 100 questions to find that TRUE ONE AND ONLY!..

Personally I always thought a good conversation can tell you enough about a person. However I have questioned if any of those sites worked? Do we as humans really stand up and say “this is the only answer I can come up with” and choose to stand behind that ONE answer our entire lives?…Probably not…

However Emotionally letting go is one of the things that make it all come down to working. At least from what I have to understand with the topic. Take for example the way you treat and are being treated by the one’s you call siblings. Both the young and the old! On some levels your siblings will know you better emotionally then most anyone close too you. Why? Cause they grew up with you and understand if you are PISSED OFF..or OVER JOYED!

Now getting back on topic. Upon getting to know someone this is really a lesson that no quick way of understanding it can apply. It takes time to get comfortable with that emotional connection. It doesn’t just happen over night and really it’s probably the one part of relationships that is also the most difficult to over come. People without question are built on chemical reactions that change upon action and reaction. If you are having a shit day and you come home to someone who wants to make things feel better YOU TEND TO RESPOND WELL to that!

However what I am seeing recently is that most people don’t know how to react to it or just ignore the state of mind. Sure she/he came home pissed..but what did you do to make it better for him/her? Why are you even with the person if that person has nothing to give that can over come or over whelm the bad feelings? Personally I know exactly why I am in the long relationship I am in and for the most part it’s because I know that I can come home to someone who is going to help me with my state of mind. She sees the best in me and continues to tell me “you are smarter then that.. don’t let it bother you.” OR “You are better and have every reason to feel the way you do”.

Some of it can come down to comfort but most of it I comes down to a state of mind. It comes down to the concept that everyone every so often could use a bit of a push in the right direction.



Facebook has become a big problem. I understand the concept of social networks and how they read into the positive ends of keeping in contact with loved ones and getting to know people better. However that last part I really need to question. Are we really getting to know people or are we showing this evil end of I AM RIGHT you are WRONG.

I am leaving facebook in 24 hours because I can’t stand the news feed anymore and the epic ego battle that it brings to people. I started it to keep track of people but the more I did that the more I notice how sick they make me feel. Opinions are good but when you start to feed the world violence upon bullshit upon ignorance Facebook becomes the opposite of what it was designed to do. It becomes a conduit for hate and the uneducated. I CAN’T SUPPORT THAT.

Currently I have started a instagram which will keep my love for kitten pictures, and silly shit in check. Twitter will provide me with news and honestly most of these post get the most traction from that.

So let this be my love letter good bye to facebook and make note that while I know personally I AM IMPORTANT.. If you need me you can always leave the machine and find me by e-mail, snail mail, or just finding me on the street…!


July 16th, 2015 12:12 a.m.

I started this writing stuff because I wanted a place to put my brains. It grew from just the posts “observations” to my site “” and I have been trying to figure out how to do this. In the next year I will be expanding and consolidating much of the writing to just ONE site as opposed to 5 or 6 separate sites. So I will cover everything on one stream site which will cover my opinions on future games, news, music, and so on.


Regardless of all that I have been trying for over a month to write about a few things that I simply haven’t had the time to do. Which is a true statement and a lie at the same time because any time I do have the time to write it I SIMPLY CAN’T FOCUS! The weather has changed to the point that it doesn’t get dark until 9:00 p.m. and it starts to get light at 4:30 a.m. My sleeping habits are REALLY REALLY BAD. On top of that I have had to change my eating habits because of a bad medical thing that isn’t serious but annoying! Either way lots of things have happened on to top it all I TURNED 32…THANK YOU… Thank you..

So let’s get to it? What have I observed lately? Short of the typical stuff “I.Qs going down” the summer has started and people are out which makes my job “at night” difficult. I work the weekends and with that I work ALONE. I deal with everyone being out and about; drunk and high. It’s difficult to say exactly how I manage to do it but I do. It raises my stress which is then countered by coming home to my girlfriend who lowers my stress. I think part of me understands that is how being a adult works. You deal with all the problems and learn to coop with it.

Work becomes motivated by setting small goals that keep you wanting to move on a emotional level. For example I go to work and I do my job to pay for my home, comic books, food, girlfriend, and so on. Things that keep me wanting to push for more and things that I do to consume a part of my time for entertainment and to release stress. Much like a cycle that feeds on itself.

Regardless of all that people come out during the summer to enjoy the outside activities that surround them. Going to the beach, entertainment parks, movies, shows and so on. It’s all on the table for about two or three months because the weather is just comfortable enough to make it happen. So while I am given time to think about pretty much all of this activity I am also given time to relax and write what I can.



If you are doing ems, teaching or anything with high risk and the only concern you have now is that someone who works fast food is making more then you now… You are an asshole…not because you are comparing jobs but because you got into it for money! I don’t know the number of lazy piece of shit drug addicted selfish pricks come to the top of my head that lay claim to said jobs but I know MANY!

If your a teacher yes you should get paid for it but the only thing you should really ever concern yourself with is the grades you are producing for our youth. Priority should always be the students and not how much money someone else is making. Good teachers are ones that teach because they get something from it personally not financially and I know lots of teachers that have that shit backwards.

If you are a police officer or work for any government agency at all “and I know MANY” you already know the quality of work coming from those that do it for the money. Anyone who wants to concern that state of mind to why they are doing the job should really think about why they got into the field. Most good people the ones that work hard know that no matter how hard they work they will never make a satisfying amount of pay because it’s in their nature to push beyond the hours and beyond that pay. It’s something they do because no one else will work that hard for the people that value the effort.

In a few years I already know its all going to be automated anyway. Soon it will be just engineers and computer programmers. While those that help to support others will be doing it because they want to not because of some paycheck they believe they should be getting. Far to many minds like that and I find it sickening that this is what it has come down too.

Observation 113

May 17, 2015 at 1:46pm

So I took the week off work as sort of a short “Vacation” as it is being titled by my job. I did take a short time to relax and get away from work but mostly I spent the week studying Computer code. I was starting to feel the walls come in on me as it was a cycle of ” Come home from work, sleep, wake up (do some stuff), sleep again, go back to work”. This I guess is the adult cycle as untold by any teachers or really anyone for that matter. I mean sure you are always told at a young age “Enjoy School while you are in it” but no one really says why?

The grind as some call it becomes a matter of working for money to support yourself/enjoy yourself/try to Progress in between. So for the most part I wanted to just progress myself this week with learning something new I hadn’t put much thought into. I wanted to open doors that I knew nothing about and for the most part I feel successful about it all. I started my journey into the great world of computer programming and web design. So I will continue to do it in my spare time as of tonight I return to the cycle.

However I question “which brings me to the observation” should it really feel like a cycle? Is that really what being a adult is? You work…sleep…do what you can to stay civilized…and sleep..repeat..? I like the feeling of progression and as I am getting older I notice I loss that more and more. Maybe it’s my job? Perhaps it’s because I should return to School? I am not really sure what it is but it always feels like I am running up a hill that I can’t get to the top of.  I want to explore more but I want to keep myself stable which I suppose will only happen with a better job?

Maybe it’s because I don’t think things are moving fast enough for me? Lots of questions but really no answers….perhaps it’s something I should just think over.

Observation 112

I haven’t written an Observation in awhile. The past month has been full of writing just nothing here. I have been writing two fictional stories and a stupid blog that I have been just random about. Regardless I have as one always does been observing things around me. Mostly about age …or aging I am finding some interesting details come up or to mind recently.  Both the positive and the Negative ends of aging are becoming clearer as the days go by. I find that I am set in my ways now being 31 going on 32 “in a couple of months” and that I am still open to pretty much everything but don’t understand most of it.

Take for example Music. I love the music I love however if I hear something new 9 times out of 10 it sounds like something I have already heard just readjusted or remixed “as it is”. Perhaps Creativity is gone or perhaps it’s just I am stuck in a loop hole of what I am us to hearing. Really this example can be spread across several entertainment ideas but it shines best with Music.  While I love the idea of seeing updated movies, or rebooted series a part of me always comes to that place that I question “why not something original?”

In the current state of things with the Economy I can see why risking art or investing in work that is unsure to work can be a problem. This is also why companies invest in what they know will work. What they know works is what works and copying it is guaranteed to give a percent of that. This is why we have 6 Lord of the Rings Movies which was based on a 4 book story. Also why we are getting another 3 Star Wars films and of course Another Terminator Film. While I look forward to the Terminator film and maybe the next three Star Wars films the idea still bothers me that another series by an unknown person will never come to be as good as the base concepts. I also think that is why I am working on the two ficional Stories I am ” like how I circled this one ?”.

I guess it’s a matter of interest also. I have interest in hearing the New Wu Tang album because I enjoyed the albums before it. Same goes for Video games.. I REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT MORTAL KOMBAT game because the one’s before it had been great. I Can say the same for most of my interest. Comic books became something new to me about seven years ago. While Comics had been around since forever and really my brother had a big interest in them I never took to em till I read an article while living in Wisconsin about the Death of Batman. Now I had a love for Batman in movies, tv shows, and cartoons but never showed any interest into the comics till that newspaper. It was all new to me and I welcomed the world it would bring me in. Now here we are in 2015 and I have currently because of that interest every single issue of “New 52” Batman, Green Lantern, Detective Comics, and Flash to date. Of course my collection is larger then that and I love mostly DC comics at this point but it’s all been new to me.  It’s better then tv and it bring me out of video games which really “as I age” I am growing tired of. For awhile I was reading books “like actual books” but I have come to find that I am very picky about books and if I don’t find the topics or the characters interesting I STRAY… QUICKLY…

Mostly I read books now for Conversation peaces or because the stories are just too cool to pass up. I almost never read anything that’s over hyped because chances are the source material is based on something more ORIGINAL. Wouldn’t have any vampire Novels without a history book on Vlad the Impaler. So yea .. I tend to stray from most of that stuff.. but straying doesn’t mean I close doors. It just means I catch interest quicker. It is what it is I guess but regardless of all that things are moving along and like my age.. I will only tolerate so much and yes the older I get the less I will tolerate… interesting thing to notice…

Observation 111

 Aging is a tricky thing in life. It sort of sneaks up on you and normally you don’t notice it is happening at all unless you leave something be for a long time and come back to it. This can be done on many different levels. Reading an old book, watching an old movie, or even visiting a place you would spend a ton of time at. Now I am not saying I spent a ton of time at the place I am going to describe but I did work at a mall for awhile so to see what I did yesterday was a bit disturbing.

Now I have always known that the world around me is changing but the question at had becomes in what ways? Does any of it’s change really effect me? More so what exactly has changed? To answer any of the questions I have at hand the first thing that must happen is a bit of science/History. We as people build “it’s what we have always done” and more so people are naturally simplistic We want to do things at a progressive pace but we also don’t want to kill ourselves to much trying to get simple things done. This is why we built machines to begin with. From something as simple as pulling rope we have found that engineering is probably the best way to construct pretty much everything we do in comfort. Now rope of course is more comfortable than holding rocks on your back. Yet to that we have advanced a great deal since that.

Muscle strength can not compare to the power of a wrecking ball.  Again this is Engineering at it’s best! This was all necessary in terms of the steps that needed to be done for both comfort and progression. So let’s move to today and think for a moment what is easier now as opposed to what was? What comfort became necessary and what we determine to be less important?… less …important

This is the part that disturbs me the most. So humanity reaches a level of comfort and accepts that it’s working at a progressive/speedy rate. Today we can build entire homes in days rather than weeks. We can contact one another at speeds faster then any motion could ever reach. We build cars in manufacturing factories. Machines building machines which make hand motions obsolete because the chips and pieces are so exact it’s almost impossible to do by hand. It’s a wonder of true human engineering.


So what could go wrong? What could possibly happen that would make all of this turn for lack of a better term “to shit”. You take things like art, construction, engineering, and Science but you add something sinister like politics and of course economics.  Now of course you take the two things that LOGICALLY make sense. People need to feel motivated and like it’s the right thing to do. Both Politics and Economics are built on that principle but of course principle isn’t everything. Greed, Right of faith and of course lack of education bring about BIG PROBLEMS.

Consider to be the start of one of the biggest problems humanity has. It all sort of accord to me yesterday while visiting a mall “I haven’t been to a mall in years”. The fact of the matter is this.. I us to go to places like malls and shopping centers to pick up things like Books, Movies, Music, Artwork, Video Games, and anything along the lines of Entertainment and Creative thinking. Problem was it was all gone…

The lines of clothing stores filled the mall. Places that would other wise sell books, artwork and Entertainment had all gone away. The closest thing to comfort becomes places that sell cellphone covers and the latest and greatest tablets. Now it should have accord to me that it would all go this way. Considering the fact that music is now “data”. Movies you can stream on a cell phone “data”. Artwork has become modern architects of furniture and lost all it’s meaning without it’s price behind it.  Fashion which at one point was a way to express who you are is now simply a brand of who you are.

Thinking back on everything it is funny I didn’t see it coming. You buy clothing that has a label and based on not the quality but the label is what your going to pay the price for. Take for example any label branded shoe. You aren’t getting a better quality just a brand name for the price. I have seen cheaply made name brand crap on the plenty.

It frightened me to think about a future that held the possibility or very real reality that young men and women will never know what it’s like to explore books, artwork, music, and grow up with the very real options to explore. True we refined the experience to web sites, applications and data but was this a good thing?

I walked around that mall looking for something of interest. Something to scream at me that would say “Come in we have something new to show you!”. Something that would get me OUT OF THE DAMNED CELL PHONE. Yet even while we ate at the food court I found that people didn’t talk to each other. They ate but they sat and stared into the cellphones.

I have always had a true fear that Machines would take over the world at some point. I have no question that this has happened. Not exactly like the way the movie the terminator explained it would. It happened in a far more frightening way… we welcomed the take over..

Are we smarter?… for the first time in a long time.. i don’t know.. honestly I thought it was just common sense that was lacking.. yet now… I wonder…

Observation 110

It’s hard to write a good story… For the last 3 years I have been writing a story in the form of a comic book called Kainless. I hadn’t really done much with it short of write out all the content, provide some artwork from not only myself but artist such as Megan Sinclair (my girlfriend) and another artist who goes by the tag ice cream mouth (who can be found at this link : So far I have done 3 Seasons of it now entering the 4th season and really sort of built up this imaginary world I live in. The first season was simple.. I for the most part wanted to make fun of my current that was really.. me just being silly. Second season I took the comic back a few years with the intention of telling a story. Some of the story would become based on real life events..and some COMPLETELY MADE UP.. but in order for me to make this story both possible and hide the real people in it I had to build up a world and a cast of characters. Second season provided the cast.. third provided the world.. I focused very much on building a interesting cast of carnival characters with the second season. Third season took those characters and explained the horrific world that they lived in. A carnival that allowed it’s guest to arrive and DIE… but come back from Hells Waiting room..only to repeat or leave the park and go on with life..

So the basic idea of the world and it’s characters have been set and tomorrow I will be starting Season 4.. Which really is going to be the start of the actual story I will be writing and doing the art for. To begin with it is a really hard thing to tell a story like this. Most of it is going to be about 80% made up and really will focus around the thoughts of the main character Kainless. The other 20% is going to come from other places and times that I think are interesting. As I am writing this I am finding it interesting how I remember things. How some parts make me think…”wow I remember that..but let me write it like this to keep it interesting”..

It’s going to be a journey for the most part and really I don’t want anyone to take to much from it. Trust that most of it is fictional and all of it is just being created to make you think as a reader… Hope everyone enjoys it!

Observation 109

January 18, 2015 at 11:37am

The First question will be how do I feel? This is the first question that any person on the planet will have. From the start you go on to NEW everything. You start life comfortable and go to uncomfortable in 0.1 seconds. We know this because we know emotions and how life begins. Babies in the mothers for the first 9 months of birth rest and are over all comfortable with that starting situation. Take it out after the 9 months and the first thing that “is supposed” to happen is the baby cry’s and clears it’s lungs. How and at what point you consider it starts is really a opinion  with no current answer. Faith is born with life and thought.

So we survive and we find that to be smart is to do everything we must to be comfortable. Being smart is taking previous FACT and using it to advance. How does one become advanced? One becomes advanced by taking something UNCOMFORTABLE and making it Comfortable. So humanity as it is and has always been makes for doing what it can with what it has. We have always had people during any state of time who will in fact NOT care for reason but in that same state we have always had people Who care and think to much FOR IT. I believe “and this is my opinion” if you took a philosopher from today and put that person in a room with a past Philosopher you will in fact find that the one from today will be more in advanced by theory because the one from today has more knowledge than the one from the past.

So in conclusion to the question to be smart for a SINGLE person is not the same as being smart as a group. Cause comfort is based on the opinion and we all chase it in different ways. However that opinion is why we do what we do and to say I am right and you are wrong in itself is something that can not be proven unless fact is grounded to say it is. With opinion you have no ground for Fact because it’s bases is all Emotional.

I will tell a short story here to make my point. Two guys challenge each other Today. The challenge is for the two guys to take a trip into the woods and see who gets out first from Point A to point Z. Lets just say for kicks Point A is 0 and Z is 100 miles away.

The First guy trains hard, and gathers supplies he feels he will need to make the trip. The SECOND guy doesn’t do any of that as a matter a fact he makes ONE trip to get supplies and waits. On the day of the trip the First guy looks at the Second guy and asks are you ready? Second guy replies “Yeap…”. So The First guy starts to walk while the Second guy just stands still. The first guy watches the second guy and just questions why is he standing still? Is he mad? Clearly the challenge of getting from POINT A TO POINT Z already has the first guys confidence boosted. The second guy continues to wait till the first guy is miles away and can’t see him. Then.. the second guy pulls out a cell phone from his pocket. Calls a local state trooper to give him a lift from point A to Point Z.  They both make it to point z but the question now becomes… Who was smarter?

observation 108

This will be the last post for 2014. Tonight I will be working my job I have now held back for almost 5 years. This year will also be the first COMPLETE year that I have worked in the NEW STORE. Which honestly since it’s reopening hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I would like to note a few things about this year that I think will likely effect the coming year. To begin with 2014 was a VERY progressive year for my writing. I wanted this year to be a big focus on that and over all I can say I have hit points that I am proud of in terms of what I plan to do with all this writing. I wanted to start school in 2014 but it just didn’t happen the way I expected it too. Entering 2015 I have some big hopes to get across my mind also.This is going to be similar to 2013 in that I would like this year to be a big physical year for me. Going to workout more and attempt to watch my diet more. Perhaps even start to run again “every day” like I did before.

Now while 2015 is a brand new year and really everyone comes up with plans for how it’s all going to go. I really don’t have any intentions on doing that at all. Going to continue doing the day by day week by week plan as it comes. Fate is going to have it’s way with me regardless of what I say right now. Yet I feel hopeful. Maybe more hopeful than I have felt in a long time. I honestly can’t believe we are 15 years into the 2000’s and things have gone the way they have. I feel very very blessed to have it gone this way but LIKE I SAID..fate is going to have it’s way.

Observation 107

With Christmas here and gone I have noticed a few things.. and with the year almost done I figure it’s a good time to start writing a small bit about it all. This year has clearly been a progressive one for me in terms of writing. At this point “not to sound like a advertisement” but I am well over the confident part of being able to write. So I will be working on a book “I have said this before” but this time I really am going to pin it down. Even have a topic to write about and will probably start working on it soon.  SO THAT IS GOOD!

Yet short of that this year has been pretty progressive with many mental exercises I am trying to execute. To tell the truth this year felt like a prelude to bigger things for just about everyone I know. Everyone this year seems to be taking steps to go in different directions. This I believe is very much so a matter of progression! Perhaps people are waking up and seeing that the lines “while still in place” can be bent, moved, and jumped over for the most part. True some of the directions people are going in are SUPER STRANGE to me but they are still trying. Almost like a build up to a massive event… “least that’s the way I feel about it”

I mean I look around at everything and all to quickly I see things changing. Younger things I don’t understand ” I guess that comes with age”. Older things just getting older… and really a layer of waking up that might be happening all over the place. Perhaps people are getting wiser.. or maybe I am getting wiser and just noticing more of it. I notice that the older I get the more set in my ways I am. So observing things is actually getting easier. I think it could be also because I have no wish to interact with much of it. While that sounds depressing it’s really not. It’s a learning things I seemed to have picked up this year. Wanting to understand the ways things work rather then interact with it. Wanting to build on top of things rather then float with it.

If it’s an age thing I hope it continues.. if it’s not and it’s a personality thing..maybe..just maybe.. this will lend to something very interesting!

Observation 106

Why is family so important? In observing the world around me we just passed the Holiday Thanks Giving and are on a running start to Christmas. With that in mind I did get to spend most of the week last week enjoying my time with Family. It was and will always be a comfortable time for me. Family to me does so much for me. It’s a feeling of safety, warmth, comfort and above all trust with a dash of good times. We converse about the individual while maintaining the big picture. Who is here and who has been lost? How do we currently feel about one another?

When Family gathers the big picture really comes into focus. We spend the entire year just being and moving along to accomplish a progressive state. When everyone comes together that feeling becomes very open and we learn to stop feeling so alone in it all. You learn that no matter what “those” of us are bound by a comfortable state of mind only brought on by that large gathering.

True to the statement the idea comes to me that the moment everyone leaves “what happens next?” jumps right to mind. Who will be around next year? What will be the focus if one of us shouldn’t be around? Really does the presence matter at all? To me it’s based more on the idea that some of us showed up and the one’s that couldn’t are in fact in the hearts and minds of those who didn’t show up. It’s a important matter to reflect on and brings on many emotional reactions.

It’s because we become grateful that I think we choose to move into December with that state of mind that we want to show it now. Gift giving is nice but it’s more the symbol that comes from it. You want to say I am thankful your here so let me also show you love by remembrance in the gift placement. Kinda like a good bye kiss. You do it to show you care not because of want or because of a advertisement list.

The value of a true gift comes in the presence of the idea not the monetary value. I would much rather have a gift of someone saying “hey Happy Holidays” than someone driving themselves mad over getting something expensive to give. To me it’s all the same Concept but the effort is really what makes it so worth while I think. The fact YOU TRIED is what makes it worth so much. I thank everyone for that and it’s in that we continue to make that effort.

Observation 105 12/03/2014

So I am at a point of great questioning. Who am I? I mean isn’t that part of the fun of Halloween? You dress up to keep the demons at bay. I mean sure you can use the commercial reasoning for it but in retrospect of the next few months I find it interesting that the next three holidays all go in the order of “Who are you? What are you great full for? What really matters to you?”. Really sums up Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas… all times that in a strange way ask you the questions you might not ask during the warmer weather times.

So who am I? Am I my job? The words on the page? The brother? The friend? The lover? It can be broken down into such a complicated question that really filling up this page is probably a great deal easier to do with the answers. Really this is getting me no place because I could wake up tomorrow and be something completely different. Fate is going to have it’s way regardless of what I write down here. I can’t control everything and the few things that I can control are really going to have to be things that matter to me.

Maybe it’s not about who I am but who I am trying to be? I look back and I am not even close to the 17 year old boy that I was. Sure I still have bits and peaces but with growth and maturity I have become this running machine I think. I don’t think I would like the person I became if I ran into myself in the past. However I do believe that my mind would be at ease that I did it all. That I managed to hold a job, get my own place, and become completely independent of everything. That’s what adults do after all and when I think back on it I don’t know if I ever thought in the past about the future enough to think about the person I would become. Do I even think about that now? Do I really think about the person I WILL be should I turn the amazing age of 40? I know I always smile and laugh at the idea of a 80 year old Alex.  Long gray hair, perhaps some grandchildren, a super Nintendo control still in my hand listening to headphones of bands I enjoy NOW. It will be funny to see 80 year old Alex I think.. probably still goofy as hell. Yet what about the in between?

The guy in his 40s, 50s and 60s? Will I still be working this job? I am not even sure…but it’s something to question. Who will be around? How much will things change?

Observation 104 10/19/2014

It’s that time again.. Days are getting shorter.. Nights are getting Longer..

I notice this because at 630am it’s still pretty pitch black. At about 7am it gets light pretty fast! It all sets at about 5pm… Either way it makes for my sleeping habits to be a bit better because well.. As I have said in the past I work at yea.. MORE NIGHT TIME BETTER SLEEP!

Here I am just thinking to myself about all the things that have been done and still need to be done. Not enough time in the world I think! I have been doing so much writing lately and I think I am starting to get better at this. However I still think I have a ways to go before I can write anything really concrete at this point. I keep saying I am going to write a book but every time I sit down and really try to focus. It just doesn’t happen. Hell I even purchased a voice recorder to help me keep some ideas however every time I bring the stupid thing with me NOTHING comes to mind. That and the music at my job is so loud that it tends to prevent me from recording anything. Either is what it is..

TWO More weeks till the end of this month! I am really looking forward to Halloween! It will be fun I AM SURE!  Going to go to the parade in Manhattan with my girlfriend, cousin and his girlfriend so it should be GREAT! Next month the family is having a big gathering so that is also something good to look forward too. Really my mind is all over the place right now and I can’t focus on one straight thought. Was hoping this writing would do it but it’s really not.. Oh well.. GOOD TIME OF THE YEAR TO START LOOKING BACK AND FORWARD!

Observation 103 09/24/2014

No place in the world feels more like home than the streets of NYC. More specifically Brooklyn.. The moment the train passes over and under Manhattan and I have a natural feeling of comfort that hits me. Even knowing I have no room to call my own in the city I still feel it. It’s almost like a warm blanket just falls over me. Brooklyn has a magic to it that really I can’t explain very well in words. I feel it every time I go to visit a friend or just to see a site. It’s probably the main reason why I continue to come back to it with joy and comfort.

Now I know that comfort in some ways is a odd illusion. Hell anyone who has taken a ride on the subway knows you keep your eyes open and your guard up. I can look around at the people and see lives I will never understand as well as those I know all to well. People struggle to do better in this city and sometimes they just rest on what they have just to be comfortable. Yet the thing I noticed this time was something I guess that came with the changing of time.

We live in a world full of mass communication yet we don’t look at each other anymore. In some ways I noticed that we isolate ourselves with this new technology. I noticed it happened over time… but I really noticed it when I rode the train this time. Out of let’s say 9 people on the train.. 7 had headphones on and faces into the cell phone world. It really made me think for a moment about what people have become? Is the neighborhood really dead? Or has it been transferred to a community that isolates itself in the words of Facebook, twitter, and so on…Perhaps Kevin Flynn “tron movie reference” was right.. It’s a digital Frontier..

In some ways it’s good I guess because people keep to themselves to feel safe… so no drama in some ways.. but in others.. It feels like we are now boxed to be unwrapped by only the welcome list of social media? It’s hard to say if any of this is true…but really it’s what it looks like at this point.. WHY Enjoy anything as simple as the train ride by yourself when you can tell the world.. Riding the train…Come with me?.. It’s a odd thing to notice…but I guess that is how the times have changed..?

Observation 102 09/12/2014

Have you ever looked around and come to terms that your problems aren’t as bad as those around you? Recently I have discovered that while I have my own complaints about this and that. Over all I have it pretty damned good in terms of situation. If I think about what I currently have it’s really very good in terms of positives and negatives. I have a very loving family, my own apartment, all my bills are paid, a girl who loves me. On top of that I have a job that while it’s ruff at times really isn’t so bad. I get to do all the writing I want which is good considering I don’t sleep much and really maybe play video games about 10% as much as I usto. Most of my time now is spent writing… which I notice I do ALOT…

I have oppertunity to do whatever I want when I want because I am 100% fully independent. I don’t really have to rely on anyone for much BUT that isn’t to say I don’t need help every now and again. Probably the biggest problems I have really fall on myself. I make stupid mistakes because well.. at the times that I make them really they sounded like a good idea! Later of course I regret it but none the less I move on. Even with all of that I manage to pull myself together and accomplish a great deal more than I probably give myself credit for.

Now what I have come to terms with is that no matter what amount of money you make. What job you hold OR how good you got it. It never seems like anything is happening at a fast enough speed. You just can’t get to that goal in mind fast enough. It’s what forces you to jump into situations that you don’t know what the outcome will be. Personally I play it safe 99% of the time and have most everything that is vital to my living situation PLANNED. Now of course a person can’t control fate and really sometimes things don’t go according to plan. Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing and fate will take it’s turn at whatever course of action it sees fit. After all you can’t control everything BUT you can plan for just about every situation. This is pretty much what I believe most people lack that I do NOT. I am a great planner because well… I over think just about everything that happens to me OR COULD happen to me. Even some of the most morbid stuff… I tend to over think it and’s possible.. I HOPE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN..but …it’s not without reason if it should. I THINK.. that is why I manage to deal the stress I have pretty easily.

People say never to let things stick with you…to release the sadness,anger, and so on. I have my own methods for that but really more often than I would like to believe I find myself staying silent about many things. Why would I stay silent? Well because 9 times out of 10 it’s just a path to more stress that really in the end I Personally am going to have to deal with MYSELF anyway. So on any given day I just make my decisions and let it go down the path I keep.  I think this observation was more of a self reflective thing…hmmm


Observation 060 (04/17/2012)

I know now that New York City will always feel like home. Brooklyn especially in this case. The way it looks, smells,sounds and feels always makes me feel so comfortable. Its like wearing your shoes all day and then finally taking them off and sitting on a love seat with someone you love rubbing your feet. That is exactly how I feel when I enter the city. Most people I think can’t  handle all the fast paced people walking both up town, down town, in and out of each store but I feel comfort in all that. 

I have been in and out of this state yet above everything my memories and just general feelings seem to get better when I return to my NYC. I don’t think that will ever change. So anyway yesterday I took my test that I have been preparing for months to take. I believe I did pretty good and generally feel good about it. If i didn’t do that good at least it was something I put my heart into and can say HEY I TRIED. If I did do as well as I think I did then all the better. Having a goal like that is something I think everyone should have. you need motivation in your life and more often then not people don’t have anything like that.  My next test is next week which will be my road test. I believe this time I will pass it because really I don’t believe I can be more comfortable with driving. Still its another goal and if I pass ..or more so when I pass. It will be another life changing moment. The possibilities will open up and I intend to take whatever I can from my chances.

I am almost 30 now and if I don’t start taking chances now with work and careers i’ll be stuck as a clerk for the rest of my life….and that isn’t what I want

Observation 059 (03/23/2012)

When I was in High School I never had a clue what was going on. I went to class, sat down and tried to listen but it always felt like the teachers and most of the students spoke in Alien. I was always trying to figure it out but one way or another I figured it be best I do things my own way and hope that someone would notice it.

That never happened… I did the best I could and I eventually did pass. I even passed figuring out that I was smarter then I thought I was and that NO ONE actually had a clue about what was going on. Not even most of the teachers knew how to get from point A….TO POINT Z.. It was kinda a ride we all went on and we did are best to get to it.

Now my biggest learning curve about myself is when I realized I have to be ORGANIZED. I have to set goals and I have to do things a specific way to get from one way to another. I did it with my learning, my music, art, even with my writing right now. One of my favorite things about video games is that its all organized in the same manor. You are given a goal and told to do something and you can’t go any other way around it. So you figure it out as the problems hit you and eventually you finish.

Right now I am trying to set things up this year to get to a goal of being more Progressive then I am right now. NOT to say I am in a bad position right now because honestly I feel very lucky to have what I do. Yet I also feel that deep part of me that wants MORE. That very human part that screams “YOU SHOULD BE DOING MORE!” for the past few years I have been pushing it and so far lots of progress with it all. I have changed the very way I look, feel, and behave for the most part.

What I have to observe and question right why am I doing it? What do I EXPECT TO GAIN?… My own personal view on things I have come to the conclusion that if I want to gain anything I need to be in a different spot then the ONE I am currently.  Don’t get me wrong ain’t nothing wrong with being THE DARK KNIGHT of gwl…however.. Its limited me to so many things I WANT!! ..Like.. to get married, have money, eat more children…and so on!

Its a matter of effort at this point AND I AM PUSHING IT!

Observation 058 (02/282/2012)

This entire month has been both hard and Silent. Work has been silent so I have been able to catch up on a great deal of cleaning on this part and that part. Its a good thing too because honestly the store most of the time NEEDS IT! x)

Its been hard because all week “except for today cause I had a bad head ach” I have been practicing for my Road test  coming this TUESDAY! At this point I know I need more practice and honestly I am hoping for the best with this test. I REALLY NEED TO PASS IT! Next month will be my FDNY Test and again…Lots of work needs to go into getting this done. I have been killing myself with working on my workouts, and doing what I can in terms of reading for the test. Really aside from looking over old test you can’t really prepare for it because who knows what they will place on the written exam.

Next week will also follow suit with plans for my trip to Florida in JUNE. Its both cool and scary to think that come that same month I will be turning 29 while Grandma will be turning 80. The women sure doesn’t act it but god only knows I will be so lucky to be that energetic at that age.

Pushing myself has been hard because well.. I don’t sleep much… I have a great many goals to accomplish this year and not nearly enough time to do half of all of it. I still need to look into more workout stuff… I feel I am not pushing myself enough with that. With the weather getting better I hope to push myself harder. At this point I guess I can only do as much as I can. Its been a very slow progress but over all it has been progress so I can’t really complain. I can’t really wait for the weather to get better so I can really really push on with my plans.

I really am also hoping to be back in Brooklyn by the end of the year… but who knows if that will happen. Honestly that would require lots of luck and an amazing amount of planning which at this point probably isn’t going to happen..BUT I HAVE FAITH..

Holding out on faith is really all I Have at this point. Faith in myself and drive to do better is all I can accept. Do I have days where I just want to NOT do anything….NOPE…honestly I have driven those days longggggggg past gone. Every day something has to improve if it be something small or big. So really over all this year has been so far better then last in that I started this year with drive and I will end it that way.

I just hope the weather keeps up… been observing myself a great deal lately…hmmm

Observation 057 (02/27/2012)

For a long time now I have been considering the idea of moving back to Brooklyn. I keep telling myself about how much I miss it and all the things that I want to get back once I get to that GREAT goal of getting a better job, and moving back. Now I am considering the idea that maybe if I go back its not so much the place but the time. Brooklyn hadeverything for me, it had my best friends, my schools, my video game and music stores, corner shops for cookies. I could ride my bike or even walk any place I wanted to with no worries of getting lost because I knew every inch of that island.

That was more then 10 years ago thou… Now All my friends who I had known are either gone or have families. The stores I went to are gone or simply not as cheap as they were. Schools still a possibility but its not going to be the same place. Really I have to face the fact that I am going to be 29 years old soon and perhaps things are more what they are now and I can’t go back.

Lets say I do move back to Brooklyn and I do find myself a nice place to live in. I really have to question how many of the things that I had could I pick up again. Sure being able to shop whenever I want will be a plus. Going to clubs and shows also a plus. Record stores are all gone so that kinda sucks. Comic book shops are still around thou few in the bunch. I can think of only a couple of my friends who are still in Brooklyn that I miss horribly. Which in moving back will be a good thing because I will get to see them again. Good people are REALLY hard to find so I made it a very big point to be in contact with those couple.

Really it could be great… but I believe it will never be the same.

Observation 056 (02/09/2012)

I know its late but my mind seems to be moving and I haven’t written one of these in awhile so figured WHY NOT?

So recently I have been working,working working.. Only a couple of more weeks till my road test, and FDNY test. Both I hope to ACE! Lots of pushing myself this year and sadly still not enough due to being sick the past week with some sort of chest congestion thing. Not really sure but some Antibiotics later and I am feeling better…NOT GREAT..but better… the leak in my apartment has FINALLY been repaired. I had spent the day this morning at mom and dad’s with Megan, the dog and the cat while that all got fixed.

So what am I observing this time? Well today is Williams Birthday! Thursday the 9th..his party isn’t until Saturday but none the less it has me thinking. My Nephew who is currently 5 years old today has been in my family for that long and I don’t know where time WENT! It feels like yesterday my sister was having her oldest and now here we are on the 5th birthday of her youngest.

It seems to me that the older I get the more quickly time does pass by. 55, 34,38,28…GOODNESS THESE NUMBERS Keep getting higher and while I know none of us are who we are when we where lets say..17,13,12, or even 21.. Really does time have to keep going so damned quickly. The more things change the more they stay the same. In all of this I keep in mind self improvement.

Have I and those around me improved and accomplished something better for themselves and myself? I am working, and have my health and family to love. They all can say the same to this and that degree. In all of this I think to myself perhaps it isn’t the time that I am really thinking about but all the things that came between now and then. School, Jobs, Traveling, loves lost, loves gained, stress, joy and just life in general.

Here I think about the 5 year old and all the things that he will have to accomplish to get to the place that his mom and dad are at. How he will have to push to be better then myself and everyone before him and survive problems that will come and go. I think its mostly the trip that we take from it and not the time spent during the trip. Sure plenty of hours go by where we sit in school and watch the clock because the class is to FREAKING BORING..but if we really listened to the moment we would come to learn all to quickly how badly those moments we wish we could have back.

Oh what I would give to sit in a boring class room again…and what I hope to one day REVIVE that boring class room again. I write this now at the start of the year still not knowing what will come or where I will be when this year ends. However after 55 other observations taking up about a years worth of learning I know for a FACT nothing is meant to stay the same.

We will travel hard on are backs of this thing called life. Some of us will chase Mexicans, some will serve the public, some will go to school for the first time, and some will just have to deal with more stress…..WELL MOST WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH MORE STRESS…but at the end of it all the question should always be was it worth it?

Honestly I believe every second is worth it..even if I am sick and not wanting to get my ass off to running…and pushing myself…but none the less..ITS ALL WORTH IT..

Observation 055 (01/19/2012)

I am not and never have been comfortable with understanding myself. Honestly I question all the time who is? Being alive on this earth you have to question all sorts of things. What happens when I die? What am I going to do tomorrow/tonight/this evening? How is my sister,brother,mother,father and etc? Is my home clean enough, when will I do laundry again?

Some serious questions some not so much. I don’t sleep much and honestly I don’t think I ever will so I tend to stay awake just questioning things. I work at night by myself… true from time to time I have customers who come in and talk. Some are really great people, some not so much. This year we are now in the third week of the new year….THAT’S IT..and already I am nervous about the future. Plus I know some BIG F@#ING Changes are coming in my life and I am doing my best to accept that things NEED to change but honestly sometimes I just want to be 12!!

I don’t know what I am talking about but honestly I suppose change is necessary and just damn hard to accept.

Observation 054 (01/02/2012)

I don’t know what happened to the world?.. Maybe it was to many movies or maybe it was the media but since when did the idea of a  Police Officer become a bad thing? DON’T get me wrong I am not saying “PEOPLE” aren’t corrupt and all and giving anyone that kinda power can get to the heads of some. Yet honestly I don’t know why so many people seem to treat the cops like they are doing something wrong?

YOU ran a stop sign and get stopped… They pull You over and ask for your license and registration… They then stop and ask you to get out of the car and stand in one spot… YOU have to ask why.. and then YOU act surprised when they can smell LIQUOR ON YOUR BREATH….and they search your car!

I don’t understand how this sort of thing happens. Yet it does happen often enough that people really see no justice in this situation. Hell some people go even further and try to tell the cops the law LIKE THE OFFICER DIDN’T SPEND several months learning it in a class instead of your nay say or TV.

Its like telling a Doctor your doing that wrong while getting open heart surgery.. SERIOUSLY..YOUR GOING TO TRY TO DO THAT? I don’t know.. it just seems to me that people are odd. Why would we try to tell someone who Has gone to school, licensed and been doing it for years HOW to do it?

I am a clerk..if you come up to me and ask if we have a product..chances are I will know..if not..then I will know where to search for said item IF we have it. We all have jobs..things some of us study to do..or have been doing for years. WHY QUESTION a person who is doing that job for a long time?

Perhaps it’s just in a nature to be defensive. To try to prove we are RIGHT when we are WRONG….I don’t know..but you would think we have evolved to the point that WE CAN GET OVER IT ALREADY.

Observation 053 (11/25/2011)

So here we are again..December.. The last month of the year 2011. Now we go into 2012 and with it comes hope, and wonder. Personally I am pleased with how 2011 went because I did manage to succeed in about 75% of the goals I head set when I started this year. I have been working out and with the result my body is to the point where I am probably more healthy now then I have ever been my entire life.  School didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to however I do feel I have learned a great deal in this year about general living then I would have in any school.

My Confidence is as high as its ever been and my goals for the new year to come are clear. Now what I have been observing for quite some time is the method that people go from start to finish of any given year.  Stress starts out slow…

January 1st..we all reboot for lack of a better way of explaining it.  We set goals and we do are best to have them complete by the end of the year. BY December “meaning this month” WE STRESS OVER EVERYTHING… Are the numbers in correctly? Are we as a company and as a business at the points we should be? Did I buy everyone the gifts they need? Did I send out cards? Did I do this..that…its all STRESS!

What I think most people forget is that it’s the end of the year. If its not done now chances are it isn’t going to be. That we are who we are because we want to be and time doesn’t really control that. If we devote are time to positive things we come out the end of the year with positive results. If not …well.. you get the point. I think that this year I will continue to push myself the way I have. I hope that those around me will try to do the same. If 2012 does mean the end of the world at least I can say I did everything possible to make it a good and happy life.

Observation 052 (11/26/2011)

Change is a part of evolution that not only comes in big parts..but it comes in small parts to. No matter the measurement it all effects point of view and really its hard to say what can and can not come from change. I am at a point where I no long want to be in the same spot i was before. On lots of levels I want better things to come from the work that I do. Yet knowing this it also requires that I change my work as well. I am far better of a person then I THOUGHT5 years ago..or 10 years… or even 10 minutes ago.

If anything has been proven from the last few years it’s that if I push myself and I listen and continue to learn the right things life can be different in so many wonderful ways. I don’t want next year to be like this year …I want change in my life… I want things to be better. Not that things were bad at all…but room for improvements has always been my way.. My whole life always getting that C+ or B.. was always in mind and on the paper.

I think its time that I really really push myself. I am capable of so much more and I know this to be true in every part of my being. I have common sense, brains, and ability to do more with myself. As for those around me who support me I am VERY grateful to have you with me..Both family and friends. For those against the change..

GROW UP…and do something worth your life rather then go around telling people “oh you should change this and that”..

I never could stand those people..and honestly i don’t think I ever will

Observation 051 (11/14/2014)

I tried writing this last night but for some odd reason it didn’t go. So I will try again now.

Recently things have been rather active in my life. Between working, attempting to get ready for the FDNY test and well life in general its been kinda hard to find time to do simple things I want to do like…play video games, watch movies and so on. Sleeping has become a pretty big part of my days aside from work.. So over all I think I need a vacation……like…one where I don’t do SH@# but sit around and do whatever it is my little heart wants. Either way with thanks giving coming up I expect the next couple of months to not only move fast but be REALLY REALLY REALLY BUSY.

However with that said WORK should probably slow down I believe but who knows at this point. The last few nights have been HELL.. yet last night was pretty much the way I expected it to be and tonight shouldn’t be much worse. I am doing all that I can at this point to push myself but who knows what will happen..Honestly I am really really looking forward to the New Year and hope to continue to improve my state of mind and physical body. Honestly in terms of health that is the one thing I can say did go according to plan. I DON’T Think I have ever been this healthy in …well…all my life.

Now if I can just deal with the rest of my issues..such as work, and personal stuff… I think the rest will all fall into place.

But isn’t that really the way life goes? We as people tend to do one of two things. We either self destruct or we self improve… I am just trying to keep it at a medium at this point and really.. I can’t say I am doing to bad at this point..

Observation 050 (10/10/2011)

Currently I am sitting on a bus heading to Washington DC. From Dc I will be taking a train to Virginia where Megan and Myself will be picked up by her family to spend some vacation time doing….vacation things. Either way this bus is kinda small and it has Wi Fi and well.. it gives me some time to observe a few things.

For example.. Traveling on a trip like this you notice not really much to see other then trees, road, and well..other cars, trucks and what have you. You would think that at some point people would maybe add something to these roads. Perhaps Christmas tree lights would be cool. I can’t imagine it would be very distracting but it would for sure add to the very boring scenery we currently have.

Sad part is I remember traveling from New York to Florida MANY MANY MANY years ago and well I can tell you right now the scenery doesn’t change much in that spend either.  Just bushes to your left and right and road. The good thing about this vacation is that the weather is supposed to be holding up pretty well so over all whatever we plan to do while we are on this adventure least we know we can DO IT!!

Goodness I have done a great deal of traveling the past few years. I must say I rather enjoy the trains more then the buses. Yet when I come to think of it most people I know prefer trains also. I WOULD love to some day go on a train from New York to Californian just because I think it would be a interesting thing to do. Either way this bus is kinda nice but over all its a interesting trip and very….boring..

Observation 049 (09/26/2011)

Recently I have had to deal with a great number of people I believe shouldn’t have passed Grades 1-4.  The lack of common sense isn’t something that scares me any more but has become a simple Norm I suppose. I do my best to rationalize the amount of stupidity that I deal with. Yet I always find myself really in question if maybe its something we are doing to are selves.

My hope in humanity is just gone. The simpler things get the more stupid people will breed and really perhaps its supposed to be this way so that one day one of us will do something SOOOO STUPID…it will just destroy all the rest of us and well… i guess we will have to start from scratch again.

Maybe that’s what we need to do. RESET TIME!… I think it would work well with us to do some lifting of the logs, start some fires, LEARN TO SURVIVE A LITTLE!!

I don’t know..this is going to be short..but still….I think the easier things get the more simple minded people will be..and then…all those hard lessons..just don’t come to terms…DAMN…

Observation 48 (09/09/2011)

I haven’t written anything in awhile. Fact is the summer has been full of rain, more working hours and over all lots of time to catch up with things that needed to be caught up with….if that makes any sense at all.

However the good part is that the kids have all finally gotten back to school so now my job will probably slow down and things will probably get back to order. I might even have  a second to think about stuff and actually start to kick this stuff back into play again. The summer time is never really a good time for me for the most part. Its always hot, Humid, and the day time sun is always out longer which means its rather hard for me to sleep. WHY DON’T YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT ALEX?

I work at night so having longer summer hours and having people want to do things I ACTUALLY WANT TO DO. Summer time really isn’t the best time for me. I have honestly loved winter time and fall better then any time during the years. Fall everything seems to smell better and well things get really colorful around town so over all its kinda nice. WINTER SILENCE is golden to me. I love it when everything gets covered in snow and people just aren’t around as much.

Don’t get me wrong my observations wouldn’t really be much of anything without people but as a personality flaw I really DON’T LIKE PEOPLE MUCH. How funny is that to say on a network for….People….

Either way recently it hasn’t been so bad. Work has actually forced me to be social and really to some degree its not to bad. Yet to some degree it can get REALLY annoying dealing with drunks, drug addicts and some pretty lost and lonely people. Yet again..having friends is a good thing so really I don’t have anything bad to say about anyone who will likely read this.

Next month I will be taking my first REAL vacation and I am hoping everything will turn out straight and perfect with it. I am still unsure what the plan is but at this point I have a few options and I am trying to plan that out. So many things need to be done still  but HEY..

In life isn’t that every day?..God this one was pretty random…Next time i will try to focus…


Observation 047 (08/11/2011)

One of the things I never thought to observe or even really thought about much about my life is how I live it. 80% of the because of my job…its IN THE DARK! I normally on a average week work from the hours of 10:30 pm till about 630am. The sun always sets when I go in and it rises when I leave. It has been compared to the life style of a vampire,Batman, and a Raccoon! …or some sort of nocturnal creature. Fact is my sleeping habits are pretty bad .. I will sleep for 4 hours here..and 4 hours there…and that about does my sleep set for most every average day. Right now I AM OFF work and the hour is 204 am.. So yea it kinda tells you something about how I do things in life.

So what I have come to question now is why is the night life so different from the day time. I mean sure jobs are normally done during the day so really the only time people have to rest is during the night. That kinda explains the silence of the town, city, or whatever the place you are at. However the thing I hear  most often is that the MOON has effects on peoples brains that make em…ummm….different. If I have learned anything from working or even being awake at night at any time its that this IS FACT..NOT FICTION.

If you ever notice how people act funny chances are its not the mood..its the moon and its reaction to the brain waves in your head. People can more then often do some pretty silly stuff. People drink more, smoke more, and act a fool more during full moons.  During the night most people will do things that really…you never thought they were capable of but this also could be because they believe…NO ONE is watching. I suppose that goes for doors being closed in general too…people do what they want.

I have most of my interactions with people at night so my hope in…emmmm…slim at best… BUT I believe people will eventually get better…who knows?….Either way living a night life can be both amazingly great….and..absolutely horrifying too..

Observation 046 (08/07/2011)

So recently the newspaper reported that the stock market Dow closed down 512 points. This isn’t the first sign of trouble for the world but its something that seems to have caught a great deal of attention to many people. I am not a fan of Politics but when things get reported like this along with the several stories I have heard of people losing there jobs after 15, 20 and 35 years doing a job it does raise several emotions none of which are happy or hopeful.

Don’t get me wrong I do things my own way in terms of lifestyle. I support myself,a girlfriend, a dog and a cat and really I don’t fear at all about not having money because I do my job and I do it well. The gas companies seem to be the only one’s really not SUPER effected by these ordeals mostly because its one of the three things people need every day. Water, Food, and gas is what runs every day life. Will this change? Probably in the future but by then I hope to be doing something different with my life anyway.

The way I see it life is full of ups and downs. The best way to get past most of it is to just focus on the present. When Do I have work? What will I eat today? What bills need to be paid? How much and When are pretty much set on a set of terms and times I already have planned. In the event that something should happen and my plans go astray chances are I have a back up to deal with that as well. Saving money isn’t easy and on a normal monthly bases I find myself saying…”Damn I wish I had more money saved.” Over all I live a very comfortable life for right now but the question of what will change and how it will come about comes to mind all to often.

My hope in humanity because of my job and really what people show me is very very dime. To many people spend retarded amounts of money on stuff they don’t need and almost never focus on the big pictures of paying off stuff they NEED or SHOULD pay off. I myself have a list of Credit cards that I am currently trying to pay off along with my rent and of course other resources such as Cable and this and that. These are all things I pay off so I can sleep at night and live a comfortable life.

Why so many people seem to spend redicloious amounts of money on things they DON’T need and more so WANT is beyond me. For me to spend money on something I don’t need I honestly have to question several things. A. Can I afford it? B. how long will it take to pay back? and C. What will it really change in my life?

Now I am a big time GAMER. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs. My biggest things that I purchase are Video games, Comic books and from time to time music and movies. However I would never take any of those out of context and say …”i want this game so bad but I am not sure I can pay for it”… I am more so the type of person who says. I will buy said product and make a cut and clear date to which it will be paid with no sense of worry that it won’t happen. That’s pretty much how I sleep at night. I know what I know and if I question something for a second it simply doesn’t happen.

Now maybe its a matter of catching up with things that seems to be everyone’s problems. Perhaps time will fix these issues we are all having?… OR MAYBE …its all based on piss poor planning. OR PERHAPS even worse.. greed..

At this point I would say greed seems to be the problem and that the spot light seems to be showing it more and more lately could be a good thing…


Observation 045 (07/25/2011)

For awhile now I have been trying to think about what I was going to write in this here Observation. One thing I don’t think many people know about me is that I have a very open mind when it comes to religion. I very RARELY ever talk about it. I almost never bring it up in conversation because  well its such a diverse topic that really saying anything can and does most of the time make people very DEFENSIVE.

So instead of talking about things that I have observed from others I will take the time to explain what I have observed from my own point of view about said topic. Things happen in life that people can’t explain. Things have happened in my own life that really I don’t have answers for and some I might gain insight with  in time. How I believe the events of my life take course are all based on fate. I do believe that nature has a plan set and that the course of how I do things in life will effect the nature of everything around me. I believe that everything is set to both good and bad ends and that something is happening every day that is well beyond my control but I do take a very important part of much like EVERYONE.

Those who pressure others to do things are meant to do so. Same as those who do both good and bad. Its all meant to happen for this or that reason but I don’t think it is good or evil but a matter of opinion. No one I know does anything for evil causes. They always believe what they are doing is Correct even if its the worse kind of evil. True to the sense of it all …EVIL is the deconstruction of things. Good is the Progression of things.

who’s to say what is Right or wrong or done under the word of a greater cause? HONESTLY we are all born with one voice and we will use it as we please so who is to say what cause is correct.

Observation 044 (07/14/2011)

One of the most interesting things I have noticed about the world is how we have progressed. People back in 1990 had to write letters, drive cars to get from place to place to preform jobs. They had to carry cash and use phones at home or on street corners to communicate. TV was the only way to watch shows other then going to Broadway, or your local Cinema. Life physically had to be to done by hand.

Today progressed from all that. We have E-mail, some jobs can be done at home on computers, we have debit/credit cards, cell phones, touch screens, and are options for physically doing anything has been reduced to living lives entirely on the grid. Facebook has made it so that everything you do can be judged.

HELL this is something that couldn’t be done before short of me writing and copying this stuff on paper and handing it out like a news paper.

We live in a free world of judgement and the rise of the machines. My wonder is how far we will go with this? People can now be tracked by Metro cards, which is why the tokens were replaced. I recall hearing a story about a criminal who was caught because he used his metro card that be purchased with a debit card under his name. SUCKS TO BE HIM..but how far is to far?

This morning I heard a story about restaurants restricting the services of there restaurants to children under the age of 6 because the sound they create disturbs others. That same story was also followed by First class air planes restricting also children of the age of 6 from ridding. This all again comes down to judgement… these particular services want better points here because publicly they will lose customers from having any sort of negative comments committed.

Because of twitter, Facebook and other sources we don’t the News to tell us what is worth seeing and not because why take someone’s word from someone you don’t know when you can take it from someone who is up the block.

Things are changing and I must question…how far is to far?

Observation 043 (07/04/2011)

So its 4th of July and well things are as best as can be. What I seem to have on my mind is new and exciting things. Most of my life I have been very open minded to just about everything with the exception of Illegal actions like Drugs, and well…everything Illegal. True to terms I was a teenager once and with that comes the expected mischief making. However over the years I have come to learn that I missed some things that perhaps could have been really more or less over seen.

So I am going back and checking on a few things I missed. Something tells me that some movies, games and so on could do some reviewing. However what is most interesting to me is the aspect of it. Things seem so much more important that really aren’t when you are younger. Well when I was younger things that were really cool were video games, power rangers, and Cotton candy! Of course the nail polish, black clothing and well over all interesting life  style I had have become a faded memory. I have aged and with it I notice that my mind becomes more and more set in its ways. Like when you meet someone who is over the age of 70 and can’t understand a computer…That’s slowly becoming me from what I understand. I think its a natural thing to happen to people. They get set in the ways they are used too.

Either way I plan to open my mind to more things..perhaps do some follow ups on others. All and all things will be interesting this year!

Observation 42 (06/22/2011)

Life can be funny…

This past year has taught me lots of things about myself. I started writing Observations about the most random topics and honestly this will continue probably for the rest of my life one way or another. I find it very treating and healing in my own way.  I have managed to push myself in ways I didn’t think I could in terms of getting my own apartment, Fearing the future, presenting obstacles that I didn’t know I could over come but pushed for anyway. I put myself into a position that I knew would be hard but kept repeating the Mantra “No matter how hard things get you got past more then you ever thought you could. So your not thinking high enough.” 

I have done more in the past 10 years then I thought I could 10 years ago. I have a ton more I NEED not want to….but NEED to do. I want to go back to Brooklyn because its the place I feel my heart is. SO I AM GOING to do that. I want to go back to school SO I AM going to figure that out. Its the journey that scares the hell out of me that I will fail. Yet here I am sitting in a place I never thought I would be all because I told that fear that I had before to for the most part go F#@# itself and what do I really have to lose.

I learned very quickly that in the end what exactly do I really need? I need to be happy, I need to be capable, and I need to be strong.  I am doing so much more then I thought I could and the way I see it I am probably going to push more.  If by some chance I push to much and everything falls apart what do I really have to lose?

Will power is a amazing thing I think. People don’t put enough faith into what they do. They don’t treat life with enough push. I haven’t pushed enough and I really want to do more and I plan on it. The only thing stopping me is myself yet its very complicated in my head. I know if I write it down here it sounds simple enough for me to read but….its going work.. I know its going to work.

Observation 41 (06/19/2011)

I went to work at 10:30pm.. Got out at 6:30 am.. Caught the 7 o  clock bus out of town to the city. Tried my best to sleep and then went to Coney Island to the mermaid Parade.

The biggest questions I had in my mind is what happened to Coney Island? Would things be the same or different? Boy oh boy did I get my answers. Of course I uploaded a ton ofpictures of the event. My Friends who I was supposed to meet didn’t show. Some answered the phone’s, Others the timing was just bad but over all the trip was still well worth it because I got to spend time with Megan “My girlfriend” Whom enjoyed the hell out of it. Got to see my Brooklyn and all its changes. Got to enjoy a over all very energetic Parade.

I even had Nathans hot dogs, cheese fries, and a Soda! Which was worth the entire trip in itself. YES Nathans is still AROUND..and yes So is the wounder wheel and just about everything that I recalled. A few spots have been disposed of but mostly spots that I can’t recall ever caring for really. The board walk was as perfect as I remembered it, the weather could not have been better and the cops were all in place.

It was a great day to remember, My face is very very RED even after apply sun block on my face and so on. It still kinda feels like I am wearing a mask.

Towards the end of the trip while getting home around…7 or 8…at latest. I got so tired and well moody…that when I walked into my apartment..I took my shoes off..laid down..and passed out within most…2 mints..

I woke up this morning at abou 4 am… sorted some stuff out…Uploaded some pictures, at about 730am..I got on my bike, did my lap around the lake, did my exercise at my parents, and now I am writing.

Over all my feelings towards Brooklyn, NY haven’t changed at all.  It always does feel like home and I do miss it so very much. The trains I should also make a small note of..have IMPROVED GREATLY!..Thou the price is kinda up on that it does show a great deal of improvement from what I REMEMBERED…of them.

Over all the trip was great..I had a great time with my girlfriend, and I am over joyed of the fact that not much has changed over the years. I even got to see the docs with the crabs… crab fishing…odd…

anyway off I go to enjoy a very interesting FATHERS DAY!!! Hoping for the best!

Observation 040 1/2 (06/07/2011)

I have so much on my mind right now and i can’t sleep. Yes this will be the second observation today.

I just finished riding my bike around the lake and doing some weight lifting stuff. This will be a on going thing I will do my best to continue. I am also still waiting on the Nintendo E3 presentation. I really want to see the new NINTENDO SYSTEM!...

I also believe I am over tired so I might sound a bit ..ummm…drunk…but keep in mind I don’t drink, and I don’t do drugs so yea..this is just me being over tired. In a few moments I am going to turn on my playstation and play some mortal kombat. I honestly don’t know why I am writing this right now but hey…its me writing and I kinda feel like doing that right now.

Two things I were expecting to happen today didn’t happen also. No new mk Episode, and no Castlevania DLC because its supposed come out on the 21st..and The Mk Episode happens at comic con…ITS LAME!

however I just remembered MK HAS DLC that comes out today. Its been a on going argument about content also. Anyway that sounds fun!…. why is my mind running so much… OFF i go!

Observation 040 (06/07/2011)

Last night was one of those nights that things just went according to the set up I was given. I came to work .. Did everything I had to do and pretty much didn’t sleep that much during the day. I also watched the sony press conference last night which was actually a great deal more impressive then I thought it would be. I WANT A PS VITA NOW!..Epically since they just announced last night MORTAL KOMBAT will be on it! Plus the price point isn’t to bad. 250.00…Which by December I hope to have enough..but who knows..its on the list I guess.

I am a little tired right now but I figured I would write a bit before going to sleep…

So anyway I am getting excited about my birthday on Friday and having off Friday night and Saturday night. I don’t think I have had a Friday or Saturday to myself in over a year. I can only hope that I  have enough energy to enjoy it! Plus Next Saturday JUNE 18TH I hope to go visit Coney Island for the parade. Also hoping to meet up with my old friend SAM!…I do miss so many things from MY BROOKLYN, but most of all I do miss my friends. We have all grown old and spread about but some of us are still around and I am hoping to spend some small time with them as much as I can.

I REALLY need to get on the ball with things I want in my life. I want to return to Brooklyn but can’t do so because its to far from my job and to expensive to find a new job and move there. I need to enter school, get my permit again, and try to get my act together.

Don’t get me wrong I love my job now. It pays for my apartment, my food and so on. However its not what I want to do my WHOLE DAMNED LIFE. Hell I have been doing it for too long as is…however somethings are out of my control so yea..I need to get myself together.

I am just hoping for the best

Observation 039 (06/06/2011)

This might end up being a two part observation but lets see how I feel here…

Right now I am thinking about the past year. My birthday is coming up in a few days and well I am reflecting as I tend to do around this time of the year. This year has been to say the least complicated in so many fields. Both some very good things have happened as well as some tragic. Both fields of wide life involvement and short life involvement has been on the ups and downs. I think that statement can be qualified for every year but this year has been rather more up then down.

America the home and place I currently live in has seen some very good turns. I have watched as we advance as a country to a more even type of place. All that hope everyone ever talked about is starting to show I think. Yet again this could just be a opinion that I am opening my eyes more too perhaps. The state of New York while its taxes are still ridiculous seems to be getting back to that summer feeling which in itself proves people aren’t as bad off as they thought they were. When the year comes that my job is rather silent during the summer…Then and only then will I really feel something is seriously wrong with what we are doing.

People still drink, party, and feel comfortable the next day so really things can’t be so bad.

Living in New York and while I still believe we need much more improvement to get back to the place we sat at during..maybe…about…10 years ago. We are all progressing I believe. Progress is key and perhaps this is what we must all establish to have running with us. Work is work, fun is fun but for me it seems to just continue to get better and better to the point that I really am not worried any more about the drop. The drop is a natural thing at this point and when and IF it comes I don’t think I will be as off guard as I once felt I was. At this point FATE seems to be the biggest mind set I have. Both good and bad things will come and go and fate will either direct me to one side or another.

I can’t say this past year has been perfect but it came pretty damned close for me I must say. I know some things could have been better. Yet isn’t that always the story? We have to lose to accept what we have and to gain a true insight into what we should appreciate from one another.

I am sure I will continue this state of mind for the rest of the week. Yet … So much to think about…so little time

Observation 038 (05/30/2014)

Today is Memorial day. I said something to my brother in law the other day that made me think for a bit and kinda made me sad and laugh at the same time. Most people don’t know what Memorial day is about and they happen to think of it more as a time to drink, have off work and just relax.

Fact is Memorial day isn’t just for the people to have a dayoff work. Its for are warriors, are friends and family who work hard and protect us every single day. True to forum lots more people know more about it these days with the war happening over seas. Yet few people don’t know how to react to it..So they drink and waste braincells they should be using on thinking of all we have in this country,  Now my feelings towards drinking is one thing…but if you didn’t drink today for at least one person who is fighting for you…or fought.

Honestly I can’t say more then this article can so …read it…and take from it what you will.. I don’t think I could have said it better.

Observation 037 (05/28/2011)

Last night was one of those nights that things constantly happened. I had customers, cigarettes to count, coffee to make, things to clean, stock and so on. It was a very busy Friday night/ Saturday Morning.. I made about give or take 1200 in a matter of 8 hours. Personally I would love to have made that kinda money myself but sadly the business iswhat it is.

I have worked around people in and out of different jobs for awhile. One of my personality flaws I fell I have is that I hate…hate….hate…people. I deal with them fine at work..and come off as over all a very pleasant person I suppose. The biggest problem I have with people is the groups.

Its a pretty interesting thing to watch people interact with one another. For example..

A person can walk into a store…come to the something and leave.. no problems, no real conversations, nothing really said..simple in and out..

That same person can walk into a store with a couple of friends.. and well..the situation gets MORE COMPLICATED…. The person ends up loud, annoying, drunk and well is showing off.

This happens all to often and really…it causes me to really dislike people…. I don’t think this is much of a observation… but i think I am just feeling more so… Bitter!

Observation 036 (05/26/2011)

I can understand the appeal to wanting to join a community. People are naturally social creatures and while some aren’t as social as others people do require at least one person in his/her life that can help with whatever. Even if a person is a hermit chances are that person reads books, watches tv, or does something that makes being with other people a necessary thing. Even if they aren’t really around.

I understand clubs and bars also, I can see a person going to a club for music, to maybe enjoy some random conversation. To relax and feel apart of something or to dance and just go wild. I understand drinking also for the most part… I don’t agree with it really….while I do partake in it every now and again…but what I don’t understand and I never drugs.

People “and this is being really general” KNOW that drugs effect the human body on a level that Alcohol can not be compared too. While drinking can kill a person over time drugs have been known to kill a person with the first time use. WHILE TRUE..some drugs have been known to never kill a person I do not understand the reason behind the drugs. Nor do I really understand smoking for that matter.

I mean its not really a hobby that can cause you to think or relax. Its not even something people do for really…any reason other then maybe and this is a big MAYBE….to experience something new….but even then if it was to experience something new you would probably only do it once and then…be done with it.

Yet people tend to become very interested in drugs and I can’t comprehend why and really for the most part I think it has a lot to do with personality. I believe people or some people for that matter require some sort of substance in life to make it worth while. Some people are just really bored also I suppose. Also some find it to be relaxing I guess. I guess those reasons can work for some people but I just don’t comprehend much of the idea of it.

Observation 035 (05/23/2011)

Last Night at work I held a interesting conversation with someone at my job about how things have changed over the internet. It got to the conversation of Pirating music and how back in the day all you needed was a friend with a cassette taper that could record another cassette tape. It made me laugh to the point to think back to high school. I was one of those kids that loved his tape player. I recorded my first album on a cassette tape, recorded numerous other albums and so on. When I lived in Brooklyn I would go to a record store and buy Tapes, because at the time CD’s were kinda costly and really I didn’t have a job or money to spend 20 bucks on a CD’S. Yet it made me think about the time between it..

Currently I don’t Pirate anything because the times have changed so much over the internet that everything YOU and I do is monitored and honestly its not worth the risk. However I do remember being younger and using Napster, and AOL and all of that stuff before they had to lay down laws for all this crap.I recall having to use a 56 k Modem and having to wait for HOURS for a song to finish. JUST ONE FREAKING SONG…and well yea times have changed.

Yet what amazes me about all of it is that its all happened so fast. High School was only about 8 years ago.. Have things really become that much different? Will there ever be a group of kids who sit in a room on a computer all night talking to each other about music, art, video games, and so on?

Such good times and yet now its all gone and things are so different now. Those kids are all grown up now and talk over this machine of wonder. I never saw it happen..hell I never thought it COULD HAPPEN. Yet here I SIT..typing about it.

we advance so quickly and the question that keeps coming to mind is what is next?…what rule…and what experience will we have next?

Observation 034 (05/15/2011)


What is it that makes a man a man and a women a women? Some believe that a level of confidence defines personality. What you say, how you say it and what level and point of view can all be measured in confidence. The bosses of corporations require a level of confidence to wake up and say..THINGS ARE GOING TO BE RUN THIS WAY AND TO HELL with the world if they aren’t.

Confidence can also be a good measure of how people find mates in life. With the right amount of confidence a man with very little can gain very much depending on how he/she carries themselves. I have seen men who would define the words “DIRT BAGS” get more in life then some people who deserve it and the only reason they gain so much is because of the level of confidence they have.

Perhaps with a level of confidence and a decent point of view a person could probably rule the world!..or at least run something big in terms of impact to it. What is power?… is it really defined in confidence of ones decisions to say this is right…that is wrong…and if you can’t deal with it I have the confidence to prove you wrong?

I think its something to think about at least…

Being Born and raised in the great city of Brooklyn, New York most of my life taught me several things about

First thing it taught me is that people come in all sorts of manors. Diversity was a big part of my life and for the most part I came to the conclusion that most people are assholes because well..that’s just how most people in THE WORLD are. Brooklyn you see lots of different people come and go all the time. If it be because its a part of a big city or because of some other strange element really my heart will always be with that very strange ISLAND known as Brooklyn.

The second thing I learned living there is that I would not be who I am today if I was born any place else raised by the people I was raised by. My parents are now and always will be the most amazing two people I have ever met. To have a mother and father like the ones I have is a gift I was born into. I respect,admire, and love with all my heart my parents.

So it being mothers day I feel very rewarded to have a women in my life whom I call mother that has always been there for me. Has always taught me lessons in life that most people would probably take for granted. She’s been a fighter for me in so many ways. Been a amazing protector and has become the model of everything I respect in women in my life.

I love my mother and I hope that in the coming years things continue to get better with are relationship as mother and son.

Observation 032 (04/24/2011)

Its Easter! While I love this holiday cause it deals with bunnies that always Touch my heart it also is a interesting one because most people don’t celebrate it like they would any other holiday.As a matter a fact I have asked several people and no one can give me a answer as to why THE BUNNY IS INVOLVED IN IT?

Either way I have a party to go to later today and I expect it to be a good time at least for a little while (I do have work after all). So anyway things have been picking up at night and while the economy is really not so great with gas prices, and soon food prices going up it seems the world is at a stand still of getting ready for Summer time fun.

I honestly I HATE the summer. I am not a fan of hot weather and really I would rather spring just drag from now till October but the chances of that happening are almost..well..impossible…right? Either way I do have some plans to return to my Brooklyn for some summer fun…MONEY DEPENDING… but I do hope to enjoy it this year. Not going to say I will get a sun tan or anything like that..but it could be some serious fun to enjoy …or at least I HOPE!

While my plans for school got kinda a hitch (and I am working on that) I figure lots still needs to be done and I plan to do. Learning to drive and getting whatever I can done while the weather is good is VITALLY important to me at this point. So far fate has been over all pretty good to me but I don’t think I could keep this going for another year without at least stepping into something to improve my situation in life. Don’t get me wrong my situation isn’t bad at all but its not what I want to be doing 30 some what years from now. Either way things are to be planned that is FOR SURE!

Perhaps its to much of a look at this point for the future but over all I am the type of person who takes the seasons on with goals. Goals that must be accomplished to help me keep what mental state I have. If I don’t accomplish these goals I TEND to worry to much and drive myself into a kinda of depression about why I WASTED TIME.

Either way the weather is changing..things are progressing….Plus in about another month (June 10th) I will be 28….

Dear god….I am getting old

Observation 031 (04/19/2011)

I have never been a person to gamble. Lottery, card games, horse races..etc… Never had any luck with any of it. However gambling is a big part of my life in that I deal with customers who do it all the time. Some people treat it like a hobby I suppose. They come in and play the same games every week, Most others only play when the winnings are high.

This particular store sells single dollar, two, five, tens,twenty and thirty dollar tickets. I have customers who believe in luck and some who do not. Tonight that is what my mind is on at the moment. LUCK!

I am the type of person who after seeing the very small amount of things I have over the years believes in Fate. No matter what I or anyone else does in my belief things are going to go the way they need to. While true in my past I have over thought many things and I do continue to hold that habit I do still believe everything that happens does and will and nothing I can do can change that.

Example of it the best way I can think is that … A man wakes up late for a job. Gets to work and gets fired. Under what I believe no matter what that man could have done even if he had woke up early he was already set in the path to get fired. Nothing could have changed that because it was his path. His Fate as I believe it.

Now over the years I can say luck has been good to me. I have a wonderful family, amazing girlfriend, spectacular friends, and I work a job to support myself that I am content with “Not over joyed” but content with.

Many many people would say I am lucky and while it does feel like a very charmed life I don’t believe luck has anything to do with it. I work hard and I do everything that is required of me and then some. By setting that path I believe that both good and bad things will come my way because naturally that is the way the world works. You can’t have a action without a reaction..

Now if a man wins a million dollars on a lottery ticket people would say he is lucky when in fact he simply got to be part of a very large mathematical statics that would lead him to being the 1 IN 10000 person to do what so many have attempted before him. Now if that same man jumps off a roof and LIVES…

Perhaps that is luck..because now he is hitting odds that simply don’t ever happen. However that could be FATE…Fate is not something that can be justified I believe but it can’t be changed either. If the way of life could be jumped in and out of like a car perhaps more people would do it because it was the smart thing to do.

or perhaps…I am wrong.. Maybe seeing to much is a bad thing?

Observation 030 (04/12/2011)


[uhb-sesh-uhn] Show IPA



the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.


the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.


the state of being obsessed.


the act of obsessing.

People naturally have hobbies, jobs, and suits to the personalities they present each day. Sometimes a person will obsess with work or a hobby to the point of unhealthy delusional psychosis. So many levels to describe obsessions in the lives of everyone who lives today.

Some people obsess with smoking, they pick up a pack. Smoke one…wait two mints..and repeat.. Some people go threw 3 packs a day. That to me can be considered a obsession. Some eat obsessively to the point that during the day they will walk around with a bag of chips or nuts or something just to have something to eat every second. I have seen this all before and the reason I bring this up is because I have a obsession.

Despite popular belief VIDEO GAMES are not my obsession. I enjoy playing them and I probably play more then some but to be more specific about what I obsess over I will make it very clear.


Video games are a source for my obsession. However I am obsessed with a particular title of video game mainly “Mortal Kombat”.

Now It didn’t really accord to me till a few weeks ago how really obsessed I was with said series. Its not a unhealthy obsession either.  I still function just fine without it but I would rather have it then not. I have every book,video game, music album, movie, every internet web site, twitter account, facebook and blog entry related to said series in my home. Every action figure “while some lost due to time” has been purchased, tons of fan art, clothing, Halloween costumes “also lost over the years”. I could probably recite both films from beginning to end without watching the movies in front of me. I could tell you any and every detail rumor and myth related to it.

SAD I KNOW!!! but healthy in that while it is a hobby and a obsession of mine it doesn’t over come my life.

OK ENOUGH OF THAT..BACK to normal talk

Now some people say obsessions are more related to things you can’t control. Like a drug addict… I think this is wrong because being addicted something isn’t the same as obsessing over it. Obsessing is something you choose to do not something you feel you NEED to do. I could live my life without video games and without mortal kombat and continue being the guy I AM. so perhaps the argument of what is a true obsession is more to what I feel like questioning tonight.

Is it right to say obsession is something a person can control? Or Is obsession more of something that is like a addiction?

I could also take into account that without MY OWN obsession much of my personality I am 100% sure would not be the same as it is. Yet that might be another part to this observation I have…maybe 031…

Observation 029 (04/08/2011)

Companionship seems to be something I have focused on a great deal in my life. Everyone wants a companion if it be a dog, cat, girlfriend/boyfriend, gold fish or stuffed animal. Everyone has wanted someone or something they could talk to that allows them to release emotions they simply don’t feel like telling EVERYONE about. Me personally I have a girlfriend, a dog, and a cat all of whom have heard every little underling bitching thing I have ever said. Also every geeky moment I have chances are they get the higher points of it and it probably makes em all :Face palm:

Batman had Robin, Superman had his robots, and well Aquaman had ….his fish?…O.o

Either way people need to get these thoughts out into the open at some point or they eventually hold it in so bad THEY POP INTO A BLOODY MESS!

Ok maybe not so violent but they do kinda pop… and snap..

I don’t really believe in psychology because I think studying the mind is far to complicated a science for humans to ever comprehend. I do however believe people need others to listen.. people to commend one another and so on. Kinda silly but its what I believe!

I think that if we all had someone to bitch too chances are we wouldn’t be so bad off..

Observation 028 (04/05/2011)

wiki defines

A lie (also called prevarication, falsehood) is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others.

This one is going to be a bit touchy I think.

Ok so the question on my mind this morning or more so for a very long time has been “What is a lie?” How does a person define the methods of the actions they do and how they are represented to others in life? Pressure or emotion on a extreme level can cause a person to lie for whatever the reason. It can happen years after a person has known someone or seconds into a conversation.

Most people I know lie to benefit the position on whatever point of view they are in. Its difficult to say why everyone lies but I do know that a great deal of emotional content goes into the reasoning behind it. For example.. Last night I held a good conversation with a old friend about the point of view of a few events that fell between us. She sees it one way as I see it another. More so I think emotion has a great deal to why I see it the way I do and why she see’s it the way she does. YET…

When coming to facts and how we define a lie or a situation that is confusing to both points of view of each person things can get complicated!

Take the point of view of a child in school or LETS MAKE IT REALLY interesting and say its an ADULT! The person comes home from school with a bad report card. Lets say said person gets 4 Grades..of the grades the person gets 3 A’s and 1 F.

Now to some this is going to get really complicated!! Cause if the parent asks.. Did you get a good report card? The person can reply YEA I DID!! :D. which in my point of view is A LIE!!! Cause you can’t say that is a good report card and end it at that. It leaves to many things out of said statement and leaves to much open. Its being DEVIOUS AND DECEPTIVENESS To the question. Especially since you know that information given isn’t what the question at hand is asked.

Common sense will tell anyone if they got that question from a parent the parent isn’t asking “Did you get a good report card?” but more so “DID YOU PASS ALL YOUR CLASSES?” Which is what some people seem to understand but play the  (SMART ASS CARD) and well..give the said answer.  Now if you wanted to be straight forward with a person and be like…ok well.. I need a more direct answer for said question..then good luck on your part because I know my parents would look at me and know straight by the look on my face…I AM LIEING..hehe….its comical in a sense actually.

Perhaps that’s what is missing …the common sense to questions being asked and the answer we give. Me I am over all very direct and a truthful person….at least I like to think so anyway.  If someone asks me.. Do I look bad in this outfit.. I am going to tell em…YES YOU DO..or no your looking good momma!

I never take an answer think it over really fast to my benefit and give that as it is.  Common sense perhaps is what is missing ….and perhaps its what makes people lie in my eyes..because I have seen far to often..people KNOW exactly the question I am asking..and give me some bs answer that is so VAGUE AND unclear that I just view it as a lie….

but that’s just me.

Observation 027 (04/01/2011)

Tonight is one of those nights that the world seems to stand still. Its dark, Raining, cold and the weather according to the reports is going to get worse. So tonight everything is pretty much at a stand still and on nights like this I tend to think or OVER THINK everything. Past, Present and Future… Things come to mind and I often don’t know what to think of any of it.

The Past can be a funny thing because when I think about it more often then not its in one of two ways. Regret or Accomplishment. Regrets come to  mind because I feel some things I could have done better. Of course the other the end of this would be accomplishments..things I HAVE DONE to my best way and feel I couldn’t have done better. Tonight I feel very accomplished with everything that has been done. I am very pleased with my current position in life and know that in the future things will only be getting better. Its a very positive outlook I suppose and perhaps my zen or Che as it was is going according to whatever grand plan that is.

The present really is based more on what I have done and what I plan today. Currently the weather sucks but its not bringing me down. I feel like everything is going according to plan and if I keep a steady head things will progress.

Now the future while honestly I feel I am far more sinister about it then I should be is probably the most complicated thing on my mind because so much has to be done and so much CAN be done. I want good things to happen…HELL WHO DOESN’T. I want to believe that if I keep myself in check like I have for the past few years everything will work out. My wants and my goals are of the highest priorities and this point why shouldn’t they be. Life can be strange….

GEE this was random

Observation 26 (03/26/2011)

OHHHHHH SNAP ITS THE 26TH..and here I am writing observation 26!!

Anyway aside from all that silly shit things have been rather great lately. Got to go to a concert this week which I rarely get to do. Metal/industrial shows are always so funny to me because by the last band that plays the entire place smells of weed and everyone is all sweaty and what not. Good times being deaf for about 12 hours AFTER the show. Over all it was good times and I do look forward to doing it again in the future.

So tonight has been pretty busy. Well in terms of work its been over busy. I have been doing extra days for the past couple of weeks and I am hoping that the next couple of week will follow that same pattern. I need the extra money… Well not really need but WANT IT… it will help to pay for some extra expenses I plan on getting this month. All in fun I suppose and really I do amazes myself with how well I have managed my money and well everything in my life. Time and time again I find it amazing how much I have endured the past few years.  I honestly didn’t think I could pull off any of what I have in terms of my own place, maintaining it, having a girlfriend, and so on..

I suppose getting older just makes you as a person deal with change as it comes. I am still finding this road to be a interesting one and still in the middle of walking it. TONS more still to do just need to get to that point

Observation 25 (03/10/2011)

So I RECENTLY posted a topic on violent video games and I don’t know if I ever wrote about this topic on here but I figured hell the thought is in mind so why not express myself a bit further on the topic. ITS A FUN TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT ANYWAY!

Said topic \/

Playing violent video games: Good or bad? | Psychology Today

My generation built the ESRB “Entertainment System Rating Board”. (Want more info click here The ESRB was created because we reached a level way back in the 16 bit days of video games that we could depict images of violence at such a level it was sort of shocking to parents. I say depict images because before the 16 bit age really violence wasn’t questioned. BLASTING AWAY AT PIXEL SPACE SHIPS just wasn’t violent enough or jump on turtle heads just didn’t raise the blood pressure of some parents to whatever level it did when say “Sub zero ripped the head off his opponent and held it high to a audience of cheering MONKS!) Keep in mind monks promote peace but why that worked..i will never know.

Now chances are if you have children you buy them video games and what I think the big issue is today is not that we have violent video games but that we have parents who don’t know how to be…well…PARENTS. If you buy your child a box of cupcakes..chances are the parent knows..ok this box needs to be monitored or my child will get sick from eating to much sugar and or it will make em fat. Common sense tells us this..and I say us because I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, hell everyone from the north to the south and east and west KNOWS SUGAR ISN’T GOOD FOR YOU AT SUCH HIGH LEVELS..yet we deal with it and that is how it works.

Now if we come to video games the argument being said here is that parents are buying video games “which are forums of entertainment” for there children and not knowing WHATS INSIDE THE BOX.  The ESRB created a method to tell parents WHATS INSIDE THE BOX..but because most parents are too lazy to freaking read the box these people in government are now debating on if the government should regulate it or not. Honestly the Government should do it in my point of view…however I don’t think they can do anything that the ESRB hasn’t already done. The government could perhaps put up black labels like they do with porn on the boxes and I suppose that will make the parents more aware but really the parents that are buying those kids the games with the violence and so on really aren’t paying attention anyway. I mean sure the government could also make it ILLEGAL to sell violent video games to children under the age of 18 but chances are kids are going to get them ANYWAY!..

With my job I sell smokes and alcohol..which is currently regulated by the government and the police and so on. For several years I have been doing this job and I can honestly tell you that some parents would really surprise you with how careless they are to the government. I know plenty of kids that smoke, drink and probably do worse and its all regulated stuff but THE PARENTS AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE KIDS!… Short of giving the death sentence to any parent who has a kid who smokes and is under 18 really…some parents just AREN’T UP FOR THE JOB THEY TOOK IRRESPONSIBLY..

I think the questions the should come to mind when having children should be…AM I READY FOR THIS?,Do I have the time and the resources to deal with raising my child or am I going to leave it to tv,  mass media, and the internet to raise my child…


However we do come to the notes in life that say..well I did everything correct in terms of having a child and not and still mistakes happen and well..I had a kid… The next step ANYONE should ask is what to do to prepare for said children.

Violent media is about as common now as it was 200 years ago. We have always had works of art, music, and media that portrayed violence. Hell I can think of some books that are only now being Translated into VIDEO GAMES and these books have been around for YEARS!!! but no one had an issue with the children reading them…yet some makes that worse?..

Anyone who reads can tell you that books are always FAR BETTER then the medium they are portrayed at on tv or music..why? Because you get more from a book then you do from someone telling you the story. If you are a reader ..which I AM..” I KNOW IT DOESN’T SHOW FROM MY WRITING BUT HEAR ME OUT ANYWAY” you can come up with your own images of the characters, scenes and settings given which in my point of view is probably worse then watching it.  But of course books have had the only really dark background that no one ever questioned…maybe its the media of books that make us violent… I mean really lets stop for a second here…and question something really fast…

MORTAL KOMBAT… DEPICTS violence, some partial nudity, Shows gods,monsters, and shows from the Media acts of horrific violence….its never started a war….

THE BIBLE…Depicts Violence,some partial nudity, talks of gods,monsters, and writes of media acts of horrific violence… TONS HAVE DIED FROM WARS of belief which are still currently underway… end my point… You can’t blame media and what we expose to are children for Violence.. and you can’t say we aren’t doing enough.. Humans need to be entertained and as far back as year zero we have enjoyed watching Violence.. the thing that matters most is are children..and what matters most on the topic of children is how we as PEOPLE Raise them.. we live in a age of digital media… is it really far worse then the written media we had back then..or are people just now allowed to COMPLAIN LOUDER!…

raise your children don’t have others do it for you…

Observation 24 (03/06/2011)

Are we evolving? I often have to question this because my hope for humanity is really really slim at best. Also what is evolving?

The Definition


any process of formation or growth; development: the evolution of a language

If I take the definition to its word then we are all evolving in terms of age and what we knew from birth to the day we die. However if I take into terms what we do as people perhaps we aren’t evolving in terms of physical and mental states. True to forum most of are children today can do things older people have trouble doing like math, science and running computers but is that really evolution?

Years ago it was common for every man to know basic engineering. Building a home, fixing a car, PUMPING GAS AT A GAS STATION. Over time things changed and well some things have become so simplified that to even think of doing any thing manual tends to tire people out. I don’t know if we are evolving but I do know that common sense has become VERY RARE.

Everyone should know basic math,reading of some language or another, and the basic set of laws (Don’t steal,don’t be an ass) This is really common sense yet what I find amazing more and  more is the lack of this vision. Has becoming digital really made us lazy and less intelligent?

GOD FORBID you ask someone to write you a readable letter these days. Some hand writing i find to be..well…sad…and really this is a every day thing but perhaps because of computers and the way we are going things are changing. I don’t think its evolution but perhaps a forum of expanding of what the human race has to offer…


Observation 23 (03/04/2011)

What is adapting? People tend to question what the limits of what they can and can not do are. Some people are born to live in cold weather areas, others are born for more hot weather. Some people require a fast pace life style to stay awake and get work done. Others would rather live in calm slow but thoughtful paced places that require time and perception to get things done.

So can people adapt is the question. Can a person who was born in a area of a slower life style survive in a area were things must be done by the second. I often wonder if that is what makes people on some levels who they are. That perhaps pace is built into each person which is why they choose to do the things they do. It might have a great deal even to do with a level of comfort. So is it really comfort that is what brings us to survive in life. Can a person take comfort in what they do and just dismiss it? Some people were made to drive, build houses, do math, read, and cook. Others were made with ideas of greatness they will and sometimes achieve based on timing and who they know. Some are very social and others are not.

I don’t think people can naturally adapt to different settings. The reason I think this way is because of what I have seen. Some people try all the time to be what they are not. All ways time after time it always catches up to them. True a person can grow up on a farm and want to work in a office but the fact is they have always wanted to work in that office and in the end that is what they are adapted too. Adaption is built from inside a person not outside. It does come from perception or so I believe. Some people are born to  be leaders, others followers. Now that does not mean they will be leaders but it does mean that they have if the chances are presented the ability to do great things in that field.

Life is built into many sections so the question of if that person who was born to be a leader will be one is really based on experience and thus can make it almost impossible to measure that persons leadership commands or not. Yet people have been known to hold drive, commitment, and self awareness to get everything they want and to adapt to a life of peace and war.

Observation 22 (02/22/2011)

Today is one of those days were I work during the DAY. Yes its even odd for me to see the sun at work. Most people think I will burst into flames or something but whatever. Either way its one of those rare days and I feel like it will be a good one! Normally I work at night and I get asked all the time “why do you choose to work at night?”

I am really keen on routine. I like being able to come into work and knowing exactly what I need to do and having things set up to the point that I can time my actions. For example I come into work I know the paper work needs to be done first, coffee checked and the floor done if necessary. Things can be in order and done to a standard I enjoy and accomplish.

I find it hard to believe that people go to work and don’t know what need to be done after lets say three months! Seriously are you that brain dead that if after three months of doing the same thing you still don’t get it. I find it hard to believe yet common also. Perhaps common sense has changed to the point that we have all lowered are levels on what should be done and known and so on.

Maybe its lazy behavior rising but really things are getting bad from my point of view. People don’t know what they are doing with anything and if they do they are probably 3 times older then me and have learned from years of experience. I don’t know…this is a short one but really its bothered me. PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO WAKE THE F@#$ UP!

Observation 21 (02/18/2011)

So the start of the week or Monday to be more specific we had Valentines day!  Lots of people believe its a made up holiday to make couples spend money and those who are single spend even more money on items to keep there mind occupied over the fact that they are SINGLE. I have always taken it as a point to think about Love.

What is love? Why do we fall? WHAT DEFINES love to people and to myself? Can it be measured or is it more complicated then something like the feeling of hate?

On an average week I will ask myself these questions at least once a week and wonder about my own emotional sets and ways. I don’t really have a clear answer and I don’t think I am supposed to have one either. I believe people should set standards both high and low. I believe people don’t need companionship but they want it. It fills a spot both physical and mental that can’t be filled any other way. Sure people have things they enjoy doing in life and some friends perhaps they feel comfortable with. Yet love goes far beyond that all. It becomes a feeling and a state of mind. A driver perhaps even to some and a willingness that without love you just don’t have.

Some people say its not real and that they have never felt it and really I would like to think that to be impossible but I know its not. Love can only be defined by your actions and with that some people spend every day being miserable, and so full of hate that really its very well possible to have never felt love. Now this feeling I think comes from a very early age. Parents set a very strong example of what love should be for the children they raise. For some parents it doesn’t work out and this sets different things in motion for the children. Some children will never want to be like there parents so it goes down a different  route then those that live by almost every word given to them. Others it can be very complicated for..and really that’s just life in general.

My parents are by far the best and most interesting example of love. Everything my mother and father have I hope one day to have in terms of love. Its what I build my own emotional states on in fact. I have never really broken up with any of my girlfriends. I have always been loyal and even when things got bad I always knew I should at least talk over the issues. True the moments have come and gone when I wanted to do some very irrational things to happen to some of my ex’s but really that’s why they are ex’s because the relationship didn’t work out.

I am the type of person that tries everything as he learns it. So I will never say I KNOW EVERYTHING but I do know that the past 15 or so years I have learned a great many things about myself while being involved with women. I believe that males need to define themselves by the actions they present to those who they are close to even family members do have a BIG influence on love. My family is very close even from far distances. We always keep track of one another and while the relationships are in some cases long distance the fact remains that no matter what should happen one family member should be able to rely on another. Respect should always be granted.

So when I enter a relationship I become very open which I have learned is both good and bad. Sometimes it can be to much and I learn to REGRET that or sometimes it can be to little and I find ways to sort that out.  Either way when love does grab me ….good god it feels good. I have become very very very specific about what I want in love and I think my emotions have become very in tune with that. Its not something I choose to do but wanting to do it makes it work. Emotionally a person can’t control who they love but if that love is to become anything that becomes the decision they must make.  So far the relationship I am in now has lasted well over a year and I think its workout pretty damn good. FOR SURE better then any of my past relations..

What a chaotic place love brings us.

Observation 20 (02/07/2011)

So what is Social behavior based upon? My job has a great deal of insight to it as to how people react in the common every day world. Who we are at night and who we are during the day can most of the time become two different point of views on behavior,social standings, and Emotional content.

Behavior from what I can tell really depends on who is with who and can be the sum of Social standings. A person as a individual can walk into a store, Sober and ready to buy food.  They will come in make the selections of what they need pay for it and leave “Good consumer”! That same person may come in after lets say 6 drinks of Alcohol feel perhaps a bit to relaxed about the situation select a few items and NOT pay for it because they feel nothing bad will happen “Bad Consumer”! Now of course this can be flipped both ways and really I don’t think it has so much to do with if they are sober or not but more so to do with if they are CONFIDENT.

Confidence I think is the key to what people do and do not do. Ego’s help and really hurt for the most part based on what people think. Everyone even those with No Confidence feel they are the center of the world. Its not that they are brought up to be that way its that Life in general always places you “as a person” to be mind full of the events of your life. No matter how much schooling or the number of jobs you have your going to always believe that what your doing is only effecting yourself.

Take the second example I will explain here. A group of three of four people walk into a store. That group even if the people are not of average body height and weight they are going to feel more confidence being in a social group of people they can trust then a single person with no one around them who is of higher body weight and height. They are being social and feel protected so the confidence they have levels out with not just how they feel but how the group feels.

Teachers tend to run into this as a problem they have to solve with a class. The children are many the teacher is one so even the best behaved children will from time to time be sneaky little devils with whatever the situation raises because the confidence is built up and the more human side of it shows. I say the more human side because being social is a chemical thing people want to feel.  Everyone wants to be accepted even if they say they don’t a part of them will feel a want to progress on some level of confidence.

Without that confidence we become depressed and most of the time the mind becomes Sick with ideas that are to put lightly anti social. Being anti social isn’t bad but its not something a person should do in large moderation because chemically the mind can’t accept it.

So the question remains why do people do the things they do? Is it because they are confident and ready to deal with the questions that they have in front of them or are they depressed and need to steal and try to find ways to deal outside the box.

Its just really something to think about I guess..hmmmm

Observation 019 (02/14/2011)

So the first month of the year has come and gone we are now into the first week of February. The weather is exactly what I thought it would be and living in New York I am grateful for it. Anyone who knows me knows I love the winter weather. Its much easier to layer yourself in clothing and keep warm then to be hot as hell and have all your clothing off and still BE HOT AS HELL.

Sorry to whomever live in hotter weather climates but I honestly can’t stand anything over 75. Being born and raised most of my life in Brooklyn, NY I love the weather change. Now if we have at the current moment 10 degree weather here in Greenwood Lake,NY I of course feel at home. True the snow is a obstacle to try to get past but its not so bad for me because I walk every place I need to get to anyway. Some people have to dig out cars and do all that winter weather stuff and to them I can understand why they hate hate hate the winter weather but I suppose that’s just the situation for most North Eastern Americans living in this fine state of New York.

What else does this mean to me? Well working at night it means that people of this town don’t come out as much. Mostly because people are working and in school but partly because the temp drops at least 5 degrees at night. The past few weeks its been at least 10 – 15 degrees at night. So yes even if your drunk you still have the sense to stay out of the cold.. or some do. It also means I have plenty of time to set up the store for the morning and insure that everything that wasn’t done GETS DONE.

Its a job and it pays and so far I am enjoying it. True so many people come and ask me. Don’t you want to work with people. Fact is the interactions I have with people during this shift or any really aren’t that great and really I would rather be working on cleaning, store maintenance, and well by myself. Its simply the way I enjoy things. Some people like to work with others..Others like to work by themselves.

Either way its now the start of the second month of the year 2011 and I am going to start doing things a bit different. STRUCTURE is key to building a better life I believe so I will start to keep things a bit more structured. Need to buy a new planner and then…life will become more organized.

Even with organization chaos still finds its way and sometimes that’s not so bad.

Observation 018 (01/23/2011)

The Rule of Three (also Three-fold Law or Law of Return) is a religious tenet held by some Wiccans. It states that whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three times. Some subscribe to a variant of this law in which return is not necessarily threefold.


Tonight I start with a conversation about FATE. I am a firm believer in fate and how things in life are destine to happen. Both good and bad we will all come to whatever roads we need be and while it is in are human nature to torture ourselves with questions of WHAT IF. we tend to continue to mold are futures with whatever actions come from the past and present. Karma perhaps is one of the best words I like using to make clear on what I am talking about here.

If a person does very well on a school test then chances are they will be presented with opportunity to do more in that subject. They will have the know how to do the work coming to them rather then fall behind on work they don’t understand. That’s simply how the system works. Most business work the same way. You do more for them they stay open and in the long run advance in some manor or forum. Does it benefit the person doing the work? Not always YET does it benefit the team and the customers coming in or whoever? Yes of course with a positive more productive term of work people gain more from it even if the person not doing the work SINGLE HANDED does.

Now we could reverse this and say if a person does NO WORK then nothing is gained. However this is not true because in doing no work those that could have benefit from it don’t gain anything either hence losing time and resources which could lead to lower productivity. Having lower productivity is a problem because the amount of work needing to be done is always constant. Which means if a person does no work it actually harms society as a whole.

Now coming back to said topic the question of Karma which basically says whatever I do in life both positive and negative will be reflected to me in the future but based on the action of any given moment. If I give someone 3 dollars chances are I will make back 6 IF given to a positive subject. If given to a negative subject chances are I will not only lose the 3 dollars but the person I have given said 3 dollars too will now know I have money and want to ask for more. Which in turn causes stress, a lack of common sense, and another problem to solve making it both good and bad. DRAMA IS ALWAYS BAD..AND I DO MY BEST TO AVOID it.

So over all the question of the three fold law works for just about everything I do.It makes sense to me and I can’t say it hasn’t work so far.

Observation 017 (12/17/2010)

Sunday nights tend to be over all dead in terms of sales and communication with the people till about 4am. 4am start the standard rush of the morning to a normal work week set. People will come in groups for coffee, smokes, and the news paper pending it shows up on time. On average we need 5 large pots of normal “Farm house” coffee to just keep up with the rush after 4am…till about 10am..then it might if we are lucky slow down a bit but still the work needs to continue with stock and so on.

Anyway during this time it gives me time to reflect a bit on the week past and what has been done.This week I have to go get my second shot from last weeks first shot of my MMR. Yes after months of driving myself crazy over these shots I got lucky last Tuesday and managed to get the shot for free. It was a shock even to myself that after months of trying to get this medical stuff together all I would have to do is show up on the day of orientation and get the shot. I was both pissed off and over joyed because here I am stressing and here the answer is without ANY NOTICE or anything. It was really blind luck. So with that problem solved I now have better direction at what I plan to do.

Either way this week went by fairly slow I will say and really the one thing that keeps coming to mind as far as my observations go is people and the general state of mind they put themselves in.

I CAN NOT COMPREHEND why people do it. People steal and smile right to my face as if they are doing me a favor with being a generalized asshole with there actions. Now don’t get me wrong I know why people do it and to some people I tip my hat with the respect you show me but others… MY GOD ARE YOU REALLY BORN THAT DUMB!!

Once not long ago my brother came to visit me at my job. He was here for a good 10 mints maybe less then that and he couldn’t help but laugh because of how RETARDED people can be. Its not that he didn’t know they were this dumb its that seeing it makes a person really want to be like….REALLY…ARE YOU REALLY DOING THAT!!…..COME ON….

I don’t know either way my mind has kinda gone on me now..but I will leave with this…

Get a Education and learn some common sense…

Observation 016 (01/05/2010)

Alright so first of all I haven’t been sick like this since I want to say I was the age of 15..Maybe 11. I have a fever, a annoying cough, all my joints hurt, and I have been in bed a good 99% of the day. 1% I am in the bathroom for…well..yea

Having not  been sick for so long this is kinda a reminder to me that I need to watch myself. Mortality always comes to mind when a person is sick. Questions pop into the mind. “How sick am I? Will I get others sick? What can I do to feel better? How much more of this do I have to take?”

Being Miserable and sick are kinda a combo on the body. Everything hurts and everything in the world even the funny stuff doesn’t seem so great. I honestly am thinking more about tomorrow and if I will be going to work or not. Honestly I believe I am but who knows at this point.

Advil and Musinx are  god send pills. So far if I maintain the pills I am able to do things. Which really I haven’t done anything all day but rest drink juice and maintain my wellness. My mother brought me juice to drink because she is a sweet heart. Megan has been timing my pills, cooking me good food “Which I can eat at the moment” and basically comforting me to her best ability. Really this is something I feel extremely gifted to have. Most people don’t have people like that in there life’s. So with that I go to lay down again and hope that this will not last much longer.

So here we are again at the end of another year. Every New Years feels so depressing no matter what year it is. Chances are your going to do a great deal of reflecting today and even if the year had so many great things happen your still going to think about most of the horrible things anyway.  I was half expecting this Observation to be rather long but at this point I don’t think I have the energy or really will power to write that much at the moment. I might write again tonight but anyway moving on with the topic.

Every year things change in both small and big ways. People come and go both in moving to different locations that can be reached and some in locations that can’t. One of the biggest changes that happened to me this year was the fact that I got my own place. With both rent and responsibility life did see its progression for me as it always does but when I think back to it I do really live a very charmed life.  I try my best to appreciate all the good things I have and I hope to maintain better awareness for the coming year.

I say Awareness because well lets face it I am human and no matter how many promises I make at the start of the year my awareness of if I will keep those promises will be dependent on what my focus is for the rest of the coming months.  Basically I can say right now ” I will work out more this year, do my best to keep everyone happy and Save lots of money”. Really it doesn’t mean I will because by saying something like that I am trying to draw lines that chances are will be broken. However I can say that so far I am leaning towards attempting those drawn lines.

For all I know 2012 could be the last year of everyone’s life and really it makes me think about something I had not thought of really until recently. Everyone should act as if this 2011 coming is the last year we will have left on this planet. Why?..Because I promise you that when this time comings next year you will feel fulfilled with everything you have done.

So back to 2010.. Do I feel fulfilled with everything that has happened. Yes I do actually but only because I have really pushed myself this year. Sure things may not have gone according to plan but I  have done far more this year then I ever expected to do and all it took was pushing my mind and my body to places I didn’t think I could. Digging deep into what I felt was right and saying F@#K IT I am going to try and if I fail then well its going to lead me some place anyway and if that place be bright or dark it will be some place I have yet to be.

So with all that I am not going to say I will be a better person in the coming year but that I will be a person with goals I hope to set because being human and alive requires that you have HOPE..and that you do even if you don’t think about it now.. you do feel that something better is on the way.


There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves…

John Conner…2018

Observation 014 (12/20/2010)

The Holidays are always a interesting time of the year.People seem to obsess over getting whom what and why? This year I have no clue what I want and no clue why.  I would say gift cards fit that idea pretty well because with one a person can choose later what they want. This is the first year I have everything I could ever want even the tiny things. Video games, Books, Music and movies all complete this year. Well anything that has been released to date anyway plus I have finished all the shopping I can think of right now. So everyone who I wanted to get GOT done…and anyone missing will have to wait till later this year. Money has been a issue but not a big issue really. I have kept up with my bills to perfection and really the only issue I am having is the side things which the Holidays seem to be.

Holidays are what I figured I would write about right now. People seem to feel some serious pressure during the month of December to save money for whomever. Yet if whomever asked for lets say money for gas during the month of January chances are the person would come up with an excuse. I still can’t comprehend why people come up with excuses when really most people… OK…well most people I guess don’t want the truth but still the truth is more blunt and does improve the lifestyles of those who accept it. So why do the people feel that “Hint” of giving and kindness?

It could be the media’s influence as I so often hear from people. Christmas THE TV’S FAULT!!…Fact is it is a religious holiday as those same people know but elements from it correspond with the points of gifts and Santa and so on. So people go shopping for “Friends” and people basically do what they can for other people ONE TIME A YEAR.


Yet it is normal also for people to do this every single year. It also kinda contradicts what the whole holiday season is based upon. Giving and not Receiving because its the kind thing to do as a HUMAN. This should be a all year round thing not something we start to plan to do after Halloween. I am not going to say I am better then anyone or anything but I will say that if someone came knocking on my door who I did not know. I would give the time to get to know them BASED ON appearance and the offer of what I could do for them with my abilities.

So lets try a example..If a man wearing a business suit came to the door and said he would like to talk to me about his life chances are I would let him in my home and we would talk. I would be very nervous and I would probably be asking myself over and over why is this guy coming to me WHILE HOLDING MY CELL WITH the numbers 911 ready to go if I felt something wasn’t going the way I wanted it too. Lets face it if its the first time you are going to talk to me my comfort is the most important thing NOT YOURS. I am a open minded person and really I don’t care if your RICH, black, white, dead, a zombie or a cat. I care mostly about how you interacting with me and what you have to say.

So this again goes back to the Holidays where we are told GIVE to those who need. Be kind to your friends and show them you care……DO THIS NOW…NOT ALL YEAR..BUT NOW….

I personally think all year should be done…NOW IS GREAT…but All year would probably improve the world….or….would it?

Observation 013 (12/19/2010)

Shopping is a experience. It is also the equalization of what most modern people can title Adventures.

By definition the word “Adventure” means..


an exciting or very unusual experience.


participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.


a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.


a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture.

5. Obsolete .

So as I was saying Shopping is most likely how the modern day people have Adventures. Today my Mother and I went shopping. We left on said Adventure at about 1030am and didn’t get to finish till about 3 or 4. I say about 3 or 4 because by the time we were done I was SUPER tired and can’t really remember what time it was. I picked up what I needed and she did as well.

Now the shopping part is pretty simple to understand. Most people make lists and then go out and pick up whatever. However the “Adventure part” is far more interesting because you don’t really comprehend until your done with everything what you have done to do the shopping. For example before even thinking about going shopping several things will jump to mind. Weather, what you will wear, how much energy you feel you have, and how much money you have to spend are all the first four things that will jump to your mind right away.

Weather… If its good chances are that will up your willingness to go. which will also effect what you wear that day. Depending on the effort of work needed to deal with a rainy day will probably also effect your willingness to go out. This is mostly what comes to mind when people wake up in all actuality because based on those four questions you will either come to do or don’t do specific tasks you either know or DON’T KNOW you need to do that day.

During the winter time shopping becomes more of a Modern Day Adventure also because you need to prep yourself BEFORE EVEN LEAVING THE HOUSE. boots, socks, underwear,layers or no layers, umbrellas, scarfs, gloves, etc…all come to mind and in most cases people are just to tired to deal with it all and will give up on just the thought of leaving the house because of the amount of effort needed to just get OUT THE DOOR. Not a big deal but chances are if you eat before even planning your day. You will most likely end up doing something active even if you do stay home.

Now once a person does get out of the house they need to get to the destination. More questions come to mind.. Can I walk to said destination, will I drive, how much gas is needed if I do drive, If I take the bus how much will it cost, Is my MP3 Player charged “this is A FAR MORE MODERN QUESTION TO BE ASKED AND HAS BEEN THE MORE RECENTLY ADDED QUESTION…YAY FOR THE 2000’S.” and again should I really do this today?

Once you do choose to go out you then have to deal with the problems that come with the ADVENTURE side of things. Driving, dealing with the products, dealing with the customers around you and dealing with the advertisements.

Some people say more work actually goes into shopping then the work it takes to get the money to GO Shopping. Sometimes.. I must wonder if its true.

Observation 012 (12/13/2010)

Obsessions drive us to be what we are. In some cases obsessions can even be the reason we wake up in the morning. Some people obsess over work, others obsess over fashion. If its an active thing in life chances are a person can obsess over it. Things like cleaning, Cooking, TV, Taxes, and whatever. Some people say obsessions aren’t healthy because they lead to push people over the edge of normality. Others say obsession can be Extremely good for the soul like obsessing over religion and work.

Goals are achieved and things get done beyond that of comprehension threw a person’s obsessed mind. If the world was full of people who were obsessed with Technology chances are we would all be living life’s in computers. The same can be said about sports. If the world was obsessed with sports we would all be body builders and active on whatever health and medication discoveries we could find. Yet the world is diverse so people in general obsess over EVERYTHING.

I myself have obsessions both good and bad. I obsess over time so I am almost never late unless something happens out of my control. I obsess with money so I know what my limits are and what bills need to be paid. I obsess with my job so that I do the best I can at it and whatever I miss I am sure someone will tell me “Blank” needs to be corrected and so I correct it. School I am going to drive myself to be obsessed with so that I go in get what needs to be done FINISHED..and get out.  Most cases it comes down to will power as a person also. People tend to want to be obsessed with the right things but question how they can do it and how they can gain enough interest in whatever so that they can accomplish whatever goal that need be done.

I see people all the time obsess over the wrong things yet question how they can improve those obsessions. Like smoking or drinking or both. People always say “Don’t smoke it becomes a expensive obsession. Can I have a pack of this or that.” It makes me laugh because how can a person say not to do something then DO IT. Sounds kinda silly but I understand the feeling of wanting better for your fellow man/woman. People never put the shoes on the feet of themselves without putting them on others first. That is simply how people are programed. Some more then others and others less then some but at times it does happen.

I myself know that as time goes on nothing stays the same so my obsessions must adapt with the time. However some things I do like to keep and drag along with me such as my love for my family, ICE CREAM, video games, reading. I guess really obsessions can be questioned but can they ever truly be broken?

Observation 011 (12/02/2010)

Alright so right now I am sitting in a hotel room near Rockefeller Center.  in Manhattan.  My cousin Chris whom I met up with yesterday to take advantage of his visit to this lovely city is now sleeping…well kinda…

I unfortunately due to my sleeping habits slept  for about 4 hours and then got up ready to take on the world. At 930am I will be on the bus return me home where I will then sleep again and get ready for work for tonight. THE START OF MY WORK WEEK.

Yesterday I had a very good time with Megan and Chris..however not at the same time. Megan left with me early yesterday morning to come to the city to meet Chris. However because of the weather and well being Ill prepared for the situation which really I should have thought it threw before hand.  Megan had to leave early but not before having a good time with me and well making the best of everything. I later met up with my Cousin sooner then I expected and we went about the city visiting the Nintendo store, the Xmas tree, and a pizza shop. Who knows what we will do this morning but over all its good times.

One of the things I found so interesting about this city is that everyone keeps to themselves. UNLESS..they are trying to sell you something..then they have no problem talking to you for hours about said item they are trying to sell. Kinda sad but true that this is how Manhattan works. You would think in a place where at any given moment you can see at least 20 people on one block SOMEONE would have something to say. Yet they don’t..they keep to themselves and I have to really wonder what the hell is the point of all this internet social networking if your not even going to SOCIAL NETWORK OUTSIDE.

Me personally I hate this stupid facebook program and the only reason I have one is to write these notes and keep tabs with friends and family. Its really done no good other then that..

Maybe it should be called INTERNAL SOCIAL NETWORKING..because chances are the people you meet on this thing you already know or just want to keep tabs on…how bizarre..

Its also a very fast moving city so perhaps that’s why no one stops to talk … they simply have to much to get too.

Ok well I wasn’t sure I would continue doing these stupid observations but I am now on 10 and well that’s a good thing I guess. Any way today is going to be one of those long days for me. Of course I work this morning but at around 9am I will be taking a bus into Warwick, NY to get some papers signed for school. From Warwick,NY I will be going to the City to hand those papers in and see my cousin Chris. Hopefully during the bus ride I will be given enough time to pass out and make up for some of the lack of sleep I will probably be having tonight. Chances are I will be up for more then 24 hours but who knows right?

I really am hoping that everything goes according to plan and that this day doesn’t end in disappointment.

So Monday morning is here again and well its your typical Monday. People wake up, come here for coffee, and go to work. Normally its the same people and my bosses and managers and so on show up at around 5am. Everything is long past done with the store and stocked as best as can be. Really its become so routine I really do surprise myself with how effective things have become. Not much to complain about now but I will likely post more later today.


Observation 009 (11/28/2010)

Today is one of those days that I made the chose to work from 7pm till 630 am. Its now 2:13am and I am still working.Everything is clean and what not so I figure I take a couple moments just to get my mind straight. Saturday Nights during the summer are normally very busy. Winter time not so much..busier then normal and we do make a good profit at night but not bad enough for me to take 5 mints to myself on and off.

Right now my mind is very focused on school and I feel very very discouraged by the amount of BS i am being brought threw by just TRYING TO SIGN UP.

So here is what has happened. Two weeks ago I went into the city with my medical papers only to be told that my MMR needs a second date. This was last Tuesday…or the Tuesday before that.. that I went into the city with Megan and was told this information. I said ok ..they gave me the forum I needed and I went on my way. I called the doctor and gave my phone number and told them I need to talk to the doctor about getting this forum signed and brought back. I had plans on doing this on MONDAY.. Saddly the doctor hasn’t called me back and Monday is approaching and still the paper isn’t signed.

Now I am in debate on if this doctor is going to call me Monday. Tell me to bring the paper to him that same day..and then Go into the city to hand it in. I am willing to do it JUST TO GET THIS ALL DONE WITH..However I can’t help but feel really discouraged by the amount of time and effort I have already put into this school and how much time and effort they keep wasting on excuses and so on.

Its extremely discouraging and really I would probably feel better about all of this if things actually went according to plan. People make plans every day and they normally go pretty well. Any time I make plans they always get hitched up by something. NOT because the plans are bad but because SOMETHING…always has to go wrong. Something unseen or unexpected happens. My medical records which state on them that I DID take the MMR when I was like 1 years old..LETS ME GO TO SCHOOL… doesn’t accept it because of something someone did… 27 YEARS AGO!!…

Its tiring.. I am really really tired of having to go back and forth with this school stuff. None of this is my fault I said everything that has stopped me has been out of my control and when I try to get it in control things get hitched and I am forced to WAIT or…just get discouraged..

Monday I am going to deal with this problem. Even if I have to go to the doctors and FORCE THEM to sign the damned paper.. I am tired of having to wait on this crap already. Yet again knowing my luck the school will get the papers and Something else will go wrong…

But if that’s the case maybe all this effort means something? Perhaps when all is said and done something really really good will come of it? I don’t know but one can hope I suppose.

Observation 008 (11/23/2010)

Ok so its another night of four hour sleep..YAY :(.. I don’t know why I can’t sleep more then four hours at a time but I really wish it would stop. Right now I am kinda getting ready for a morning full of a short laundry trip and perhaps a few important phone calls to whomever about whatever.  I passed out around 1 am ish.. woke up at like 430-5am and just haven’t been able to pass back out.

Before said sleep happened I was watching netflix more specifically “South Park”. I freaking hate south park but for whatever the reason I needed something to watch and well it was a option. God knows why but I ended up watching like 4 or 5 episodes and honestly I just don’t know how this show lasted for 12 seasons and I think its still being aired. Now I understand the concept of the cartoon being this crude humor politics and social topic way of entertaining people. Some of the jokes are pretty funny and really over all it has a very addictive feel to it the damned show but my god some of the time I can feel my brain cells slowly leaving my head just from watching it for more then 2 seconds.

When I was in Junior high and High school everyone seemed to think it was the greatest show since the Simpsons but honestly I think it was mostly cause most the people “Epically in high school” were well….HIGH.. I am all for High humor when its funny but good god…ok I will not make this a bashing of a cartoon I simply don’t understand and have no interest in…no no no …

Again like I said when I started this my mind is kinda all over the place right now. I simply can’t focus on one thing to think about and this lack of sleep probably isn’t help me any. wow when this place gets gets really dark……

….kinda creepy…..

the dark….


Observation 007 (11/27/2010)

Definition of SINISTER


archaic : unfavorable, unlucky


archaic : fraudulent


: singularly evil or productive of evil


a : of, relating to, or situated to the left or on the left side of something; especially : being or relating to the side of a heraldic shield at the left of the person bearing it b : of ill omen by reason of being on the left

So why would I start this observation with a definition of sinister. Well its important that you “the read” understands what I mean when I say the word. I personally do not believe people are naturally born to be sinister. I believe it has a great deal to do with how they are raised and who they interact with. I have seen with my own eyes people grow up to be angels in situations were being sinister was probably what they should have been or was tagged to be.

Now another thing about the word is I like using it to describe people. I don’t think people are bad, or good naturally born either. Good and bad are words better to be used for your taste in food and music not in the behavior of people. Why? Because saying a person is bad is pretty much saying you understand all said person has done in the past and you give yourself a high platform of being to judge. Of course we all judge but I once again personally like to give people a bit more thought then they probably deserve. Hell that statement alone says much about my point of view of judgment to start with.

Anyway people are not naturally sinister. I believe it has a great deal to do with who they interact with and how they are raised. Parents hold a very important role in the foundation of any growing child, teenager, and adult. From day one you are taught to speak, walk, eat and so on. PARENTS set up that foundation and if done correctly and MONITORED correctly a person can grow up to be “less Sinister” then most people are in the world.

This whole idea of a perfect world where people don’t steal, or do anything sinister is just oblivious to me. People need things to go wrong so that they feel they have goals to accomplish. If everything went right people would look for something to do just to pass the time and thus create a steady flow of actions to make life meaningful.

My job now requires me to serve people and CORRECT the actions to keep everything steady. Without my place or anyone’s place doing this job. Nothing would be corrected and the flow would simply become unbearable. Everything would fail. Now how much of a impact that would have on the world I can’t say but having meaning must be equivalent to something important…right?

Observation 006 (11/16/2010)

Its been a couple of days since I have written so I figured before passing out I will write a bit about today. Oddly enough I passed out yesterday at 6pm and didn’t wake up until about 6am this morning. That almost never happens to me. Normally I sleep for 4 hours and then wake up to do whatever.. Either way I worked today from 2-9 and have to go into the city tomorrow which right now I am kinda looking forward to. I miss my city and honestly any chance I get to go back is normally a pleasant trip.

Its changed so much over the years but all and all the feeling is still that of a warm home to me. I don’t think I would be the person I am today if I was raised any place else. Either way that’s tomorrow and today like I said I worked. I normally don’t work during the day but hey I take whatever hours I can get. Today was one of those days that started out REALLY depressing but then slowly the more I reflected on everything the more I realized that threw pain you gain strength. This year much pain has been brought to my attention with the passing of so many people in my life. Yet with it I think about all that I have now and all that I need to progress in life. The gift of time is in my hand right now. I must use it well and accomplish all that I can while I have it.

I can only hope that things progress in my life. Faith in myself is all I need. Help from others is a gift and not many people appreciate how important that is.

Observation 005 (11/13/2010)

Today was one of those days that went by rather fast. I wasn’t feeling so great and I probably should have done my laundry but I didn’t. Instead I slept most of the day away due to a really bad head ach and over all just not feeling so great. So I spent most of the day in bed. I believe I got up to make some food once and that was about it. Woke up at 930pm to get ready for work and now here I am doing as I am supposed to be doing.

Friday Nights are normally very very busy. People tend to go out on the days they have off of work and school and so Friday nights can be rather hectic. However due to the recent weather change not to many people have been coming out. Its been 30 degrees recently at night so not to many people freezing themselves for “Recreation”.

I enjoy my silent nights and more so I take this time to think over the events that will be coming shortly in the weeks to pass. Thanks giving is around the corner, followed by Christmas and New years to follow. I still find it hard to believe how quickly this year has gone by but with all the changes and events that have accord in both my life and well life in general. Things seem to be progressively moving along for everyone.

Tonight I find myself at ends with a few things. Mostly the thought of whats next to happen? The more I attempt to plan the more complicated the situations I have to get past get. I have filled out the follow up papers for college and right now am just waiting for January 28th to show up. That will be the date I start school…FINALLY.

I still need to set up my life and so on with work and with school. Once all that is done everything else should be progressive on its own I find it very interesting that its take me this long to get to college and to even have a goal set for myself on what I want to do with my life. However I am happy I took my time with it all. I do know if I had rushed into school before this year I probably would have made many mistakes and it would have cost me money I DON’T HAVE. This way i leave the Damage of owing school and whatever at a minimum. Minimum and money go together very well and I rather like to keep it that way.

I have always been rather smart with my money. True I have made some mistakes and I am still pay for most of em but with each effort I find myself learning in the long run and that in itself is progress. I know better now and I believe that by setting standards for how I use my money and how I plan to get by everything will eventually turn out just Perfect..or close to it.

See I am the kinda guy who accept it when a pink panda bear comes walking into my store and wants to buy a pack a Newports or When some carnies come into the store and buy half the store but leave the other half a mess. I accept it because at this point in my life its all about the experience rather then the seriousness to the situation. True the pink panda is kinda pushing it but over all how many people can say they have dealt with such things in life. I have stories and I tell stories about things I have done so that I can look back and laugh about how silly it was and or is.

The Past 27 years have been a blessing and I know the next 27 will be as well..As a person you have to be capable of accepting that everything you do will have a effect on everything you are about to do.

Observation 004 (11/11/2010)

You know that feeling that most people get on Sunday’s before you have to go to work or school? That feeling of “oh goodness I have to be responsible now. I hope I can do all the things I already know I can do!”.. Well I normally get that feeling on Thursday Morning. My work week starts on Thursday Night so while most people are excited about Friday I kinda dread it.

Well dread isn’t exactly the word best used to describe it but it is the start of a work week and while I do enjoy my job enough to appreciate all that I have from work and that it’s not a horrible job I believe its just a mature feeling to have.

Like I have said in the past my job is very routine y and really to some this is a very good thing. I love that it is the way it is cause I am not really type of person to endure change very quickly. I am very to my own pace with everything I do. I wouldn’t say slow but I like to be accurate in what I do. If I know all the rules and all the sets for what has to be done I feel more comfortable doing it that way. I do my best to set times for myself so that my body and mind can both work correctly.

On most days I will come home from work at 630am stay up for a little bit “Check e-mail, call mom (sometimes), mess with some games for a few moments” Then I will pass out for about 4 hours give or take. Wake up do a few things that need to be done and then around 5 or 6 pass out again for 4 hours till about 930pm. I take my shower and do what not then off to work I go at around 1030pm. Get to work a few moments before and start to do whatever needs be done.

Its a simple enough lifestyle and I enjoy it. I wish I could incorporate some exercise into this set but each and every time I do it usually only last a few weeks and so many things it changes. I am sure that once things are a bit less chaotic I will be able to incorporate more but for now I am happy with how things are.

Tonight is one of those nights where I didn’t get so much sleep. I am not really sleepy yet but I know later on tonight I will be. Personally I hate drinking coffee but more often then not nights like these will require it. If not Mountain dew which really I can’t stand the taste of anymore. I am kinda odd like that.. If I have to repeatedly eat something or drink something for that matter over and over in a small period of time I start to dislike it.

Living in Wisconsin with a women who only ate turkey products kinda drove me away from turkey for awhile. So really I try to avoid it now at all cost. However of recently I don’t mind it so much seeing as how that was YEARS ago at this point. Almost 2 I believe…damn…time does fly

Observation 003 (11/10/2010)

Today I went to a good friend of mine’s mothers wake. I have not been to a wake before and this being a first I didn’t really know what to expect. I have been to several funerals in the past years but wakes never really appealed to me as events I would want to attend cause I figured they would be to depressing. However what I came to learn is that it wasn’t as depressing as I thought it would be. It was more so a refection on the good things that happened to said person. Past photos and stories about the person who passed were being told and I found myself questioning not only myself but those around me what type of life’s they had and or were leading to have.

I am guessing that was the point. It was supposed to make me question how good I was to the person who passed and how that person changed my life in any little way or big way for that matter. My friend James was the first person to really approach me when I started school in Tuxedo several years ago. He is probably one of the most honest humble and kind people I know and have met in my life. His mother whom was the one that passed was also extremely humble and welcoming every time I visited and or came over his house.

Honestly the idea that a person can pass still I don’t think has not hit me yet. Yet I suppose in life it always does take time to realize these things.  Everything in life does change as each day passes and I must question what for?

Observation 2a (11/8/2010)

So today I was supposed to go to the city. The weather sucked, I started to feel kinda sick and well I didn’t go. Instead I stayed home with my girlfriend and slept most of the day. I did however manage to pull myself out of bed to check the mail at the post office. While out I ran into my sister which was unexpected and nice as well. However it got me to thinking about how small this town is.

Living in Brooklyn things like that almost never happen. You see someone for a second and unless you know that person previously chances are you will not see them again. It might have to do with the range of how big the area is or maybe because of timing but either way. Just something I thought about.

Anyway I have been a Gamer for as long back as I can remember walking. I have been playing video games like Super Mario, Zelda, Mortal Kombat, Resident evil, and so on for a very long time. I think its perhaps the only addiction I actually have short of my want for Ice cream and candy. I AM BIG ON SUGAR..but not as much as I was when I was younger. Damn metabolism slowing down..

So yea I went and played my Playstation 3 and noticed that while playing an online game with some random guy that being cooperative without being able to talk to a person is really HARD. Its like having to assume that the person is better or worse then you and expecting them to make the right move so that the game can progress.  I think its the only thing a person can do to get that feeling. Most sports you can talk to your partners and plan a set way of doing things. Most jobs you can do the same as well. Only in the video game world can you actually participate in a social event without it actually being social. Hell even computer games you can type messages to people and really I think its super strange that we as people in the time now can do such a thing. I am probably over thinking this but either way its something that popped in my head and I figured I would write about it.

Damn I could go for some jelly donuts now….

Observation 002 (11/8/2010)

On any given Sunday this town I live in dies. I mean of course dies as in it goes completely silent from the hours of about 11pm till about 4am. You could probably film a Zombie movie right now and no body would really notice what was going on during these hours..

(Thinks maybe that’s not a bad idea)

The only people coming out tonight are the people who don’t have work in the morning “which most do” and those who are again “Doing recreational things”. During these hours I am given a good amount of time to do everything that the weekend crew may have missed from the extremely busy weekends we tend to have.  Most of the work being done by me is routine (make coffee,clean the store up, throw the old papers out/count them, check the garbage, check the bathrooms, clean the cooler, reset the gas pumps,dust if I can and check the little details that need to be checked.) By the time most of this is done its 2am…around give or take 3am the bread shows up and I butter the hell out of all that stuff so that the morning commuters have butter for the bread stuff they LOVE…

Again its basically routine at this point. The same people come in every Monday morning/Sunday Night and get the same things EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

Its almost scary how I can time the number of people in this town. Really the only thing that would mess up that timing is either said person is unemployed or they moved out of town. Yet I find it very interesting how people require the same set up’s every day without even knowing it.

What makes this job particularly great is the number of Alcoholics I have to help each and every night. Now this town has two bars in it plus a few restaurants that normally stay open to if or around between 12am till 4 am depending on the crowed and day of the week.

In a small town I suppose it is essential that a place like my job stays up 24 hours a day so that whatever happens to the people living here they know they can get basic needs at any time..

Observations 001(11/7/2010)

I have worked at a gas station for almost 4 years on and off. A good part of that time my shift consisted of coming into work at 10:30pm and leaving at 630am. Most people are sleeping and those that are not are off of work doing something recreational. I say recreational because the chances of it being something different from person to person is high and they are probably doing it because the said person/persons either can’t sleep or are enjoying whatever far more then they should be much like a sport “recreational”. Most people who come to my job are very happy/CRAZY or very sad/Angry also. This also tends to make people want to talk more.

Example: I just had a 2 Minute conversation with a women about why she was buying bacon at 1:21am. She was Very happy and explained to me that she was buying the bacon because she had at her home a “If” book. (For those who don’t know “If” books are books you write in to question yourself. What if I had to buy only one food? Drive one car? Live my last day knowing it was my last day? etc…) Apparently bacon was her one food.

A person will walk into my job and be 80% of the time be pleasant. They will 90% of the time be really strange but over all Pleasant. I say strange because I have had the privilege of seeing people with cow costumes coming into this place and it was December…not even close to Halloween… I have also held many conversations with those around me about Aliens, Government, Religion and well gossip that really I could careless for.

I myself am not a drinker nor do I do drugs or smoke anything. I am one of very very few people on this planet who can honestly say I haven’t ever done a drug or smoked a thing in my life. I have Drank from time to time but mostly at family events or with family members but even then that is pushing it. When I was under 21 it was more exciting and now that I am almost 28 its lost whatever feeling that was a long time ago.

With that said this job really does enforce my want and will power NEVER to do a drug or even drink for that matter. Watching the blind makes you really happy that you can see. So this is pretty much the first Note of observations I will start posting on here.. I am sure that a list of these will lead to something..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s